Going|VBG Down|IN There|EX were|VBD these|DT two|CD guys|NNS out|IN hiking|NN when|WRB they|PRP came|VBD upon|IN an|DT old|JJ ,|, abandoned|VBN mineshaft|NN .|. 
Curious|NNP about|IN its|PRP$ depth|NN they|PRP threw|VBD in|IN a|DT pebble|JJ and|CC waited|VBD for|IN the|DT sound|NN of|IN it|PRP striking|VBG the|DT bottom|NN ,|, but|CC they|PRP heard|VBD nothing|NN .|. 
They|PRP went|VBD and|CC got|VBD a|DT bigger|JJR rock|NN ,|, threw|VBD it|PRP in|IN and|CC waited|VBD .|. 
Still|RB nothing|NN .|. 
They|PRP searched|VBD the|DT area|NN for|IN something|NN larger|JJR and|CC came|VBD upon|IN a|DT railroad|NN tie|NN .|. 
With|IN great|JJ difficulty|NN ,|, the|DT two|CD men|NNS carried|VBD it|PRP to|TO the|DT opening|NN and|CC threw|VBD it|PRP in|IN .|. 
While|IN waiting|VBG for|IN it|PRP to|TO hit|VB bottom|NN ,|, a|DT goat|NN suddenly|RB darted|JJ between|IN them|PRP and|CC leapt|VBD into|IN the|DT hole|NN !|. 
The|DT guys|NNS were|VBD still|RB standing|NN there|RB with|IN astonished|JJ looks|NNS upon|IN their|PRP$ faces|NNS from|IN the|DT actions|NNS of|IN the|DT goat|NN when|WRB a|DT man|NN walked|VBD up|IN to|TO them|PRP .|. 
He|PRP asked|VBD them|PRP if|IN they|PRP had|VBD seen|VBN a|DT goat|NN anywhere|RB in|IN the|DT area|NN and|CC they|PRP said|VBD that|IN one|CD had|VBD just|RB jumped|VBN into|IN the|DT mineshaft|NN in|IN front|NN of|IN them|PRP !|. 
The|DT man|NN replied|VBD ,|, "|'' Oh|UH no|UH .|. 
That|DT could|MD n't|RB be|VB MY|NNP goat|NN ,|, my|PRP$ goat|NN was|VBD tied|VBN to|TO a|DT railroad|NN tie|NN .|. "|'' 

ARGUMENTS|NNP A|DT woman|NN has|VBZ the|DT last|JJ word|NN in|IN any|DT argument|NN .|. 
Anything|NN a|DT man|NN says|VBZ after|IN that|DT is|VBZ the|DT beginning|NN of|IN a|DT new|JJ argument|NN .|. 

SUCCESS|NNP A|DT successful|JJ man|NN is|VBZ one|CD who|WP makes|VBZ more|JJR money|NN than|IN his|PRP$ wife|NN can|MD spend|VB .|. 
A|DT successful|JJ woman|NN is|VBZ one|CD who|WP has|VBZ found|VBN such|JJ a|DT man|NN .|. 

Oral|NNP Cure|NNP "|'' I|PRP finally|RB quit|VBD smoking|VBG by|IN using|VBG the|DT patch|NN .|. 
I|PRP stuck|VBD the|DT darn|NN thing|NN over|IN my|PRP$ mouth|NN .|. "|'' 
--|: Wendy|NNP Liebman|NNP 
Perpetual|JJ Motion|NNP When|WRB a|DT cat|NN is|VBZ dropped|VBN ,|, it|PRP always|RB lands|NNS on|IN its|PRP$ feet|NNS ,|, and|CC when|WRB toast|NN is|VBZ dropped|VBN ,|, it|PRP always|RB lands|NNS buttered|JJ side|NN down|RB .|. 
It|PRP has|VBZ been|VBN proposed|VBN to|TO strap|NN giant|NN slabs|NNS of|IN hot|JJ buttered|JJ toast|NN to|TO the|DT backs|NNS of|IN hundreds|NNS of|IN tethered|JJ cats|NNS ;|: the|DT two|CD opposing|VBG forces|NNS will|MD cause|VB the|DT cats|NNS to|TO hover|NN ,|, spinning|JJ inches|NNS above|IN the|DT ground|NN .|. 
Using|VBG the|DT power|NN generated|VBN by|IN this|DT giant|NN buttered|JJ toast-cat|JJ array|NN ,|, a|DT high-speed|JJ monorail|NN could|MD easily|RB link|VB New|NNP York|NNP with|IN Chicago|NNP .|. 

