Clean|NNP Joke|NNP Waiter|NNP :|: "|'' Tea|NNP or|CC coffee|NN ,|, gentlemen|NNS ?|. "|'' 
1st|CD customer|NN :|: "|'' I|PRP 'll|MD have|VB tea|NN .|. "|'' 
2nd|CD customer|NN :|: "|'' Me|PRP ,|, too|RB .|. 
And|CC be|VB sure|JJ the|DT glass|NN is|VBZ clean|JJ !|. "|'' 
(|( Waiter|NNP exits|NNS ,|, returns|NNS )|) 
Waiter|NNP :|: "|'' Two|CD teas|NNS .|. 
Now|RB which|WDT one|CD of|IN you|PRP gentlemen|NNS wanted|VBD the|DT clean|JJ glass|NN ?|. "|'' 

That|DT 's|VBZ Easy|NNP !|. Q|NNP :|: How|WRB do|VBP you|PRP identify|VBP a|DT bald|JJ eagle|NN ?|. 
A|DT :|: All|DT of|IN his|PRP$ feathers|NNS are|VBP combed|VBN to|TO one|CD side|NN .|. 

Subject|NNP :|: Little|NNP Known|VBN Facts|NNP 1|CD .|. Barbie|NNP 's|POS full|JJ name|NN is|VBZ Barbara|NNP Millicent|NNP Roberts|NNP 
2|CD .|. It|PRP is|VBZ impossible|JJ to|TO lick|NN your|PRP$ elbow|NN 
3|CD .|. A|DT crocodile|NN ca|MD n't|RB stick|VB its|PRP$ tongue|NN out|IN 
4|CD .|. A|DT shrimp|NN 's|POS heart|NN is|VBZ in|IN their|PRP$ head|NN 
5|CD .|. People|NNS say|VBP "|'' Bless|NNP you|PRP "|'' when|WRB you|PRP sneeze|NN because|IN when|WRB you|PRP sneeze|NN ,|, your|PRP$ heart|NN stops|VBZ for|IN a|DT millisecond|NN 
6|CD .|. In|IN a|DT study|NN of|IN 200,000|CD ostriches|NNS over|IN a|DT period|NN of|IN 80|CD years|NNS ,|, no|DT one|CD reported|VBD a|DT single|JJ case|NN where|WRB an|DT ostrich|NN buried|VBD its|PRP$ head|NN in|IN the|DT sand|NN (|( or|CC attempted|VBD to|TO do|VB so|RB )|) 
7|CD .|. It|PRP is|VBZ physically|RB impossible|JJ for|IN pigs|NNS to|TO look|VB up|RP into|IN the|DT sky|NN 
8|CD .|. A|DT pregnant|JJ goldfish|NN is|VBZ called|VBN a|DT twit|NN 
9|CD .|. Between|IN 1937|CD and|CC 1945|CD Heinz|NNP produced|VBD a|DT version|NN of|IN Alphabetti|NNP Spaghetti|NNP especially|RB for|IN the|DT German|JJ market|NN that|WDT consisted|VBD solely|RB of|IN little|JJ pasta|NN swastikas|NNS 
10|CD .|. By|IN law|NN ,|, every|DT child|NN in|IN Belgium|NNP must|MD take|VB harmonica|NN lessons|NNS at|IN Primary|JJ school|NN 
11|CD .|. On|IN average|JJ ,|, a|DT human|JJ being|NN will|MD have|VB sex|NN more|JJR than|IN 3,000|CD times|NNS and|CC spend|VB two|CD weeks|NNS kissing|VBG in|IN their|PRP$ lifetime|NN 
12|CD .|. More|JJR than|IN 50|CD %|NN of|IN the|DT people|NNS in|IN the|DT world|NN have|VBP never|RB made|VBN or|CC received|VBN a|DT telephone|NN call|NN 
13|CD .|. Rats|NNP and|CC horses|NNS ca|MD n't|RB vomit|NN 
14|CD .|. The|DT "|'' sixth|JJ sick|JJ sheik|NN 's|POS sixth|JJ sheep|NN 's|POS sick|JJ "|'' is|VBZ said|VBN to|TO be|VB the|DT toughest|JJS tongue|NN twister|NN in|IN the|DT English|NNP language|NN 
