Paradox|NNP ?|. To|TO put|VB it|PRP simply|RB ,|, if|IN the|DT complexity|NN of|IN the|DT human|JJ brain|NN was|VBD simple|JJ enough|RB to|TO be|VB understood|VBN ,|, it|PRP would|MD then|RB be|VB far|RB too|RB simple|JJ to|TO understand|VB the|DT simplicity|NN ,|, do|VBP you|PRP understand|VBP ?|. 
Perspective|NNP To|TO a|DT worm|NN ,|, digging|NN in|IN the|DT hard|JJ ground|NN is|VBZ more|JJR appealing|VBG than|IN going|VBG fishing|NN .|. 

Celebrating|NNP Religious|NNP Holidays|NNP An|DT atheist|NN complained|VBD to|TO a|DT friend|NN ,|, "|'' Christians|NNS have|VBP their|PRP$ special|JJ holidays|NNS ,|, such|JJ as|IN Christmas|NNP and|CC Easter|NNP ;|: and|CC Jews|NNPS celebrate|VBP their|PRP$ holidays|NNS ,|, such|JJ as|IN Passover|NNP and|CC Yom|NNP Kippur|NNP ;|: Muslims|NNPS have|VBP their|PRP$ holidays|NNS .|. 
EVERY|NNP religion|NN gets|VBZ holidays|NNS .|. 
But|CC we|PRP atheists|NNS ,|, "|'' he|PRP said|VBD ,|, "|'' have|VBP no|DT recognized|VBN national|JJ holidays|NNS .|. 
It|PRP 's|VBZ an|DT unfair|JJ discrimination|NN .|. "|'' 
His|PRP$ friend|NN replied|VBD ,|, "|'' Well|RB ...|... 
Why|WRB do|VBP n't|RB you|PRP celebrate|VBP April|NNP first|NN ?|. "|'' 

Skydiving|NNP Liam|NNP had|VBD left|VBN Dublin|NNP to|TO go|VB up|RP to|TO Belfast|NNP for|IN a|DT bit|NN of|IN skydiving|VBG .|. 
Late|RB Sunday|NNP evening|NN he|PRP was|VBD found|VBN in|IN a|DT tree|NN by|IN a|DT farmer|NN .|. 
"|'' What|WP happened|VBD ?|. "|'' said|VBD the|DT farmer|NN .|. 
Liam|NNP replied|VBD that|IN his|PRP$ parachute|NN had|VBD failed|VBN to|TO open|VB .|. 
"|'' Well|RB ,|, "|'' said|VBD the|DT farmer|NN ,|, "|'' if|IN you|PRP had|VBD of|IN asked|VBN the|DT locals|NNS before|IN you|PRP jumped|VBD ,|, they|PRP would|MD have|VB told|VBN you|PRP nothing|NN opens|VBZ here|RB on|IN a|DT Sunday|NNP .|. "|'' 