Pardon|NNP Me|PRP ?|. A|DT man|NN goes|VBZ into|IN a|DT drug|NN store|NN and|CC asks|VBZ the|DT pharmacist|NN if|IN he|PRP can|MD give|VB him|PRP something|NN to|TO stop|VB hiccups|NNS .|. 
The|DT pharmacist|NN promptly|RB reaches|VBZ out|IN and|CC slaps|VBZ the|DT man|NN 's|POS face|NN .|. 
(|( Whack|NNP !|. )|) 
"|'' What|WP did|VBD you|PRP do|VB that|DT for|RP ?|. "|'' the|DT man|NN asks|VBZ .|. 
"|'' Well|RB ,|, you|PRP do|VBP n't|RB have|VB the|DT hiccups|NNS any|DT more|JJR ,|, do|VBP you|PRP ?|. "|'' 
The|DT man|NN says|VBZ ,|, "|'' Maybe|RB not|RB ,|, but|CC my|PRP$ missus|JJ out|IN there|RB in|IN the|DT car|NN still|RB does|VBZ !|. "|'' 

Obsolescence|NNP "|'' You|PRP know|VBP you|PRP 're|VBP old|JJ when|WRB they|PRP 've|VBP discontinued|VBN your|PRP$ blood|NN type|NN .|. "|'' 
--|: Phyllis|NNP Diller|NNP 

Proof|NNP A|DT husband|NN said|VBD to|TO his|PRP$ wife|NN ,|, "|'' No|DT ,|, of|IN course|NN I|PRP do|VBP n't|RB hate|VB your|PRP$ relatives|NNS .|. 
In|IN actual|JJ fact|NN ,|, I|PRP like|VBP your|PRP$ mother-in-law|NN a|DT whole|JJ lot|NN better|JJR than|IN I|PRP like|VBP mine|NN .|. "|'' 

Pearly|NNP Whites|NNP A|DT tourist|NN was|VBD admiring|VBG the|DT necklace|NN worn|VBN by|IN a|DT local|JJ Indian|JJ .|. 
"|'' What|WP is|VBZ it|PRP made|VBD of|RP ?|. "|'' she|PRP asked|VBD .|. 
"|'' Alligator|NNP 's|POS teeth|NNS ,|, "|'' the|DT Indian|JJ replied|VBD .|. 
"|'' I|PRP suppose|VBP ,|, "|'' she|PRP said|VBD patronizingly|RB ,|, "|'' that|IN they|PRP mean|VBP as|IN much|JJ to|TO you|PRP as|IN pearls|NNS do|VBP to|TO us|PRP .|. "|'' 
"|'' Oh|UH no|DT ,|, "|'' he|PRP objected|VBD .|. 
"|'' Any|DT fool|NN can|MD open|VB an|DT oyster|NN .|. "|'' 

No|NNP '|POS Gators|NNP Here|RB While|IN sports|NNS fishing|NN off|IN the|DT Florida|NNP coast|NN ,|, a|DT tourist|NN capsized|JJ his|PRP$ boat|NN .|. 
He|PRP could|MD swim|VBP ,|, but|CC his|PRP$ fear|NN of|IN alligators|NNS kept|VBD him|PRP clinging|VBG to|TO the|DT overturned|JJ craft|NN .|. 
Spotting|NNP an|DT old|JJ beachcomber|NN standing|NN on|IN the|DT shore|NN ,|, the|DT tourist|NN shouted|VBD ,|, "|'' are|VBP there|EX any|DT '|POS gators|NNS around|IN here|RB ?|. !|. "|'' 
"|'' Naw|NNP ,|, "|'' the|DT man|NN hollered|JJ back|RB ,|, "|'' Ai|NNP n't|RB been|VBN any|DT for|IN years|NNS !|. "|'' 
Feeling|VBG safe|JJ ,|, the|DT tourist|NN started|VBD swimming|VBG toward|IN the|DT shore|NN .|. 
As|IN he|PRP got|VBD closer|JJR to|TO shore|VB he|PRP shouted|VBD to|TO the|DT guy|NN again|RB "|'' What|WP did|VBD you|PRP do|VB to|TO get|VB rid|JJ of|IN the|NNP '|POS gators|NNS ?|. "|'' 
"|'' We|PRP did|VBD n't|RB do|VB nothin|NN '|'' ,|, "|'' the|DT beachcomber|NN said|VBD .|. 
"|'' The|DT sharks|NNS got|VBD 'em|PRP all|DT .|. "|'' 

Many|JJ Happy|NNP Returns|NNS ?|. A|DT man|NN entered|VBD a|DT stationery|NN store|NN and|CC asked|VBD the|DT clerk|NN for|IN a|DT birthday|NN /|NN anniversary|NN card|NN .|. 
The|DT clerk|NN replied|VBD ,|, "|'' We|PRP have|VBP birthday|NN cards|NNS and|CC we|PRP have|VBP anniversary|NN cards|NNS .|. Why|WRB not|RB take|VB one|CD of|IN each|DT ?|. "|'' 
The|DT man|NN said|VBD ,|, "|'' You|PRP do|VBP n't|RB understand|VB .|. I|PRP need|VBP a|DT card|NN that|WDT covers|VBZ BOTH|DT events|NNS !|. You|PRP see|VBP ,|, we|PRP 're|VBP celebrating|VBG the|DT fifth|JJ anniversary|NN of|IN my|PRP$ wife|NN 's|POS thirty-ninth|JJ birthday|NN ...|... "|'' 

