Red|NNP Pants|NNP 
While|IN writers|NNS whose|WP$ business|NN it|PRP is|VBZ to|TO be|VB witty|JJ often|RB fail|VB to|TO produce|VB ,|, grave|JJ authors|NNS occasionally|RB are|VBP mirthful|JJ when|WRB laughter|NN is|VBZ farthest|JJS from|IN their|PRP$ minds|NNS .|. 
From|IN a|DT lifetime|NN of|IN undisciplined|JJ reading|NN with|IN innocent|JJ pencil|NN in|IN hand|NN and|CC malice|NN prepense|NN in|IN mind|NN ,|, I|PRP have|VBP gleaned|VBN a|DT harvest|NN of|IN what|WP I|PRP am|VBP pleased|VBN to|TO denominate|NN Red|NNP Pants|NNP items|NNS ,|, a|DT sampling|VBG of|IN which|WDT follows|VBZ .|. 
My|PRP$ designation|NN derives|VBZ from|IN a|DT splash|NN of|IN vivid|JJ writing|NN in|IN Francis|NNP Thompson|NNP 's|VBZ A|DT Corymbus|NNP for|IN Autumn|NNP in|IN which|WDT he|PRP proclaims|VBZ how|WRB day|NN 's|POS dying|VBG dragon|NN was|VBD Panting|NNP red|JJ pants|NNS into|IN the|DT West|NNP .|. 

In|IN this|DT trousers|NNS category|NN ,|, Thompson|NNP must|MD share|VB the|DT limelight|NN with|IN Coleridge|NNP by|IN virtue|NN of|IN the|DT line|NN in|IN Kubla|NNP Khan|NNP :|: As|IN if|IN this|DT earth|NN in|IN fast|RB thick|JJ pants|NNS were|VBD breathing|VBG .|. 

Even|RB Shelley|NNP may|MD stake|VB a|DT claim|NN ,|, if|IN only|RB in|IN the|DT pajama|NN division|NN of|IN this|DT sector|NN ,|, thanks|NNS to|TO his|PRP$ description|NN in|IN Epipsychidion|NNP of|IN how|WRB .|. .|. .|. the|DT slow|JJ ,|, silent|JJ night|NN Is|VBZ measured|VBN by|IN the|DT pants|NNS of|IN their|PRP$ calm|NN sleep|VB .|. 

Since|IN everthing|VBG is|VBZ to|TO be|VB found|VBN in|IN Shakespeare|NNP ,|, it|PRP is|VBZ not|RB surprising|JJ that|IN on|IN at|IN least|JJS two|CD occasions|NNS the|DT Board|NNP has|VBZ contributed|VBN his|PRP$ own|JJ Red|NNP Pants|NNP nuggets|NNS .|. 
In|IN Antony|NNP and|CC Cleopatra|NNP (|( Act|NNP IV|NNP ,|, Scene|NNP VIII|NNP ,|, lines|NNS 14|CD et|CC seq|NN .|. )|) Antony|NNP commands|NNS the|DT wounded|VBN Scarus|NNP to|TO .|. .|. .|. leap|NN thou|NN ,|, attire|NN and|CC all|DT ,|, Through|IN proof|NN of|IN harness|NN to|TO my|PRP$ heart|NN ,|, and|CC there|RB Ride|NNP on|IN the|DT pants|NNS triumphing|VBG .|. 

And|CC in|IN Othello|NNP (|( Act|NNP II|NNP ,|, Scene|NNP I|PRP ,|, line|NN 80|CD )|) Cassio|NNP utters|NNS the|DT fervent|JJ prayer|NN that|DT Othello|NNP might|MD 
Make|VB love|NN 's|POS quick|JJ pants|NNS in|IN Desdemona|NNP 's|POS arms|NNS .|. 