15|CD .|. If|IN you|PRP sneeze|NN too|RB hard|JJ ,|, you|PRP can|MD fracture|NN a|DT rib|NN .|. If|IN you|PRP try|VBP to|TO suppress|VB a|DT sneeze|NN ,|, you|PRP can|MD rupture|NN a|DT blood|NN vessel|NN in|IN your|PRP$ head|NN or|CC neck|NN and|CC die|VB .|. If|IN you|PRP keep|VBP your|PRP$ eyes|NNS open|JJ by|IN force|NN ,|, they|PRP will|MD pop|VB out|IN 
16|CD .|. Rats|NNP multiply|VB so|RB quickly|RB that|IN in|IN 18|CD months|NNS ,|, two|CD rats|NNS could|MD have|VB over|IN a|DT million|CD descendants|NNS 
17|CD .|. Wearing|VBG headphones|NNS for|IN just|RB an|DT hour|NN will|MD increase|VB the|DT bacteria|NNS in|IN your|PRP$ ear|NN by|IN 700|CD times|NNS 
18|CD .|. If|IN the|DT government|NN has|VBZ no|DT knowledge|NN of|IN aliens|NNS ,|, then|RB why|WRB does|VBZ Title|NNP 14|CD ,|, Section|NN 1211|CD of|IN the|DT Code|NNP of|IN Federal|NNP Regulations|NNPS ,|, implemented|VBN on|IN July|NNP 16|CD ,|, 1969|CD ,|, make|VBP it|PRP illegal|JJ for|IN U.S.|NNP citizens|NNS to|TO have|VB any|DT contact|NN with|IN extraterrestrials|NNS or|CC their|PRP$ vehicles|NNS ?|. 
19|CD .|. In|IN every|DT episode|NN of|IN Seinfeld|NNP there|EX is|VBZ a|DT Superman|NNP somewhere|RB 
20|CD .|. The|DT cigarette|NN lighter|JJR was|VBD invented|VBN before|IN the|DT match|NN 
21|CD .|. Thirty-five|CD percent|NN of|IN the|DT people|NNS who|WP use|VBP personal|JJ ads|NNS for|IN dating|VBG are|VBP already|RB married|VBN 
22|CD .|. A|DT duck|NN 's|POS quack|UH does|VBZ n't|RB echo|VB anywhere|RB ,|, and|CC no|DT one|CD knows|VBZ why|WRB 
23|CD .|. 23|CD %|NN of|IN all|DT photocopier|NN faults|NNS worldwide|NN are|VBP caused|VBN by|IN people|NNS sitting|VBG on|IN them|PRP and|CC photocopying|VBG their|PRP$ buttocks|NNS 
24|CD .|. In|IN the|DT course|NN of|IN an|DT average|JJ lifetime|NN you|PRP will|MD ,|, while|IN sleeping|VBG ,|, eat|VB 70|CD assorted|JJ insects|NNS and|CC 10|CD spiders|NNS 
25|CD .|. Most|JJS lipstick|NN contains|VBZ fish|NN scales|NNS 
26|CD .|. Cat|NNP 's|POS urine|NN glows|NNS under|IN a|DT black|JJ light|JJ 
27|CD .|. Like|IN fingerprints|NNS ,|, everyone|NN 's|POS tongue|NN print|NN is|VBZ different|JJ .|. 
Now|RB ,|, when|WRB was|VBD the|DT last|JJ time|NN you|PRP left|VBD your|PRP$ tongue|NN print|NN someplace|NN ,|, or|CC tried|VBD to|TO lick|NN your|PRP$ elbow|NN ?|. 

From|IN Ashes|NNP to|TO Ashes|NNP Two|CD widows|NNS were|VBD visiting|VBG in|IN the|DT lounge|NN of|IN the|DT Seniors|NNP '|POS Center|NNP .|. 
"|'' Well|RB ,|, "|'' one|CD said|VBD ,|, "|'' Mary|NNP has|VBZ just|RB cremated|JJ her|PRP$ third|JJ husband|NN .|. "|'' 
"|'' Yeah|UH ,|, that|DT 's|VBZ the|DT way|NN it|PRP goes|VBZ ,|, "|'' replied|VBD the|DT other|JJ widow|NN .|. 
"|'' Some|DT of|IN us|PRP ca|MD n't|RB find|VB a|DT husband|NN ,|, and|CC others|NNS have|VBP husbands|NNS to|TO burn|VB !|. "|'' 