Signs|NNS Over|IN a|DT gynecologist|NN 's|POS office|NN :|: "|'' Dr.|NN Jones|NNP ,|, at|IN your|PRP$ cervix|NN .|. "|'' 
On|IN a|DT plumber|NN 's|POS truck|NN :|: "|'' We|PRP repair|VBP what|WP your|PRP$ husband|NN fixed|VBN .|. "|'' 
On|IN the|DT trucks|NNS of|IN a|DT local|JJ plumbing|NN company|NN in|IN NE|NNP Pennsylvania|NNP :|: "|'' Do|VBP n't|RB sleep|VB with|IN a|DT drip|NN .|. 
Call|VB your|PRP$ plumber|NN .|. "|'' 
Pizza|NNP shop|NN slogan|NN :|: "|'' 7|CD days|NNS without|IN pizza|NN makes|VBZ one|CD weak|JJ .|. "|'' 
Outside|IN a|DT muffler|NN shop|NN :|: "|'' No|DT appointment|NN necessary|JJ .|. 
We|PRP hear|VBP you|PRP coming|VBG .|. "|'' 
In|IN a|DT veterinarian|NN 's|POS waiting|VBG room|NN :|: "|'' Be|VB back|RB in|IN 5|CD minutes|NNS .|. 
Sit|NNP !|. 
Stay|NNP !|. "|'' 
Door|NNP of|IN a|DT plastic|NN surgeon|NN 's|POS office|NN :|: "|'' We|PRP can|MD help|VB you|PRP pick|VB your|PRP$ nose|NN !|. "|'' 
On|IN an|DT electrician|NN 's|POS truck|NN :|: "|'' Let|VB us|PRP remove|VB your|PRP$ shorts|NNS .|. "|'' 
In|IN a|DT non-smoking|JJ area|NN :|: "|'' If|IN we|PRP see|VBP smoke|NN ,|, we|PRP will|MD assume|VB you|PRP are|VBP on|IN fire|NN and|CC take|VB appropriate|JJ action|NN .|. "|'' 
On|IN a|DT maternity|NN room|NN door|NN :|: "|'' Push|VBP .|. 
Push|VBP .|. 
Push|VBP .|. "|'' 

Holy|NNP Moses|NNP …..|. "|'' Somebody|NN recently|RB figured|VBD out|RP that|IN we|PRP have|VBP enacted|VBN more|JJR than|IN 35|CD million|CD laws|NNS just|RB to|TO enforce|VB the|DT Ten|CD Commandments|NNP .|. "|'' 
--|: Bert|NNP Masterson|NNP 

Pistol|NNP Packing|NNP Momma|NNP !|. When|WRB my|PRP$ three-year-old|JJ son|NN opened|VBD the|DT birthday|NN gift|NN from|IN his|PRP$ grandmother|NN and|CC found|VBD a|DT water|NN pistol|NN .|. 
He|PRP squealed|JJ with|IN delight|NN and|CC headed|VBN for|IN the|DT nearest|JJS sink|NN .|. 
I|PRP was|VBD not|RB so|RB pleased|JJ .|. 
I|PRP turned|VBD to|TO Mom|NN and|CC said|VBD ,|, "|'' I|PRP 'm|VBP surprised|VBN at|IN you|PRP .|. 
Do|VBP n't|RB you|PRP remember|VBP how|WRB we|PRP used|VBD to|TO drive|VB you|PRP crazy|JJ with|IN water|NN guns|NNS ?|. "|'' 
Mom|NN grinned|JJ and|CC replied|VBD ,|, "|'' Yep|NNP ,|, I|PRP remember|VBP .|. "|'' 

Please|VB Press|NNP The|DT Hash|NNP Key|NNP "|'' For|IN a|DT list|NN of|IN all|PDT the|DT ways|NNS technology|NN has|VBZ failed|VBN to|TO improve|VB the|DT quality|NN of|IN life|NN ,|, please|VB press|NN 3|CD .|. "|'' 
--|: Alice|NNP Kahn|NNP 

The|DT Ring|NNP of|IN Truth|NNP My|PRP$ next-door|JJ neighbor|NN and|CC I|PRP frequently|RB borrow|VBP things|NNS from|IN each|DT other|JJ .|. 
Not|RB long|RB ago|RB ,|, when|WRB I|PRP requested|VBD his|PRP$ ladder|NN ,|, he|PRP told|VBD me|PRP he|PRP had|VBD lent|VBN it|PRP to|TO his|PRP$ son|NN .|. 
Recalling|NNP a|DT saying|VBG my|PRP$ grandmother|NN used|VBN to|TO repeat|VB ,|, I|PRP recited|JJ ,|, "|'' You|PRP should|MD never|RB lend|VB anything|NN to|TO your|PRP$ kids|NNS ,|, because|IN you|PRP will|MD never|RB get|VB it|PRP back|RB .|. "|'' 
With|IN that|DT ,|, he|PRP responded|VBD ,|, "|'' Ai|NNP n't|RB that|IN the|DT truth|NN ,|, it|PRP 's|VBZ not|RB even|RB my|PRP$ ladder|NN .|. 
It|PRP 's|VBZ my|PRP$ dad|NN 's|POS .|. "|'' 

Not|RB Strait|NNP Laced|NNP I|PRP was|VBD sitting|VBG on|IN the|DT sofa|NN with|IN my|PRP$ teenage|JJ son|NN ,|, discussing|VBG his|PRP$ day|NN at|IN school|NN .|. 
"|'' Mom|NN ,|, "|'' he|PRP said|VBD ,|, "|'' there|EX 's|VBZ going|VBG to|TO be|VB a|DT dance|NN at|IN the|DT school|NN this|DT Friday|NNP and|CC it|PRP 's|VBZ going|VBG to|TO be|VB formal|JJ .|. 
So|RB ,|, could|MD I|PRP get|VB a|DT new|JJ pair|NN of|IN sneakers|NNS ?|. "|'' 