This|DT is|VBZ Heaven|NNP This|DT 85|CD year|NN old|JJ couple|NN ,|, having|VBG been|VBN married|VBN almost|RB 60|CD years|NNS ,|, had|VBD died|VBN in|IN a|DT car|NN crash|NN .|. 
They|PRP had|VBD been|VBN in|IN good|JJ health|NN the|DT last|JJ ten|CD years|NNS ,|, mainly|RB due|JJ to|TO her|PRP$ interest|NN in|IN health|NN food|NN and|CC exercise|NN .|. 
When|WRB they|PRP reached|VBD the|DT pearly|RB gates|NNS ,|, St.|NN Peter|NNP took|VBD them|PRP to|TO their|PRP$ mansion|NN which|WDT was|VBD decked|VBN out|IN with|IN a|DT beautiful|JJ kitchen|NN and|CC master|NN bath|NN suite|NN and|CC Jacuzzi|NN .|. 
As|IN they|PRP "|'' oohed|JJ and|CC aahed|JJ "|'' the|DT old|JJ man|NN asked|VBD Peter|NNP how|WRB much|JJ all|PDT this|DT was|VBD going|VBG to|TO cost|VB .|. 
"|'' It|PRP 's|VBZ free|JJ ,|, "|'' Peter|NNP replied|VBD ,|, "|'' this|DT is|VBZ Heaven|NNP .|. "|'' 
Next|JJ they|PRP went|VBD out|IN back|RB to|TO survey|VB the|DT championship|NN golf|NN course|NN that|IN the|DT home|NN backed|VBN up|RP to|TO .|. 
They|PRP would|MD have|VB golfing|NN privileges|NNS everyday|JJ and|CC each|DT week|NN the|DT course|NN changed|VBN to|TO a|DT new|JJ one|CD representing|VBG the|DT great|JJ golf|NN courses|NNS on|IN earth|NN .|. 
The|DT old|JJ man|NN asked|VBD ,|, "|'' What|WP are|VBP the|DT green|JJ fees|NNS ?|. "|'' 
Peter|NNP 's|POS reply|NN ,|, "|'' This|DT is|VBZ heaven|NN ,|, you|PRP play|VBP for|IN free|JJ .|. "|'' 
Next|JJ they|PRP went|VBD to|TO the|DT club|NN house|NN and|CC saw|VBD the|DT lavish|JJ buffet|NN lunch|NN with|IN the|DT cuisine|NN 's|POS of|IN the|DT world|NN laid|VBN out|RP .|. 
"|'' How|WRB much|JJ to|TO eat|VB ?|. "|'' 
asked|VBD the|DT old|JJ man|NN .|. 
"|'' Do|VBP n't|RB you|PRP understand|VBP yet|RB ?|. 
This|DT is|VBZ heaven|NN ,|, it|PRP is|VBZ free|JJ !|. "|'' 
Peter|NNP replied|VBD with|IN some|DT exasperation|NN .|. 
"|'' Well|RB ,|, where|WRB are|VBP the|DT low|JJ fat|JJ and|CC low|JJ cholesterol|NN tables|NNS ?|. "|'' the|DT old|JJ man|NN asked|VBD timidly|RB .|. 
Peter|NNP lectured|VBD ,|, "|'' That|DT 's|VBZ the|DT best|JJS part|NN ...|... you|PRP can|MD eat|VB as|RB much|JJ as|IN you|PRP like|VBP of|IN whatever|WDT you|PRP like|VBP and|CC you|PRP never|RB get|VBP fat|JJ and|CC you|PRP never|RB get|VBP sick|JJ .|. 
This|DT is|VBZ Heaven|NNP .|. "|'' 
With|IN that|IN the|DT old|JJ man|NN went|VBD into|IN a|DT fit|NN of|IN anger|NN ,|, throwing|VBG down|RP his|PRP$ hat|NN and|CC stomping|VBG on|IN it|PRP and|CC shrieking|VBG wildly|RB .|. 
Peter|NNP and|CC his|PRP$ wife|NN both|DT tried|VBD to|TO calm|VB him|PRP down|RB ,|, asking|VBG him|PRP what|WP was|VBD wrong|JJ .|. 
The|DT old|JJ man|NN looked|VBD at|IN his|PRP$ wife|NN and|CC said|VBD ,|, "|'' This|DT is|VBZ all|DT your|PRP$ fault|NN .|. 
If|IN it|PRP were|VBD n't|RB for|IN your|PRP$ darn|NN bran|NN muffins|NNS ,|, I|PRP could|MD have|VB been|VBN here|RB ten|CD years|NNS ago|RB !|. "|'' 

Age|NNP I|PRP am|VBP sitting|VBG here|RB thinking|VBG how|WRB nice|JJ it|PRP is|VBZ that|IN wrinkles|NNS do|VBP n't|RB hurt|VBN .|. 
The|DT golden|JJ years|NNS :|: When|WRB actions|NNS creak|VB louder|JJR than|IN words|NNS The|DT older|JJR you|PRP get|VBP ,|, the|DT better|JJR you|PRP get|VBP ,|, (|( unless|IN you|PRP 're|VBP a|DT banana|NN )|) Age|NNP is|VBZ an|DT issue|NN of|IN mind|NN over|IN matter|NN .|. 
If|IN you|PRP do|VBP n't|RB mind|VB ,|, ...|... then|RB it|PRP just|RB does|VBZ n't|RB matter|VB .|. 
-|: Mark|NNP Twain|NNP 