How|WRB To|TO Wash|NNP the|DT Cat|NNP 1|CD .|. Thoroughly|NNP clean|VB the|DT toilet|NN .|. 
2|CD .|. Lift|VB both|DT lids|NNS and|CC add|VB shampoo|NN .|. 
3|CD .|. Find|VBP and|CC soothe|VB cat|NN as|IN you|PRP carry|VBP him|PRP to|TO the|DT bathroom|NN .|. 
4|CD .|. In|IN one|CD swift|JJ move|NN ,|, place|NN cat|NN in|IN toilet|NN ,|, close|VBP both|DT lids|NNS and|CC stand|VB on|IN top|JJ so|IN cat|NN can|MD not|RB escape|VB .|. 
5|CD .|. The|DT cat|NN will|MD self|NN agitate|NN and|CC produce|VB ample|JJ suds|NNS .|. 
(|( Ignore|VB ruckus|JJ from|IN inside|IN toilet|NN .|. 
Cat|NNP is|VBZ actually|RB enjoying|VBG this|DT )|) .|. 
6|CD .|. Flush|JJ 3|CD or|CC 4|CD times|NNS ,|, this|DT provides|VBZ power|NN rinse|NN which|WDT is|VBZ quite|RB effective|JJ .|. 
7|CD .|. Have|VBP someone|NN open|JJ outside|JJ door|NN ,|, stand|VB as|RB far|RB from|IN toilet|NN as|IN possible|JJ and|CC quickly|RB lift|VB both|DT lids|NNS .|. 
8|CD .|. Clean|NNP cat|NN will|MD rocket|NN out|IN of|IN the|DT toilet|NN and|CC outdoors|RB ,|, where|WRB he|PRP will|MD air|VB dry|JJ .|. 
Sincerely|NNP ,|, The|DT Dog|NNP 

New|NNP Arrivals|NNP One|CD day|NN a|DT Pope|NNP and|CC a|DT lawyer|NN died|VBD and|CC went|VBD to|TO heaven|NN .|. 
God|NNP came|VBD and|CC said|VBD ,|, "|'' Follow|VB me|PRP and|CC I|PRP will|MD give|VB you|PRP your|PRP$ rooms|NNS .|. "|'' 
So|IN they|PRP both|DT followed|VBN .|. 
First|CD God|NNP gave|VBD the|DT Pope|NNP his|PRP$ room|NN ;|: it|PRP was|VBD very|RB small|JJ with|IN a|DT small|JJ bed|NN and|CC a|DT small|JJ desk|NN .|. 
"|'' Thank|VB you|PRP ,|, thank|VB you|PRP my|PRP$ lord|NN ,|, "|'' said|VBD The|DT Pope|NNP .|. 
Then|RB God|NNP gave|VBD the|DT lawyer|NN his|PRP$ room|NN ;|: it|PRP was|VBD big|JJ room|NN with|IN a|DT big|JJ bed|NN and|CC a|DT big|JJ deck|NN with|IN a|DT pool|NN and|CC a|DT pretty|JJ woman|NN .|. 
"|'' Mr.|NN God|NNP ,|, why|WRB are|VBP you|PRP giving|VBG this|DT room|NN to|TO me|PRP and|CC the|DT other|JJ little|JJ one|CD to|TO The|DT Pope|NNP ?|. "|'' the|DT lawyer|NN asked|VBD .|. 
"|'' Well|RB ,|, popes|NNS we|PRP get|VBP regular|JJ as|IN clockwork|NN ,|, but|CC you|PRP 're|VBP our|PRP$ first|JJ lawyer|NN .|. "|'' 

Prezackly|NNP !|. A|DT Zen|NNP master|NN once|RB said|VBD to|TO me|PRP ,|, "|'' Do|VBP the|DT opposite|NN of|IN whatever|WDT I|PRP tell|VBP you|PRP .|. "|'' 
So|IN I|PRP did|VBD n't|RB .|. 
--|: Unknown|JJ 
"|'' My|PRP$ doctor|NN tells|VBZ me|PRP I|PRP suffer|VBP from|IN extreme|JJ hypochondria|NN .|. 
He|PRP prescribed|VBN a|DT strong|JJ placebo|NN ,|, but|CC I|PRP do|VBP n't|RB think|VB it|PRP 's|VBZ working|VBG .|. "|'' 
-|: Fred|NNP Marcum|NNP 
"|'' The|DT sooner|RBR you|PRP fall|VBP behind|IN ,|, the|DT more|JJR time|NN you|PRP 'll|MD have|VB to|TO catch|VB up|RP .|. "|'' 
--|: Unknown|JJ 