More|JJR of|IN life|NN 's|POS mysteries|NNS !|. Why|WRB do|VBP n't|RB you|PRP ever|RB see|VBP the|DT headline|NN "|'' Psychic|NNP Wins|NNP Lottery|NNP "|'' ?|. 
Why|WRB does|VBZ the|DT sun|NN lighten|VB our|PRP$ hair|NN ,|, but|CC darken|NN our|PRP$ skin|NN ?|. 
Why|WRB does|VBZ n't|RB glue|NN stick|NN to|TO the|DT inside|JJ of|IN the|DT bottle|NN ?|. 
Why|WRB is|VBZ "|'' abbreviated|JJ "|'' such|JJ a|DT long|JJ word|NN ?|. 
Why|WRB is|VBZ a|DT boxing|VBG ring|NN square|JJ ?|. 
Why|WRB is|VBZ it|PRP called|VBD lipstick|NN if|IN you|PRP can|MD still|RB move|VB your|PRP$ lips|NNS ?|. 
Why|WRB is|VBZ it|PRP considered|VBN necessary|JJ to|TO firmly|RB nail|VB down|RP the|DT lid|NN of|IN a|DT coffin|NN ?|. 
Why|WRB is|VBZ it|PRP that|IN rain|NN drops|NNS but|CC snow|NN falls|VBZ ?|. 
Why|WRB is|VBZ it|PRP that|IN to|TO stop|VB Windows|NNP 95|CD ,|, 98|CD ,|, 2000|CD and|CC NT|NNP ,|, you|PRP have|VBP to|TO click|NN on|IN "|'' Start|NNP "|'' ?|. 
Why|WRB is|VBZ the|DT man|NN who|WP invests|VBZ all|DT your|PRP$ money|NN called|VBD a|DT broker|NN ?|. 
Why|WRB is|VBZ the|DT time|NN of|IN day|NN with|IN the|DT slowest|JJS traffic|NN called|VBD rush|NN hour|NN ?|. 
Why|WRB is|VBZ the|DT word|NN dictionary|JJ in|IN the|DT dictionary|JJ ?|. 
Why|WRB is|VBZ n't|RB there|EX a|DT special|JJ name|NN for|IN the|DT tops|NNS of|IN your|PRP$ feet|NNS ?|. 
Can|MD a|DT stupid|JJ person|NN be|VBP a|DT smart-ass|JJ ?|. 
Can|MD fat|JJ people|NNS go|VB skinny-dipping|JJ ?|. 

Insex|NNP I|PRP stopped|VBD at|IN a|DT friends|NNS house|VBP the|DT other|JJ day|NN and|CC found|VBD him|PRP stalking|VBG around|IN with|IN a|DT flyswatter|NN .|. 
When|WRB I|PRP asked|VBD if|IN he|PRP had|VBD gotten|VBN any|DT flies|NNS ,|, he|PRP answered|VBD ,|, "|'' Yeah|UH ,|, 3|CD males|NNS and|CC 2|CD females|NNS .|. "|'' 
Curious|NNP ,|, I|PRP inquired|VBD as|IN to|TO how|WRB he|PRP could|MD tell|VB the|DT difference|NN .|. 
He|PRP answered|VBD ,|, "|'' 3|CD were|VBD on|IN a|DT beer|NN can|MD and|CC 2|CD were|VBD on|IN the|DT phone|NN .|. "|'' 

Hare|NNP Hare|NNP A|DT young|JJ man|NN was|VBD something|NN of|IN a|DT slacker|NN and|CC found|VBD it|PRP difficult|JJ to|TO hold|VB down|RP a|DT job|NN .|. 
After|IN a|DT visit|NN to|TO the|DT employment|NN office|NN ,|, he|PRP was|VBD offered|VBN work|NN at|IN the|DT local|JJ zoo|NN .|. 
When|WRB he|PRP arrived|VBD for|IN his|PRP$ first|JJ day|NN ,|, the|DT keeper|NN ,|, aware|JJ of|IN his|PRP$ reputation|NN ,|, told|VBD him|PRP to|TO take|VB care|NN of|IN the|DT tortoise|NN section|NN .|. 
Later|RB ,|, the|DT keeper|NN dropped|VBN by|IN to|TO see|VB how|WRB the|DT young|JJ man|NN was|VBD doing|VBG and|CC found|VBD him|PRP standing|NN by|IN an|DT empty|JJ enclosure|NN with|IN the|DT gate|NN open|JJ .|. 
"|'' Where|WRB are|VBP the|DT tortoises|NNS ?|. "|'' he|PRP asked|VBD .|. 
"|'' I|PRP ca|MD n't|RB believe|VB it|PRP ,|, "|'' said|VBD the|DT new|JJ employee|NN ,|, "|'' I|PRP just|RB opened|VBD the|DT door|NN and|CC whooosh|JJ ,|, they|PRP were|VBD gone|VBN !|. "|'' 