The|DT Service|NNP Our|PRP$ old|JJ friend|NN Gladys|NNP attended|VBD church|NN services|NNS one|CD particular|JJ Sunday|NNP .|. 
The|DT sermon|NN seemed|VBD to|TO go|VB on|IN forever|RB ,|, and|CC many|JJ in|IN the|DT congregation|NN fell|VBD asleep|RB .|. 
After|IN the|DT service|NN ,|, to|TO be|VB social|JJ ,|, she|PRP walked|VBD up|IN to|TO a|DT very|RB sleepy|JJ looking|VBG gentleman|NN ,|, in|IN an|DT attempt|NN to|TO revive|VB him|PRP from|IN his|PRP$ stupor|NN ,|, extended|VBD her|PRP$ hand|NN in|IN greeting|VBG ,|, and|CC said|VBD ,|, "|'' Hello|UH ,|, I|PRP 'm|VBP Gladys|NNP Dunn|NNP .|. "|'' 
To|TO which|WDT the|DT wakening|VBG gentleman|NN replied|VBD ,|, "|'' You|PRP 're|VBP not|RB the|DT only|RB one|CD !|. "|'' 

There|EX 's|VBZ a|DT Noise|NNP One|CD night|NN ,|, a|DT lady|NN stumbled|VBD into|IN the|DT police|NN station|NN with|IN a|DT black|JJ eye|NN .|. 
She|PRP claimed|VBD she|PRP heard|VBD a|DT noise|NN in|IN her|PRP$ back|RB yard|NN and|CC went|VBD to|TO investigate|VB .|. 
The|DT next|JJ thing|NN she|PRP knew|VBD ,|, she|PRP was|VBD hit|VBN in|IN the|DT eye|NN and|CC knocked|VBD out|IN cold|NN .|. 
An|DT officer|NN was|VBD sent|VBN to|TO her|PRP$ house|NN to|TO investigate|VB ,|, and|CC he|PRP returned|VBD 1|CD -|: 1/2|CD hours|NNS later|RB with|IN a|DT black|JJ eye|NN .|. 
"|'' Did|VBD you|PRP get|VBP hit|VBN by|IN the|DT same|JJ person|NN ?|. "|'' his|PRP$ captain|NN asked|VBD .|. 
"|'' No|DT ,|, "|'' he|PRP replied|VBD .|. 
"|'' I|PRP stepped|VBD on|IN the|DT same|JJ rake|NN .|. "|'' 

Behind|IN the|DT Wheel|NNP Although|IN this|DT married|JJ couple|NN enjoyed|VBD their|PRP$ luxury|NN fishing|NN boat|NN together|RB ,|, it|PRP was|VBD the|DT husband|NN who|WP was|VBD behind|IN the|DT wheel|NN operating|VBG the|DT boat|NN .|. 
He|PRP was|VBD concerned|VBN about|IN what|WP might|MD happen|VB in|IN an|DT emergency|NN .|. 
So|RB one|CD day|NN out|IN on|IN the|DT lake|NN he|PRP said|VBD to|TO his|PRP$ wife|NN ,|, "|'' Please|VB take|VB the|DT wheel|NN ,|, dear|RB .|. 
Pretend|VB that|IN I|PRP am|VBP having|VBG a|DT heart|NN attack|NN .|. 
You|PRP must|MD get|VB the|DT boat|NN safely|RB to|TO shore|VB .|. "|'' 
So|IN she|PRP drove|VBD the|DT boat|NN to|TO shore|VB .|. 
That|DT evening|NN ,|, the|DT wife|NN walked|VBD into|IN the|DT living|VBG room|NN where|WRB her|PRP$ husband|NN was|VBD watching|VBG television|NN .|. 
She|PRP sat|VBD down|RB next|JJ to|TO him|PRP ,|, reached|VBN for|IN the|DT remote|JJ and|CC switched|VBD the|DT TV|NN channel|NN ,|, then|RB said|VBD to|TO him|PRP ,|, "|'' Pretend|VB I|PRP 'm|VBP having|VBG a|DT heart|NN attack|NN .|. 
Please|VB go|VB into|IN the|DT kitchen|NN ,|, dear|RB .|. 
You|PRP must|MD cook|VB the|DT meal|NN ,|, set|VBD the|DT places|NNS ,|, and|CC then|RB get|VB the|DT dinner|NN safely|RB to|TO the|DT table|NN "|'' 