You|PRP Gotta|NNP be|VB Quick|NNP A|DT New|NNP Yorker|NNP was|VBD being|VBG shown|VBN around|IN the|DT back|NN country|NN of|IN Louisiana|NNP by|IN his|PRP$ cousin|NN .|. 
"|'' Is|VBZ it|PRP true|JJ that|IN an|DT alligator|NN wo|MD n't|RB attack|VB you|PRP if|IN you|PRP carry|VBP a|DT flashlight|NN ?|. "|'' he|PRP asked|VBD .|. 
The|DT cousin|NN smirked|JJ ,|, "|'' Well|RB thatall|NN depends|VBZ on|IN how|WRB fast|RB ya|PRP carry|VBP it|PRP .|. "|'' 

Home|NNP on|IN the|DT Range|NNP Two|CD buffalo|NN were|VBD standing|VBG on|IN the|DT range|NN when|WRB a|DT passing|VBG tourist|NN said|VBD ,|, "|'' Those|DT are|VBP the|DT mangiest|NN ,|, scroungiest|NN ,|, most|RBS moth-eaten|JJ ,|, miserable|JJ beasts|NNS I|PRP have|VBP ever|RB seen|VBN .|. "|'' 
One|CD of|IN the|DT buffalo|NN turned|VBD to|TO the|DT other|JJ and|CC said|VBD ,|, "|'' You|PRP know|VBP ,|, I|PRP think|VBP I|PRP just|RB heard|VBD a|DT discouraging|VBG word|NN .|. "|'' 

Fast|NNP Thinking|NNP A|DT wild|JJ dog|NN is|VBZ running|VBG through|IN the|DT jungle|NN .|. 
While|IN wandering|VBG about|IN he|PRP notices|NNS a|DT leopard|NN heading|VBG in|IN his|PRP$ direction|NN with|IN the|DT intention|NN of|IN having|VBG lunch|NN .|. 
The|DT dog|NN thinks|VBZ ,|, "|'' Boy|NNP ,|, now|RB I|PRP 'm|VBP in|IN deep|JJ trouble|NN .|. "|'' 
Then|RB he|PRP sees|VBZ some|DT bones|NNS on|IN the|DT ground|NN close|NN by|RB ,|, and|CC immediately|RB settles|VBZ down|RB to|TO chew|VB on|IN the|DT remains|NNS with|IN his|PRP$ back|RB to|TO the|DT approaching|VBG cat|NN .|. 
Just|RB as|IN the|DT leopard|NN is|VBZ about|IN to|TO leap|VB ,|, the|DT dog|NN exclaims|VBZ loudly|RB ,|, "|'' Hey|NNP ,|, that|WDT was|VBD one|CD delicious|JJ leopard|NN .|. 
I|PRP wonder|VBP if|IN there|EX are|VBP any|DT more|RBR like|IN that|DT around|IN here|RB ?|. "|'' 
Hearing|VBG this|DT the|DT leopard|NN halts|VBZ his|PRP$ attack|NN in|IN mid|JJ stride|NN ,|, and|CC he|PRP slinks|NNS away|RB into|IN the|DT trees|NNS .|. 
"|'' Whew|NNP "|'' ,|, says|VBZ the|DT leopard|NN .|. 
"|'' That|DT was|JJ close|NN .|. 
That|DT dog|NN could|MD 've|VB nearly|RB had|VBN me|PRP .|. "|'' 
Meanwhile|RB ,|, a|DT monkey|NN who|WP had|VBD been|VBN watching|VBG all|PDT this|DT from|IN a|DT nearby|JJ tree|NN ,|, figures|NNS he|PRP can|MD put|VB this|DT knowledge|NN to|TO good|JJ use|NN and|CC trade|VB it|PRP for|IN protection|NN from|IN the|DT leopard|NN .|. 
So|RB ,|, he|PRP goes|VBZ chasing|VBG after|IN the|DT leopard|NN .|. 
But|CC the|DT dog|NN saw|VBD him|PRP heading|VBG after|IN the|DT leopard|NN with|IN great|JJ speed|NN ,|, and|CC figured|VBD that|DT something|NN must|MD be|VB up|RB .|. 
The|DT monkey|NN soon|RB catches|VBZ up|RP with|IN the|DT leopard|NN ,|, spills|VBZ the|DT beans|NNS and|CC strikes|VBZ a|DT deal|NN for|IN himself|PRP with|IN the|DT leopard|NN .|. 
The|DT cat|NN is|VBZ furious|JJ at|IN being|VBG made|VBD a|DT fool|NN of|IN and|CC says|VBZ ,|, "|'' Here|RB monkey|NN ,|, hop|NN on|IN my|PRP$ back|RB and|CC see|VB what|WP 's|VBZ going|VBG to|TO happen|VB to|TO that|DT smart|JJ aleck|NN dog|NN .|. "|'' 
Now|RB the|DT dog|NN sees|VBZ the|DT leopard|NN coming|VBG with|IN the|DT monkey|NN on|IN his|PRP$ back|RB ,|, and|CC thinks|VBZ ,|, "|'' What|WP am|VBP I|PRP going|VBG to|TO do|VB now|RB ?|. "|'' 
But|CC instead|RB of|IN running|VBG ,|, the|DT dog|NN sits|VBZ down|RB with|IN his|PRP$ back|RB to|TO his|PRP$ attackers|NNS pretending|VBG he|PRP has|VBZ n't|RB seen|VBN them|PRP yet|RB .|. 
And|CC just|RB when|WRB they|PRP get|VBP close|VB enough|RB to|TO hear|VB ,|, the|DT dog|NN says|VBZ ,|, "|'' Where|WRB 's|POS that|IN cheeky|JJ monkey|NN .|. 
I|PRP can|MD never|RB trust|VB him|PRP .|. 
I|PRP sent|VBD him|PRP off|IN half|PDT an|DT hour|NN ago|IN to|TO bring|VB me|PRP a|DT fresh|JJ leopard|NN ,|, and|CC he|PRP 's|VBZ still|RB not|RB back|RB !|. "|'' 