Menu|NNP Fodder|NNP Yogurt|NNP :|: Semi-solid|NNP dairy|NN product|NN made|VBN from|IN partially|RB evaporated|VBD and|CC fermented|JJ milk|NN .|. 
Yogurt|NNP is|VBZ one|CD of|IN only|RB three|CD foods|NNS that|WDT taste|NN exactly|RB the|DT same|JJ as|IN they|PRP sound|VBP .|. 
The|DT other|JJ two|CD are|VBP goulash|NN and|CC squid|NN .|. 
Ask|VB and|CC you|PRP shall|MD receive|VB ……|. All|DT my|PRP$ life|NN I|PRP said|VBD I|PRP wanted|VBD to|TO be|VB somebody|NN ...|... 
I|PRP can|MD see|VB now|RB that|IN I|PRP should|MD have|VB been|VBN more|RBR specific|JJ .|. 

Lots|NNS of|IN Bottle|NNP needed|VBD here|RB The|DT Boy|NNP Scouts|NNP were|VBD out|IN collecting|VBG bottles|NNS for|IN a|DT fund|NN raising|VBG activity|NN .|. 
One|CD ambitious|JJ young|JJ man|NN knocked|VBD on|IN a|DT door|NN and|CC a|DT sour-faced|JJ ,|, older|JJR lady|NN came|VBD to|TO the|DT door|NN and|CC barked|JJ out|IN ,|, "|'' What|WP do|VBP you|PRP want|VBP ,|, Sonny|NNP ?|. "|'' 
"|'' D-|NNP d-do|JJ you|PRP have|VBP any|DT beer|NN bottles|NNS for|IN the|DT Boy|NNP Scouts|NNP ,|, ma'am|NN ?|. "|'' 
"|'' Look|VB here|RB ,|, young|JJ man|NN ,|, do|VBP I|PRP look|VBP like|IN the|DT kind|NN of|IN lady|NN who|WP would|MD drink|VB beer|NN ?|. "|'' replied|VBD the|DT lady|NN .|. 
"|'' S-|NNP s-sorry|JJ ,|, Ma'am|NNP ,|, "|'' was|VBD his|PRP$ reply|NN .|. 
"|'' W-|NNP w-what|JJ about|IN vinegar|NN bottles|NNS ?|. "|'' 

Definition|NNP Miser|NNP :|: A|DT person|NN who|WP lives|VBZ poor|JJ so|IN that|IN he|PRP can|MD die|VB rich|JJ .|. 

International|NNP Understanding|NNP The|DT following|VBG is|VBZ a|DT telephone|NN exchange|NN between|IN a|DT hotel|NN guest|NN and|CC room-service|JJ at|IN a|DT fine|NN Japanese|JJ hotel|NN .|. 

Room|NNP Service|NNP (|( RS|NNP )|) :|: Morny|NNP .|. 
Ruin|NNP sorbees|NNS .|. 
Guest|NNP (|( G|NNP )|) :|: Sorry|JJ ,|, I|PRP thought|VBD I|PRP dialed|JJ room-service|JJ .|. 
RS|NNP :|: Rye|NNP .|. .|. 
Ruin|NNP sorbees|NNS .|. .|. 
morny|NN !|. 
Djewish|NNP to|TO odor|NN sunteen|NN ?|. ?|. 
G|NNP :|: Uh|NNP ,|, yes|UH ...|... 
I|PRP 'd|MD like|VB some|DT bacon|NN and|CC eggs|NNS .|. 
RS|NNP :|: Ow|NNP July|NNP den|NN ?|. 
G|NNP :|: What|WP ?|. 
RS|NNP :|: Ow|NNP July|NNP den|NN ?|. 
Pry|NNP ,|, boy|NN ,|, pooch|NN ?|. 
G|NNP :|: Oh|UH ,|, the|DT eggs|NNS !|. 
How|WRB do|VBP I|PRP like|VBP them|PRP ?|. 
Sorry|JJ ,|, scrambled|VBD please|VB .|. 
RS|NNP :|: Ow|NNP July|NNP dee|NN bayhcem--crease|JJ ?|. 
G|NNP :|: Crisp|NNP will|MD be|VB fine|NN .|. 
RS|NNP :|: Hokay|NNP .|. 
An|DT san|NN tos|NNS ?|. 
G|NNP :|: What|WP ?|. 
RS|NNP :|: San|NNP tos|NNS .|. 
July|NNP San|NNP tos|NNS ?|. 
G|NNP :|: I|PRP do|VBP n't|RB think|VB so|RB RS|NNP :|: No|UH ?|. 
Judo|NNP one|CD toes|NNS ?|. ?|. 
G|NNP :|: I|PRP feel|VBP really|RB bad|JJ about|IN this|DT ,|, but|CC I|PRP do|VBP n't|RB know|VB what|WP "|'' judo|NN one|CD toes|NNS means|VBZ .|. "|'' 
RS|NNP :|: Toes|NNP !|. 
toes|NNS !|. 
Why|WRB djew|NN don|VB juan|NN toes|NNS ?|. 
Ow|NNP bow|VB singlish|NN mopping|VBG we|PRP bother|VBP ?|. 
G|NNP :|: English|NNP muffin|NN !|. 
I|PRP 've|VBP got|VBN it|PRP !|. 
You|PRP were|VBD saying|VBG "|'' Toast|NNP .|. "|'' 
Fine|NNP .|. 
Yes|UH ,|, an|DT English|NNP muffin|NN will|MD be|VB fine|NN .|. 
RS|NNP :|: We|PRP bother|VBP ?|. 
G|NNP :|: No|DT ,|, just|RB put|VB the|DT bother|VB on|IN the|DT side|NN .|. 
RS|NNP :|: Wad|NNP ?|. 
G|NNP :|: I|PRP mean|VBP butter--just|JJ put|NN it|PRP on|IN the|DT side|NN .|. 
RS|NNP :|: Copy|NNP ?|. 
G|NNP :|: Sorry|JJ ?|. 
RS|NNP :|: Copy|NNP ,|, tea|NN ,|, mill|NN ?|. 
G|NNP :|: Yes|UH .|. 
Coffee|NNP please|VB ,|, and|CC that|DT 's|VBZ all|DT .|. 
RS|NNP :|: One|CD Minnie|NNP .|. 
Ass|NNP ruin|VB torino|NN fee|NN ,|, strangle|NN ache|NN ,|, crease|NN baychem|NN ,|, tossy|NN singlish|NN mopping|VBG we|PRP bother|VBP honey|NN sigh|NN ,|, and|CC copy--rye|JJ ?|. 
G|NNP :|: Whatever|WDT you|PRP say|VBP .|. 
RS|NNP :|: Tendjewberrymud|NNP .|. 
G|NNP :|: You|PRP 're|VBP welcome|JJ .|. 