A|DT variation|NN on|IN this|DT theme|NN occurs|VBZ in|IN Alba|NNP de|IN Céspedes|NNP '|POS The|DT Secret|JJ (|( translated|VBN from|IN the|DT Italian|JJ by|IN Isabel|NNP Quigly|NNP :|: Simon|NNP and|CC Schuster|NNP ,|, New|NNP York|NNP ,|, 1958|CD ,|, page|NN 114|CD )|) where|WRB she|PRP confides|VBZ that|IN I|PRP still|RB had|VBD a|DT whole|JJ afternoon|NN before|IN me|PRP to|TO spend|VB ,|, and|CC I|PRP used|VBD it|PRP to|TO tidy|JJ up|RP my|PRP$ drawers|NNS .|. .|. .|. .|. 
One|CD may|MD well|RB wonder|VB what|WP Miss|NNP Stowe|NNP had|VBD in|IN mind|NN when|WRB ,|, in|IN Uncle|NNP Tom|NNP 's|POS Cabin|NNP (|( Chapter|NN 5|LS )|) ,|, she|PRP narrates|NNS how|WRB Mrs.|NN Shelby|NNP stood|VBD like|IN one|CD stricken|VBN .|. 
Finally|RB ,|, turning|VBG to|TO her|PRP$ toilet|NN ,|, she|PRP rested|VBD her|PRP$ face|NN in|IN her|PRP$ hands|NNS ,|, and|CC gave|VBD a|DT sort|NN of|IN groan|NN .|. 
In|IN this|DT same|JJ vein|NN ,|, the|DT mirthless|JJ Milton|NNP adds|VBZ his|PRP$ bit|NN to|TO the|DT general|JJ hilarity|NN of|IN nations|NNS when|WRB ,|, in|IN describing|VBG Mount|NNP Etna|NNP in|IN Book|NNP I|PRP of|IN Paradise|NNP Lost|VBD (|( lines|NNS 236|CD -|: 7|CD )|) he|PRP penned|VBN And|CC leave|VB a|DT singed|JJ bottom|NN all|DT involved|VBN With|IN stench|NN and|CC smoke|NN :|: .|. .|. .|. 

And|CC in|IN Chapter|NNP VI|NNP of|IN Vanity|NNP Fair|NNP ,|, when|WRB Blenkinsop|NNP ,|, the|DT housekeeper|NN ,|, sought|VBN to|TO console|VB Amelia|NNP for|IN Joe|NNP Sedley|NNP 's|POS jilting|VBG of|IN her|PRP$ dear|RB Rebecca|NNP ,|, Thackeray|NNP confides|VBZ (|( indelicately|RB ?|. )|) that|IN Amelia|NNP wept|VBD confidentially|RB on|IN the|DT housekeeper|NN 's|POS shoulder|NN and|CC relieved|VBD herself|PRP a|DT good|JJ deal|NN .|. 

Chuckles|NNP often|RB emanate|NN from|IN the|DT British|JJ employment|NN of|IN a|DT term|NN in|IN a|DT sense|NN at|IN variance|NN with|IN American|JJ usage|NN .|. 
There|RB is|VBZ that|IN oft-quoted|JJ example|NN ,|, near|IN the|DT opening|NN of|IN Trial|NNP by|IN Jury|NNP ,|, where|WRB Defendant|NNP asks|VBZ ,|, Is|VBZ this|DT the|DT Court|NNP of|IN the|DT Exchequer|NNP ?|. and|CC having|VBG been|VBN assured|VBN that|IN it|PRP was|VBD ,|, Defendant|NNP (|( aside|RB )|) commands|NNS himself|PRP to|TO Be|VB firm|NN ,|, be|VB firm|NN ,|, my|PRP$ pecker|NN .|. 
The|DT British|NNPS ,|, of|IN course|NN ,|, do|VBP not|RB giggle|NN at|IN this|DT bit|NN of|IN Gilbertian|NNP dialogue|NN ,|, since|IN to|TO them|PRP pecker|NN means|VBZ `|`` courage|NN ,|, '|'' as|IN in|IN the|DT phrase|NN to|TO keep|VB your|PRP$ pecker|NN up|RB .|. 
Two|CD of|IN the|DT more|RBR common|JJ examples|NNS of|IN British-|NNP American|JJ divergence|NN of|IN usage|NN are|VBP screw|NN and|CC knock|VB up|RB .|. 
In|IN Vanity|NNP Fair|NNP (|( Chapter|NN 39|CD )|) ,|, the|DT niggardly|RB Sir|NNP Pitt|NNP was|VBD not|RB nearly|RB the|DT aerial|JJ acrobat|NN your|PRP$ American|JJ sophomore|NN might|MD fancy|JJ him|PRP to|TO be|VB when|WRB he|PRP screwed|VBD his|PRP$ tenants|NNS by|IN letter|NN .|. 
He|PRP was|VBD simply|RB making|VBG extortionate|NN exactions|NNS upon|IN his|PRP$ wretched|JJ lessees|NNS .|. 
Similarly|RB ,|, when|WRB in|IN Chapter|NNP XXXIV|NNP of|IN the|DT same|JJ novel|NN ,|, Mrs.|NN Bute|NNP reminds|VBZ her|PRP$ husband|NN that|IN You|PRP 'd|MD have|VB been|VBN screwed|VBN in|IN goal|NN ,|, Bute|NNP ,|, if|IN I|PRP had|VBD not|RB kept|VBN your|PRP$ money|NN ,|, she|PRP was|VBD not|RB speaking|NN of|IN pleasures|NNS deferred|VBN .|. 
In|IN Bleak|NNP House|NNP (|( Chapter|NNP XXVII|NNP )|) Grandfather|NNP Smallweed|NNP ,|, referring|VBG to|TO Mr.|NN George|NNP ,|, warns|VBZ Mr.|NN Tulkinghorn|NNP that|IN I|PRP have|VBP him|PRP periodically|RB in|IN a|DT vice|NN .|. 
I|PRP 'll|MD twist|NN him|PRP ,|, sir|NN .|. 
I|PRP 'll|MD screw|NN him|PRP ,|, sir|NN .|. 
In|IN Kipling|NNP 's|VBZ The|DT Light|NNP That|DT Failed|NNP (|( Chapter|NNP XIII|NNP )|) ,|, Torpenhow|NNP urges|VBZ Dick|NNP to|TO attend|VB a|DT party|NN that|DT night|NN ,|, We|PRP shall|MD be|VB half|NN screwed|VBN before|IN the|DT morning|NN ,|, is|VBZ his|PRP$ dismal|JJ sales|NNS pitch|NN to|TO Dick|NNP .|. 