How|WRB it|PRP Pans|NNP Out|IN …|NN "|'' The|DT difference|NN between|IN involvement|NN and|CC commitment|NN is|VBZ like|IN a|DT ham|NN and|CC egg|NN breakfast|NN .|. 
The|DT chicken|NN was|VBD involved|VBN ,|, but|CC the|DT pig|NN was|VBD really|RB committed|VBN !|. "|'' 

High|NNP Strikes|NNS "|'' Opera|NNP is|VBZ when|WRB a|DT guy|NN gets|VBZ stabbed|VBN in|IN the|DT back|NN ,|, and|CC instead|RB of|IN bleeding|VBG ,|, he|PRP sings|VBZ .|. "|'' 
-|: Ed|NNP Gardner|NNP 

High|NNP Living|VBG A|DT man|NN goes|VBZ into|IN his|PRP$ local|JJ building|NN supply|NN store|NN and|CC orders|NNS 10,054|CD bricks|NNS .|. 
"|'' May|NNP I|PRP ask|VBP what|WP you|PRP 're|VBP building|NN ?|. "|'' asks|VBZ the|DT man|NN behind|IN the|DT counter|NN .|. 
"|'' It|PRP 's|VBZ going|VBG to|TO be|VB a|DT barbecue|NN .|. "|'' 
"|'' Wow|UH ,|, that|DT 's|VBZ a|DT lot|NN of|IN bricks|NNS for|IN one|CD barbecue|NN ,|, "|'' 
"|'' Not|RB really|RB ;|: 
I|PRP live|VBP on|IN the|DT 12th|JJ floor|NN .|. "|'' 