The|DT Wet|NNP Rabbit|NNP A|DT woman|NN walks|VBZ into|IN a|DT vet|NN 's|POS waiting|VBG room|NN .|. 
She|PRP 's|VBZ dragging|VBG a|DT very|RB wet|JJ rabbit|NN on|IN a|DT leash|NN .|. 
The|DT rabbit|NN does|VBZ not|RB want|VB to|TO be|VB there|RB .|. 
"|'' Sit|NNP ,|, Fluffy|NNP ,|, "|'' she|PRP says|VBZ .|. 
Fluffy|NNP glares|VBZ at|IN her|PRP$ ,|, and|CC sopping|VBG wet|JJ ,|, jumps|NNS up|RB on|IN another|DT customer|NN 's|POS lap|NN ,|, getting|VBG water|NN all|DT over|IN his|PRP$ knees|NNS .|. 
"|'' I|PRP said|VBD sit|VB ,|, now|RB there|EX 's|VBZ a|DT good|JJ Fluffy|NNP ,|, "|'' says|VBZ the|DT woman|NN ,|, slightly|RB embarrassed|JJ .|. 
Fluffy|NNP squats|NNS in|IN the|DT middle|NN of|IN the|DT room|NN and|CC urinates|NNS .|. 
The|DT woman|NN ,|, mortally|RB embarrassed|JJ ,|, shouts|VBZ ,|, "|'' Fluffy|NNP ,|, will|MD you|PRP be|VB good|JJ ?|. !|. "|'' 
Fluffy|NNP then|RB starts|VBZ a|DT fight|NN with|IN a|DT Doberman|NNP and|CC pursues|VBZ it|PRP out|IN of|IN the|DT office|NN .|. 
As|IN the|DT woman|NN leaves|VBZ to|TO go|VB after|IN it|PRP ,|, she|PRP turns|VBZ to|TO the|DT rest|NN of|IN the|DT flabbergasted|JJ customers|NNS and|CC apologises|NNS :|: "|'' Look|VB ,|, I|PRP 'm|VBP sorry|JJ ,|, but|CC I|PRP 've|VBP just|RB washed|VBN my|PRP$ hare|NN ,|, and|CC I|PRP ca|MD n't|RB do|VB a|DT thing|NN with|IN it|PRP !|. "|'' 