In|IN Chapter|NNP VI|NNP of|IN Vanity|NNP Fair|NNP ,|, Thackeray|NNP reports|NNS on|IN Joe|NNP Sedley|NNP 's|POS drunken|JJ avowal|NN to|TO wed|VBN Becky|NNP Sharp|NNP the|DT next|JJ morning|NN ,|, even|RB if|IN he|PRP had|VBD to|TO knock|VB up|RP the|DT Archbishop|NNP of|IN Canterbury|NNP at|IN Lambeth|NNP ,|, in|IN order|NN to|TO have|VB him|PRP in|IN readiness|NN to|TO perform|VB the|DT ceremony|NN .|. 
In|IN Great|NNP Expectations|NNS (|( Chapter|NNP VI|NNP )|) ,|, we|PRP learn|VBP how|WRB .|. .|. .|. Mr.|NN Whopsle|NNP ,|, being|VBG knocked|VBN up|RB ,|, was|VBD in|IN such|JJ a|DT very|RB bad|JJ temper|NN .|. 
And|CC who|WP could|MD blame|VB him|PRP ?|. 

Many|JJ a|DT raucous|JJ snigger|NN has|VBZ been|VBN sniggered|JJ from|IN the|DT pure-minded|JJ use|NN of|IN a|DT word|NN that|WDT suggests|VBZ unmentionable|JJ parts|NNS of|IN the|DT human|JJ body|NN .|. 
It|PRP does|VBZ not|RB take|VB a|DT too-wicked|JJ mind|NN to|TO read|VB into|IN such|JJ terms|NNS meanings|NNS of|IN a|DT lewd|NN nature|NN .|. 
Who|WP can|MD ,|, for|IN instance|NN ,|, blame|VBP a|DT youth|NN with|IN but|CC a|DT mildly|RB evil|JJ disposition|NN from|IN guffawing|VBG when|WRB he|PRP reads|VBZ in|IN Pater|NNP 's|POS Marius|NNP The|DT Epicurean|NNP (|( Chapter|NNP V|NNP )|) a|DT reference|NN to|TO Apuleius|NNP '|POS The|DT Golden|NNP Ass|NNP noting|VBG that|IN all|DT through|IN the|DT book|NN ,|, there|EX is|VBZ an|DT unmistakably|RB real|JJ feeling|NN for|IN asses|NNS .|. .|. .|. ?|. 
In|IN Scott|NNP 's|VBZ The|DT Bride|NNP of|IN Lammermoor|NNP (|( Chapter|NNP VII|NNP )|) ,|, one|CD reads|VBZ about|IN a|DT boy|NN cudgelling|VBG an|DT ass|NNS ,|, and|CC one|CD goes|VBZ back|RB over|IN the|DT passage|NN to|TO reassure|VB himself|PRP that|IN it|PRP does|VBZ not|RB contain|VB a|DT typographical|JJ error|NN for|IN cuddling|VBG .|. 