Tusk|NNP ,|, Tusk|NNP …|NN .|. A|DT jeweller|NN watched|VBN as|IN a|DT huge|JJ truck|NN pulled|VBD up|RB in|IN front|NN of|IN his|PRP$ store|NN .|. 
The|DT back|RB came|VBD down|RB and|CC an|DT elephant|NN walked|VBD out|RP .|. 
It|PRP broke|VBD one|CD of|IN the|DT windows|NNS with|IN its|PRP$ tusk|NN and|CC then|RB ,|, using|VBG its|PRP$ trunk|NN like|IN a|DT vacuum|NN cleaner|JJR sucked|JJ up|RP all|DT of|IN the|DT jewellery|NN .|. 
The|DT elephant|NN then|RB got|VBD back|RB in|IN the|DT truck|NN and|CC it|PRP disappeared|VBD out|IN of|IN sight|NN .|. 
When|WRB the|DT jeweller|NN finally|RB regained|VBD his|PRP$ senses|NNS he|PRP called|VBD the|DT police|NN .|. 
The|DT detectives|NNS came|VBD and|CC he|PRP told|VBD them|PRP his|PRP$ story|NN .|. 
"|'' Could|MD you|PRP describe|VB the|DT elephant|NN ?|. "|'' the|DT cop|NN asked|VBD .|. 
"|'' An|DT elephant|NN is|VBZ an|DT elephant|NN ,|, "|'' he|PRP replied|VBD .|. 
"|'' You|PRP 've|VBP seen|VBN one|CD you|PRP 've|VBP seen|VBN them|PRP all|DT .|. 
What|WP do|VBP you|PRP mean|VBP '|POS describe|VB '|POS him|PRP ?|. "|'' 
"|'' Well|RB ,|, "|'' said|VBD the|DT policeman|NN ,|, "|'' there|EX are|VBP two|CD types|NNS of|IN elephants|NNS ,|, African|JJ and|CC Indian|JJ .|. 
The|DT Indian|JJ elephant|NN has|VBZ smaller|JJR ears|NNS and|CC is|VBZ not|RB as|RB large|JJ as|IN the|DT African|JJ elephant|NN .|. "|'' 
"|'' I|PRP ca|MD n't|RB help|VB you|PRP out|IN ,|, "|'' said|VBD the|DT frustrated|JJ jeweller|NN ,|, "|'' he|PRP had|VBD a|DT stocking|VBG pulled|VBN over|IN his|PRP$ head|NN .|. "|'' 

Fowl|NNP Pun|NNP .|. The|DT minister|NN had|VBD just|RB finished|VBN an|DT excellent|JJ chicken|NN dinner|NN at|IN the|DT home|NN of|IN a|DT member|NN of|IN his|PRP$ congregation|NN .|. 
Sitting|VBG on|IN the|DT porch|NN after|IN dinner|NN he|PRP saw|VBD a|DT rooster|NN come|VB strutting|VBG through|IN the|DT yard|NN .|. 
"|'' That|DT 's|VBZ certainly|RB a|DT proud-looking|JJ rooster|NN you|PRP have|VBP there|RB ,|, "|'' the|DT minister|NN commented|VBD .|. 
"|'' Yes|UH sir|NN ,|, "|'' replied|VBD the|DT farmer|NN .|. 
"|'' He|PRP has|VBZ reason|NN to|TO be|VB proud|JJ ,|, one|CD of|IN his|PRP$ sons|NNS just|RB entered|VBD the|DT ministry|NN !|. "|'' 