Relationship|NNP Education|NNP For|IN Men|NNP Whatsamatta|NNP University|NNP 's|POS Seminars|NNP For|IN Men|NN Fall|NN Catalogue|NNP 
Once|RB again|RB ,|, the|DT female|JJ staff|NN at|IN Whatsamatta|NNP University|NNP will|MD be|VB offering|VBG courses|NNS for|IN men|NNS of|IN all|DT marital|JJ status|NN in|IN an|DT attempt|NN to|TO help|VB males|NNS and|CC females|NNS understand|VBP each|DT other|JJ better|JJR .|. 
Attendance|NNP in|IN at|IN least|JJS 10|CD of|IN the|DT following|VBG is|VBZ required|VBN .|. 
1|CD .|. Combating|NNP Stupidity|NNP 
2|CD .|. You|PRP Too|RB Can|MD Do|VB Housework|NNP 
3|CD .|. PMS|NNP -|: Learn|NNP When|WRB To|TO Keep|VB Your|PRP$ Mouth|NNP Shut|NNP 
4|CD .|. How|WRB To|TO Properly|NNP Fill|NNP An|DT Ice|NNP Tray|NNP 
5|CD .|. We|PRP Do|VBP Not|RB Want|NNP Sleazy|NNP Underwear|NN For|IN Christmas|NNP (|( Just|RB Give|VB Us|NNP Credit|NNP Cards|NNP )|) 
6|CD .|. Understanding|NNP The|DT Female|NNP Response|NNP To|TO Coming|VBG Home|NNP Drunk|NNP At|IN 4:00|NN am|VBP 
7|CD .|. Wonderful|JJ Laundry|NNP Techniques|NNP (|( formerly|RB called|VBN "|'' Do|VBP n't|RB Wash|NNP My|PRP$ Silks|NNP "|'' )|) 
8|CD .|. Parenting|NNP Roles|NNP Beyond|IN Initial|JJ Conception|NNP 
9|CD .|. Get|VB A|DT Life|NNP -|: Learn|NNP To|TO Cook|NNP 
10|CD .|. How|WRB Not|RB To|TO Behave|NNP When|WRB You|PRP Are|VBP Obviously|RB Wrong|JJ 
11|CD .|. Spelling|NNP -|: Even|RB You|PRP Can|MD Get|VB It|PRP Right|RB 
12|CD .|. Understanding|NNP Your|PRP$ Financial|NNP Incompetence|NNP 
13|CD .|. You|PRP ,|, The|DT Weaker|NNP Sex|NN 
14|CD .|. Reasons|NNS To|TO Give|VB Flowers|NNPS 
15|CD .|. How|WRB To|TO Stay|NNP Awake|NNP After|IN Sex|NN 
16|CD .|. You|PRP Do|VBP n't|RB Really|RB Need|MD That|DT Porsche|NNP After|IN Thinning|NNP Hair|NNP And|CC Mid-|NNP Life|NNP Crisis|NNP 
17|CD .|. Garbage|NNP -|: Getting|VBG It|PRP To|TO The|DT Curb|VB 
18|CD .|. How|WRB To|TO Tolerate|NNP Bras|NNP And|CC Pantyhose|NN Hanging|NNP In|IN The|DT Bathroom|NNP 
19|CD .|. You|PRP Can|MD not|RB Always|RB Wear|VB Whatever|WDT You|PRP Damn|NNP Well|RB Please|VB 
20|CD .|. How|WRB To|TO Put|VB Down|IN A|DT Toilet|NNP Seat|NNP (|( formerly|RB called|VBN "|'' No|DT It|PRP 's|VBZ Not|RB A|DT Bidet|NNP "|'' )|) 
21|CD .|. Give|VB Me|PRP A|DT Break|NN -|: Why|WRB We|PRP Know|VBP Your|PRP$ Excuses|NNPS Are|VBP Often|RB Bull|NNP 
22|CD .|. How|WRB To|TO Go|VB Shopping|NNP With|IN Your|PRP$ Mate|NNP Without|IN Getting|VBG Lost|VBD 
23|CD .|. The|DT Remote|NNP Control|NNP -|: Overcoming|NNP Your|PRP$ Dependency|NNP 
24|CD .|. Romanticism|NNP -|: Other|JJ Ideas|NNS Beyond|IN Sex|NN 
25|CD .|. Helpful|NNP Posture|NNP Hints|NNP For|IN Couch|NNP Potatoes|NNP 
26|CD .|. Mother-in-|NNP Laws|NNP Are|VBP People|NNS Too|RB 
27|CD .|. The|DT Weekend|NNP And|CC Sports|NNPS Are|VBP Not|RB Synonymous|NNP 
28|CD .|. How|WRB Not|RB To|TO Act|NNP Younger|NNP Than|IN Your|PRP$ Children|NNP 
29|CD .|. You|PRP Too|RB Can|MD Be|VB A|DT Designated|NNP Driver|NN 
30|CD .|. Male|NNP Bonding|NNP :|: Leave|VB Your|PRP$ Friends|NNPS At|IN Home|NNP 
31|CD .|. You|PRP Do|VBP n't|RB Look|VB Like|IN Mel|NNP Gibson|NNP ,|, Especially|RB When|WRB Naked|NNP 
32|CD .|. Changing|VBG Your|PRP$ Underwear|NN -|: It|PRP Really|RB Works|NNP !|. 
33|CD .|. Attainable|NNP Goal|NNP -|: Omitting|NNP Foul|NNP Expletives|NNP From|IN Your|PRP$ Vocabulary|NNP 