One|CD may|MD be|VB indulged|JJ a|DT giggle|NN even|RB though|IN he|PRP is|VBZ sure|JJ that|IN Isak|NNP Dinesen|NNP did|VBD not|RB intend|VB an|DT impropriety|NN when|WRB she|PRP recorded|VBD in|IN Out|IN of|IN Africa|NNP (|( Part|NNP V|NNP ,|, Chapter|NN 4|LS )|) how|WRB Fathima|NNP 's|POS big|JJ white|JJ cock|NN came|VBD strutting|VBG up|RP before|IN me|PRP .|. 
And|CC one|CD is|VBZ certain|JJ that|IN Kenneth|NNP Rexroth|NNP ,|, in|IN his|PRP$ American|NNP Poetry|NNP in|IN the|DT Twentieth|NNP Century|NNP (|( Herder|NNP and|CC Herder|NNP ,|, N.Y.|NN ,|, 1971|CD )|) did|VBD not|RB intend|VB to|TO hint|VB at|IN closet|NN biographical|JJ matter|NN when|WRB ,|, in|IN Chapter|NN I|PRP ,|, he|PRP wrote|VBD that|IN Whitman|NNP 's|POS poems|NNS are|VBP full|JJ of|IN men|NNS doing|VBG things|NNS together|RB ,|, or|CC ,|, later|RB in|IN the|DT same|JJ chapter|NN ,|, when|WRB he|PRP referred|VBD to|TO Whitman|NNP 's|POS joyous|JJ workmen|NNS swinging|VBG their|PRP$ tools|NNS in|IN the|DT open|JJ air|NN .|. 
College|NNP freshman|NN still|RB read|VB with|IN flendish|NN glee|NN the|DT first|JJ line|NN in|IN Canto|NNP I|PRP of|IN Spenser|NNP 's|VBZ The|DT Faerie|NNP Queene|NNP (|( and|CC never|RB mind|VB the|DT title|NN !|. )|) that|DT tells|VBZ how|WRB 
A|DT Gentle|NNP Knight|NNP was|VBD pricking|VBG on|IN the|DT plaine|NN .|. 

In|IN his|PRP$ poem|NN Mr|NNP Nixon|NNP (|( from|IN Hugh|NNP Selwyn|NNP Mauberley|NNP )|) ,|, Ezra|NNP Pound|NNP 's|POS Mr.|NN Nixon|NNP advises|VBZ kindly|RB 
Do|VBP n't|RB kick|VB against|IN the|DT pricks|NNS ,|, 
although|IN the|DT identities|NNS of|IN the|DT latter|JJ are|VBP not|RB divulged|JJ .|. 

One|CD is|VBZ entitled|VBN to|TO speculate|VB on|IN what|WP outrageous|JJ proposal|NN the|DT narrator|NN had|VBD made|VBN in|IN Proust|NNP 's|POS Remembrance|NN of|IN Things|NNS Past|JJ ,|, Vol.|NN 2|CD —|NN Cities|NNPS of|IN the|DT Plain|NNP (|( translated|VBN by|IN C.|NN K.|NN Scott|NNP Moncrieff—|NNP Modern|NNP Library|NNP ,|, N.Y.|NN ,|, 1934|CD ,|, Page|NNP 90|CD )|) to|TO cause|VB the|DT Duchess|NNP to|TO say|VB ,|, Apart|RB from|IN your|PRP$ balls|NNS ,|, ca|MD n't|RB I|PRP be|VB of|IN any|DT use|NN to|TO you|PRP ?|. 
There|EX is|VBZ a|DT famous|JJ letter|NN penned|VBN by|IN Rupert|NNP Brooke|NNP to|TO his|PRP$ friend|NN ,|, Edward|NNP Marsh|NNP ,|, from|IN somewhere|RB near|IN Fiji|NNP (|( p.|NN 463|CD of|IN A|DT Treasury|NNP of|IN the|DT World|NNP 's|POS Great|NNP Letters|NNS ,|, Simon|NNP and|CC Schuster|NNP ,|, N.Y.|NN ,|, 1940|CD )|) in|IN which|WDT he|PRP relates|VBZ how|WRB he|PRP sends|VBZ his|PRP$ native|JJ boy|NN up|RP a|DT palm|NN tree|NN ,|, where|WRB he|PRP cuts|VBZ off|IN a|DT couple|NN of|IN vast|JJ nuts|NNS .|. .|. .|. (|( macho|JJ victim|NN not|RB disclosed|VBD )|) .|. 
In|IN the|DT first|JJ chapter|NN of|IN Uncle|NNP Tom|NNP 's|POS Cabin|NNP ,|, Miss|NNP Stowe|NNP offers|VBZ a|DT dialogue|NN between|IN Haley|NNP and|CC Mr.|NN Shelby|NNP ,|, part|NN of|IN which|WDT goes|VBZ ,|, `|`` Well|RB ,|, '|'' said|VBD Haley|NNP ,|, after|IN they|PRP had|VBD both|DT silently|RB picked|VBN their|PRP$ nuts|NNS for|IN a|DT season|NN ,|, `|`` what|WP do|VBP you|PRP say|VBP ?|. '|POS 
In|IN Bleak|NNP House|NNP (|( Chapter|NNP XXIV|NNP )|) Dickens|NNP may|MD cause|VB some|DT readers|NNS to|TO blush|NN when|WRB he|PRP wrote|VBD of|IN Mr.|NN George|NNP 's|POS blush|NN that|IN He|PRP reddened|VB a|DT little|JJ through|IN his|PRP$ brown|JJ .|. 