Canned|NNP ?|. "|'' There|EX is|VBZ one|CD thing|NN more|JJR exasperating|VBG than|IN a|DT spouse|NN who|WP can|MD cook|VB and|CC wo|MD n't|RB ,|, and|CC that|DT 's|VBZ a|DT spouse|NN who|WP ca|MD n't|RB cook|VB and|CC will|MD .|. "|'' 
-|: Anonymous|NNP 

THE|DT SENILITY|NNP PRAYER|NNP "|'' God|NNP grant|VB me|PRP the|DT senility|NN to|TO forget|VB the|DT people|NNS I|PRP never|RB liked|VBD anyway|RB ,|, the|DT good|JJ fortune|NN to|TO run|VB into|IN the|DT ones|NNS that|IN I|PRP do|VBP ,|, and|CC the|DT eyesight|NN to|TO tell|VB the|DT difference|NN .|. "|'' 
Now|RB that|IN I|PRP 'm|VBP '|POS older|JJR '|POS (|( but|CC refuse|VB to|TO grow|VB up|RP )|) ,|, here|RB 's|POS what|WP I|PRP 've|VBP discovered|VBN :|: ONE-|NNP I|PRP started|VBD out|IN with|IN nothing|NN ,|, and|CC I|PRP still|RB have|VBP most|JJS of|IN it|PRP .|. 
TWO-|NNP My|PRP$ wild|JJ oats|NNS have|VBP turned|VBN into|IN prunes|NNS and|CC All|DT Bran|NNP .|. 
THREE-|NNP I|PRP finally|RB got|VBD my|PRP$ head|NN together|RB ;|: now|RB my|PRP$ body|NN is|VBZ falling|VBG apart|RB .|. 
FOUR-|NNP Funny|JJ ,|, I|PRP do|VBP n't|RB remember|VB being|VBG absent|JJ minded|VBD ...|... 
FOUR-|NNP Funny|JJ ,|, I|PRP do|VBP n't|RB remember|VB being|VBG absent|JJ minded|VBD ...|... 
FIVE-|NNP All|DT reports|NNS are|VBP in|IN ;|: life|NN is|VBZ now|RB officially|RB unfair|JJ .|. 
SIX-|NNP If|IN all|DT is|VBZ not|RB lost|VBN ,|, where|WRB is|VBZ it|PRP ?|. 
SEVEN-|NNP It|PRP is|VBZ easier|JJR to|TO get|VB older|JJR than|IN it|PRP is|VBZ to|TO get|VB wiser|JJR .|. 
EIGHT-|NNP Some|DT days|NNS you|PRP 're|VBP the|DT dog|NN ;|: some|DT days|NNS you|PRP 're|VBP the|DT hydrant|NN .|. 
NINE-|NNP I|PRP wish|VBP the|DT buck|NN stopped|VBD here|RB ;|: I|PRP sure|JJ could|MD use|VB a|DT few|JJ ...|... 
TEN-|NNP Kids|NNP in|IN the|DT back|NN seat|NN cause|NN accidents|NNS .|. 
ELEVEN-|NNP Accidents|NNP in|IN the|DT back|NN seat|NN cause|NN kids|NNS .|. 
TWELVE-|NNP It|PRP 's|VBZ hard|JJ to|TO make|VB a|DT comeback|NN when|WRB you|PRP have|VBP n't|RB been|VBN anywhere|RB .|. 
THIRTEEN-|NNP The|DT only|JJ time|NN the|DT world|NN beats|VBZ a|DT path|NN to|TO your|PRP$ door|NN is|VBZ when|WRB you|PRP 're|VBP in|IN the|DT bathroom|NN .|. 
FOURTEEN-|NNP If|IN God|NNP wanted|VBD me|PRP to|TO touch|VB my|PRP$ toes|NNS ,|, he|PRP would|MD have|VB put|VBN them|PRP on|IN my|PRP$ knees|NNS .|. 
FIFTEEN-|NNP When|WRB I|PRP 'm|VBP finally|RB holding|VBG all|PDT the|DT cards|NNS ,|, why|WRB does|VBZ everyone|NN decide|VB to|TO play|VB chess|NN ?|. 
SIXTEEN-|NNP It|PRP 's|VBZ not|RB hard|JJ to|TO meet|VB expenses|NNS ...|... 
they|PRP 're|VBP everywhere|RB .|. 
SEVENTEEN-|NNP The|DT only|JJ difference|NN between|IN a|DT rut|NN and|CC a|DT grave|NN is|VBZ the|DT depth|NN .|. 
EIGHTEEN-|NNP These|DT days|NNS ,|, I|PRP spend|VBP a|DT lot|NN of|IN time|NN thinking|VBG about|IN the|DT hereafter|RB ...|... 
I|PRP go|VBP somewhere|RB to|TO get|VB something|NN and|CC then|RB wonder|VBP what|WP I|PRP 'm|VBP hereafter|RB .|. 
NINETEEN-|NNP I|PRP AM|NNP UNABLE|NNP TO|TO REMEMBER|NNP IF|IN I|PRP HAVE|NNP MAILED|NNP THIS|NNP TO|TO YOU|PRP BEFORE|NNP OR|NNP NOT|NNP !|. 
Where|WRB was|VBD I|PRP ?|. ?|. 