Word|NNP Pundit|NNP Says|VBZ ….|. 1|CD .|. Marathon|NNP runners|NNS with|IN bad|JJ footwear|NN suffer|VBP an|DT agony|NN of|IN defeat|NN .|. 
2|CD .|. What|WP 's|VBZ the|DT definition|NN of|IN a|DT will|MD ?|. 
(|( It|PRP 's|VBZ a|DT dead|JJ giveaway|NN )|) .|. 
3|CD .|. Time|NNP flies|VBZ like|IN an|DT arrow|NN .|. 
Fruit|NNP flies|VBZ like|IN a|DT banana|NN .|. 
4|CD .|. A|DT backwards|JJ poet|NN writes|VBZ inverse|NN .|. 
5|CD .|. In|IN democracy|NN it|PRP 's|VBZ your|PRP$ vote|NN that|WDT counts|VBZ .|. 
In|IN feudalism|NN it|PRP 's|VBZ your|PRP$ count|NN that|IN votes|NNS .|. 
6|CD .|. She|PRP had|VBD a|DT boyfriend|NN with|IN a|DT wooden|JJ leg|NN ,|, but|CC broke|VBD it|PRP off|RP .|. 
7|CD .|. A|DT chicken|NN crossing|VBG the|DT road|NN is|VBZ poultery|NN in|IN motion|NN .|. 
8|CD .|. If|IN you|PRP do|VBP n't|RB pay|VB your|PRP$ exorcist|NN you|PRP get|VBP repossessed|JJ .|. 
9|CD .|. With|IN her|PRP$ marriage|NN she|PRP got|VBD a|DT new|JJ name|NN and|CC a|DT dress|NN .|. 
10|CD .|. Show|NNP me|PRP a|DT piano|NN falling|VBG down|RP a|DT mineshaft|NN and|CC I|PRP 'll|MD show|VB you|PRP A-|NNP flat|JJ minor|NN .|. 
11|CD .|. When|WRB a|DT clock|NN is|VBZ hungry|JJ it|PRP goes|VBZ back|RB four|CD seconds|NNS .|. 
12|CD .|. The|DT man|NN who|WP fell|VBD into|IN an|DT upholstery|NN machine|NN is|VBZ fully|RB recovered|VBN .|. 
13|CD .|. A|DT bomb|NN in|IN a|DT French|JJ kitchen|NN would|MD result|VB in|IN Linoleum|NNP Blownapart|NNP .|. 
14|CD .|. You|PRP feel|VBP stuck|VBN with|IN your|PRP$ debt|NN if|IN you|PRP ca|MD n't|RB budge|VB it|PRP .|. 
15|CD .|. Local|NNP Area|NNP Network|NNP in|IN Australia|NNP :|: the|DT LAN|NNP down|RB under|IN .|. 
16|CD .|. He|PRP often|RB broke|VBD into|IN song|NN because|IN he|PRP could|MD n't|RB find|VB the|DT key|NN .|. 
17|CD .|. Every|DT calendar|NN 's|POS days|NNS are|VBP numbered|VBN .|. 
18|CD .|. A|DT lot|NN of|IN money|NN is|VBZ tainted|VBN .|. 
'|POS Taint|NNP yours|NNS and|CC '|POS taint|NN mine|NN .|. 
19|CD .|. A|DT boiled|JJ egg|NN in|IN the|DT morning|NN is|VBZ hard|JJ to|TO beat|VB .|. 
20|CD .|. He|PRP had|VBD a|DT photographic|JJ memory|NN but|CC it|PRP was|VBD never|RB developed|VBN .|. 
21|CD .|. A|DT plateau|NN is|VBZ a|DT high|JJ form|NN of|IN flattery|NN .|. 
22|CD .|. The|DT short|JJ fortuneteller|NN who|WP escaped|VBD from|IN prison|NN became|VBD a|DT small|JJ medium|NN at|IN large|JJ .|. 
23|CD .|. Those|DT who|WP get|VBP too|RB big|JJ for|IN their|PRP$ britches|NNS will|MD be|VB exposed|VBN in|IN the|DT end|NN .|. 
24|CD .|. Once|RB you|PRP 've|VBP seen|VBN one|CD shopping|NN center|NN you|PRP 've|VBP seen|VBN a|DT mall|NN .|. 
25|CD .|. Those|DT who|WP jump|VBP off|IN a|DT Paris|NNP bridge|NN are|VBP in|IN Seine|NNP .|. 
26|CD .|. When|WRB an|DT actress|NN saw|VBD her|PRP$ first|JJ strands|NNS of|IN grey|JJ hair|NN she|PRP thought|VBD she|PRP 'd|MD dye|NN .|. 
27|CD .|. Bakers|NNP trade|NN bread|NN recipes|NNS on|IN a|DT knead|NN to|TO know|VB basis|NN .|. 
28|CD .|. Santa|NNP 's|POS elves|NNS could|MD be|VB defined|VBN as|IN subordinate|JJ clauses|NNS .|. 

Take|VB a|DT Bough|NNP Question|NNP .|. 
"|'' If|IN trees|NNS could|MD scream|VB ,|, would|MD we|PRP be|VB quite|RB so|RB cavalier|JJ about|IN cutting|VBG them|PRP down|RB "|'' ?|. 
Answer|NNP .|. 
"|'' Well|RB if|IN they|PRP screamed|VBD all|PDT the|DT time|NN it|PRP would|MD definitely|RB make|VB life|NN a|DT lot|NN more|RBR comfortable|JJ to|TO cut|VB them|PRP all|DT down|JJ …|NN .|. "|'' 