Ask|VB and|CC Ye|NNP Shall|NNP Receive|NNP One|CD day|NN ,|, three|CD men|NNS were|VBD hiking|NN and|CC unexpectedly|RB came|VBD upon|IN a|DT large|JJ raging|VBG ,|, violent|JJ river|NN .|. 
They|PRP needed|VBD to|TO get|VB to|TO the|DT other|JJ side|NN ,|, but|CC had|VBD no|DT idea|NN of|IN how|WRB to|TO do|VB so|RB .|. 
The|DT first|JJ man|NN prayed|JJ to|TO God|NNP ,|, saying|VBG ,|, "|'' Please|VB God|NNP ,|, give|VB me|PRP the|DT strength|NN to|TO cross|VB this|DT river|NN "|'' .|. 
Poof|NNP !|. 
God|NNP gave|VBD him|PRP big|JJ arms|NNS and|CC strong|JJ legs|NNS ,|, and|CC he|PRP was|VBD able|JJ to|TO swim|VBP across|IN the|DT river|NN in|IN about|IN two|CD hours|NNS ,|, after|IN almost|RB drowning|VBG a|DT couple|NN of|IN times|NNS .|. 
Seeing|VBG this|DT ,|, the|DT second|JJ man|NN prayed|JJ to|TO God|NNP ,|, saying|VBG ,|, "|'' Please|VB God|NNP ,|, give|VB me|PRP the|DT strength|NN …|NN .|. 
and|CC the|DT tools|NNS to|TO cross|VB this|DT river|NN "|'' .|. 
Poof|NNP !|. 
God|NNP gave|VBD him|PRP a|DT rowboat|NN and|CC he|PRP was|VBD able|JJ to|TO row|VB across|IN the|DT river|NN in|IN about|IN an|DT hour|NN ,|, after|IN almost|RB capsizing|VBG the|DT boat|NN a|DT couple|NN of|IN times|NNS .|. 
The|DT third|JJ man|NN had|VBD seen|VBN how|WRB this|DT worked|VBD out|IN for|IN the|DT other|JJ two|CD ,|, so|IN he|PRP also|RB prayed|JJ to|TO God|NNP saying|VBG ,|, "|'' Please|VB God|NNP ,|, give|VB me|PRP the|DT strength|NN and|CC the|DT tools|NNS ...|... and|CC the|DT intelligence|NN .|. to|TO cross|VB this|DT river|NN "|'' .|. 
And|CC poof|NN !|. 
God|NNP turned|VBD him|PRP into|IN a|DT woman|NN .|. 
She|PRP looked|VBD at|IN the|DT map|NN ,|, hiked|VBN upstream|RB a|DT couple|NN of|IN hundred|CD yards|NNS ,|, then|RB walked|VBD across|IN the|DT bridge|NN .|. 

Reality|NN Check|VB "|'' What|WP do|VBP you|PRP love|VBP most|JJS about|IN me|PRP ,|, "|'' a|DT husband|NN asked|VBD his|PRP$ wife|NN ,|, "|'' My|PRP$ great|JJ athletic|JJ ability|NN or|CC my|PRP$ quick|JJ intellect|NN ?|. "|'' 
"|'' What|WP I|PRP love|VBP most|JJS about|IN you|PRP ,|, "|'' responded|VBD the|DT wife|NN ,|, "|'' Is|VBZ your|PRP$ enormous|JJ sense|NN of|IN humor|NN .|. "|'' 

A|DT Pair|NNP of|IN Show|NNP me|PRP a|DT man|NN with|IN both|DT feet|NNS planted|VBN firmly|RB on|IN the|DT ground|NN and|CC I|PRP 'll|MD show|VB you|PRP a|DT man|NN who|WP ca|MD n't|RB put|VB on|IN his|PRP$ pants|NNS .|. 

Very|RB Finny|NNP Two|CD fish|NN are|VBP in|IN a|DT tank|NN .|. 
One|CD says|VBZ to|TO the|DT other|JJ ,|, "|'' Do|VBP you|PRP know|VBP how|WRB to|TO drive|VB this|DT thing|NN ?|. "|'' 

Value|NNP She|PRP was|VBD reading|VBG a|DT newspaper|NN while|IN her|PRP$ husband|NN was|VBD engrossed|JJ in|IN a|DT game|NN on|IN TV|NN .|. 
Suddenly|RB ,|, she|PRP burst|VBD out|IN laughing|VBG .|. 
"|'' Listen|VB to|TO this|DT ,|, there|EX 's|VBZ an|DT ad|NN here|RB where|WRB a|DT guy|NN is|VBZ offering|VBG to|TO swap|VB his|PRP$ wife|NN for|IN a|DT season|NN ticket|NN .|. "|'' 
"|'' Hmmm|NNP ,|, "|'' her|PRP$ husband|NN said|VBD ,|, not|RB bothering|VBG to|TO look|VB away|RB from|IN his|PRP$ program|NN .|. 
She|PRP said|VBD teasingly|RB ,|, "|'' Would|MD you|PRP swap|VBP me|PRP for|IN season|NN tickets|NNS ?|. "|'' 
"|'' Absolutely|RB not|RB ,|, "|'' he|PRP said|VBD ,|, "|'' the|DT season|NN 's|POS more|JJR than|IN half|NN over|IN .|. "|'' 