"|'' Hey|NNP ,|, Lady|NNP …|NN "|'' A|DT lady|NN was|VBD walking|VBG past|JJ a|DT pet|NN store|NN when|WRB a|DT parrot|NN said|VBD ,|, '|'' '|POS Hey|NNP ,|, lady|NN !|. 
You|PRP 're|VBP really|RB ugly|JJ !|. "|'' 
She|PRP was|VBD understandably|RB furious|JJ and|CC continued|VBD on|IN her|PRP$ way|NN .|. 
On|IN the|DT way|NN home|NN ,|, she|PRP passed|VBN by|IN the|DT pet|NN store|NN again|RB and|CC the|DT parrot|NN once|RB more|JJR said|VBD "|'' Hey|NNP ,|, lady|NN !|. 
You|PRP 're|VBP really|RB ugly|JJ !|. "|'' 
She|PRP was|VBD really|RB ticked|VBN by|IN now|RB ,|, so|IN she|PRP went|VBD into|IN the|DT store|NN and|CC said|VBD that|IN she|PRP would|MD sue|VB the|DT store|NN owner|NN and|CC strangle|NN the|DT bird|NN .|. 
The|DT store|NN manager|NN apologized|VBD profusely|RB and|CC promised|VBD he|PRP would|MD make|VB sure|JJ the|DT parrot|NN did|VBD n't|RB say|VB it|PRP again|RB .|. 
The|DT next|JJ day|NN ,|, she|PRP deliberately|RB passed|VBN by|IN the|DT store|NN to|TO test|VB the|DT parrot|NN .|. 
"|'' Hey|NNP ,|, lady|NN !|. "|'' it|PRP said|VBD .|. 
"|'' Yes|UH ?|. "|'' 
"|'' You|PRP know|VBP .|. "|'' 

Reality|NN Check|VB A|DT student|NN comes|VBZ to|TO a|DT young|JJ professor|NN 's|POS office|NN after|IN hours|NNS .|. 
She|PRP glances|NNS down|RP the|DT hall|NN ,|, closes|VBZ his|PRP$ door|NN ,|, and|CC kneels|NNS pleadingly|RB .|. 
"|'' I|PRP would|MD do|VB anything|NN to|TO pass|VB this|DT exam|NN .|. "|'' 
She|PRP leans|VBZ closer|JJR to|TO him|PRP ,|, flips|VBZ back|RP her|PRP$ hair|NN ,|, gazes|NNS meaningfully|RB into|IN his|PRP$ eyes|NNS .|. 
"|'' I|PRP mean|VBP ...|... "|'' ,|, she|PRP whispers|NNS ,|, "|'' ...|... I|PRP would|MD do|VB ...|... ANYTHING|NNP .|. "|'' 
He|PRP returns|VBZ her|PRP$ gaze|VBP .|. 
"|'' Anything|NN ?|. "|'' 
"|'' *|NN Anything|NN *|NN .|. "|'' 
His|PRP$ voice|NN softens|VBZ .|. 
"|'' Anything|NN ?|. "|'' 
"|'' Anything|NN .|. "|'' 
His|PRP$ voice|NN turns|VBZ to|TO a|DT husky|JJ whisper|NN .|. 
"|'' Would|MD you|PRP ...........|. study|NN ?|. "|'' 

Spectacular|NNP Job|NNP One|CD day|NN a|DT man|NN spotted|VBD a|DT lamp|NN by|IN the|DT roadside|NN .|. 
He|PRP picked|VBD it|PRP up|RP ,|, rubbed|VBD it|PRP vigorously|RB ,|, and|CC a|DT genie|NN appeared|VBD .|. 
"|'' I|PRP 'll|MD grant|VB you|PRP your|PRP$ fondest|JJS wish|VBP ,|, "|'' the|DT genie|NN said|VBD .|. 
The|DT man|NN thought|VBD for|IN a|DT moment|NN ,|, then|RB said|VBD ,|, "|'' I|PRP want|VBP a|DT spectacular|JJ job|NN --|: a|DT job|NN that|IN no|DT man|NN has|VBZ ever|RB succeeded|VBN at|IN or|CC has|VBZ ever|RB even|RB dared|VBD try|VB .|. "|'' 
"|'' That|DT 's|VBZ easy|JJ "|'' ,|, said|VBD the|DT genie|NN .|. 
"|'' Poof|NNP !|. 
You|PRP 're|VBP a|DT housewife|NN .|. "|'' 

Wisdom|NNP from|IN the|DT Top|JJ "|'' It|PRP 's|VBZ not|RB me|PRP who|WP ca|MD n't|RB keep|VB a|DT secret|JJ it|PRP 's|VBZ the|DT people|NNS I|PRP tell|VBP that|WDT ca|MD n't|RB .|. "|'' 
-|: Lincoln|NNP 
"|'' I|PRP have|VBP found|VBN the|DT best|JJS way|NN to|TO give|VB advice|NN to|TO your|PRP$ children|NNS is|VBZ to|TO find|VB out|IN what|WP they|PRP want|VBP and|CC then|RB advise|VB them|PRP to|TO do|VB that|DT .|. "|'' 
-|: Truman|NNP 
"|'' There|EX 's|VBZ one|CD thing|NN about|IN being|VBG a|DT president|NN -|: nobody|NN can|MD tell|VB you|PRP when|WRB to|TO sit|VB down|RB .|. "|'' 
-|: Eisenhower|NNP 
"|'' Things|NNS are|VBP more|RBR like|IN they|PRP are|VBP now|RB than|IN they|PRP have|VBP ever|RB been|VBN before|RB .|. "|'' 
-|: Eisenhower|NNP 

Dead|NNP Horse|NNP The|DT tribal|NN wisdom|NN of|IN the|DT North|JJ American|NNP Indians|NNPS ,|, passed|VBN on|IN from|IN one|CD generation|NN to|TO the|DT next|JJ ,|, says|VBZ that|IN when|WRB you|PRP discover|VBP that|IN you|PRP are|VBP riding|VBG a|DT dead|JJ horse|NN ,|, the|DT best|JJS strategy|NN is|VBZ to|TO dismount|NN .|. 
But|CC in|IN modern|JJ management|NN (|( and|CC organisations|NNS and|CC government|NN )|) ;|: because|IN of|IN the|DT heavy|JJ investment|NN of|IN time|NN ,|, money|NN and|CC energy|NN which|WDT has|VBZ gone|VBN into|IN the|DT establishment|NN and|CC maintenance|NN of|IN these|DT critters|NNS ;|: other|JJ strategies|NNS are|VBP often|RB tried|VBN with|IN these|DT dead|JJ horses|NNS ,|, including|VBG the|DT following|NN :|: 
1|CD .|. Buying|VBG a|DT bigger|JJR ,|, stronger|JJR whip|NN .|. 
2|CD .|. Changing|VBG riders|NNS .|. 
3|CD .|. Threatening|NNP the|DT horse|NN with|IN termination|NN .|. 
4|CD .|. Appointing|NNP various|JJ committees|NNS to|TO study|VB the|DT horse|NN .|. 
5|CD .|. Arranging|NNP to|TO visit|VB other|JJ sites|NNS to|TO see|VB how|WRB they|PRP ride|VBP dead|JJ horses|NNS .|. 
6|CD .|. Lowering|NNP the|DT standards|NNS so|IN that|IN dead|JJ horses|NNS can|MD be|VB included|VBN .|. 
7|CD .|. Reclassifying|NNP the|DT dead|JJ horse|NN as|IN "|'' living-impaired|JJ .|. "|'' 
8|CD .|. Hiring|NNP outside|JJ contractors|NNS to|TO ride|VB the|DT dead|JJ horse|NN .|. 
9|CD .|. Harnessing|NNP two|CD or|CC more|RBR dead|JJ horses|NNS together|RB to|TO increase|VB speed|NN .|. 
10|CD .|. Providing|NNP additional|JJ funding|NN and|CC /|NN or|CC training|NN to|TO increase|VB the|DT dead|JJ horse|NN 's|POS performance|NN .|. 
11|CD .|. Doing|VBG a|DT productivity|NN study|NN to|TO see|VB if|IN lighter|JJR riders|NNS would|MD improve|VB the|DT dead|JJ horse|NN 's|POS performance|NN .|. 
12|CD .|. Declaring|VBG that|IN the|DT dead|JJ horse|NN carries|VBZ lower|JJR overhead|NN and|CC therefore|RB contributes|VBZ more|JJR to|TO the|DT bottom|JJ line|NN then|RB younger|JJR ,|, more|RBR vigorous|JJ horses|NNS .|. 
13|CD .|. Rewriting|NNP the|DT expected|JJ performance|NN requirements|NNS for|IN all|DT horses|NNS .|. 
And|CC ,|, as|IN a|DT final|JJ strategy|NN :|: 
14|CD .|. Promoting|NNP the|DT dead|JJ horse|NN to|TO a|DT supervisory|JJ position|NN .|. 