We|PRP must|MD move|VB ineluctably|RB to|TO a|DT consideration|NN of|IN perfectly|RB reputable|JJ words|NNS which|WDT ,|, having|VBG acquired|VBN sexual|JJ connotations|NNS ,|, cause|VB adolescent—and|NN often|RB adult—|NN hilarity|NN ,|, even|RB when|WRB read|VBN by|IN a|DT person|NN of|IN only|RB mildly|RB prurient|NN mind|NN .|. 
In|IN Forster|NNP 's|VBZ A|DT Passage|NNP to|TO India|NNP (|( Chapter|NNP XXXI|NNP )|) a|DT vivid|JJ picture|NN is|VBZ created|VBN by|IN the|DT sentence|NN Tangles|NNP like|IN this|DT still|RB interrupted|VBN their|PRP$ intercourse|NN .|. 
Pages|NNP later|RB (|( Chapter|NNP XXXVII|NNP )|) ,|, it|PRP is|VBZ acknowledged|VBN that|IN He|PRP ,|, too|RB ,|, felt|VBD that|IN this|DT was|VBD their|PRP$ last|JJ free|JJ intercourse|NN .|. 
Apparently|RB from|IN then|RB on|RB ,|, it|PRP was|VBD going|VBG to|TO have|VB to|TO be|VB cash|NN or|CC credit|NN card|NN only|RB .|. 
In|IN The|DT Bride|NNP of|IN Lammermoor|NNP (|( Chapter|NNP V|NNP )|) ,|, we|PRP are|VBP informed|VBN that|IN the|DT heroine|NN placed|VBD certain|JJ restrictions|NNS on|IN their|PRP$ intercourse|NN ,|, a|DT limitation|NN that|WDT might|MD have|VB been|VBN more|RBR usefully|RB set|VBN in|IN that|DT same|JJ author|NN 's|POS Rob|NNP Roy|NNP (|( Chapter|NNP VII|NNP )|) where|WRB we|PRP are|VBP told|VBN of|IN the|DT chance|NN that|IN the|DT narrator|NN and|CC Miss|NNP Vernon|NNP might|MD be|VB thrown|VBN into|IN very|RB close|VB and|CC frequent|JJ intercourse|NN .|. 

A|DT variation|NN of|IN this|DT theme|NN is|VBZ found|VBN in|IN Robert|NNP Browning|NNP 's|VBZ The|DT Flight|NNP of|IN the|DT Duchess|NNP (|( Section|NNP V|NNP )|) :|: —|NN Not|RB he|PRP !|. 
For|IN in|IN Paris|NNP they|PRP told|VBD the|DT elf|NN Our|PRP$ rough|JJ North|NNP land|NN was|VBD the|DT Land|NNP of|IN Lays|NNP ,|, 
even|RB though|IN it|PRP is|VBZ generally|RB acknowledged|VBN that|IN Paris|NNP is|VBZ número|NN uno|NN in|IN this|DT area|NN of|IN human|JJ activity|NN .|. 

More|JJR picturesque|NN are|VBP the|DT references|NNS to|TO erections|NNS .|. 
An|DT arresting|VBG one|CD occurs|VBZ in|IN A|DT Passage|NNP to|TO India|NNP (|( Chapter|NNP XXI|NNP )|) in|IN which|WDT Forster|NNP describes|VBZ a|DT small|JJ building|NN as|IN a|DT flimsy|JJ and|CC frivolous|JJ erection|NN ,|, while|IN in|IN The|DT Mayor|NNP of|IN Casterbridge|NNP (|( Chapter|NNP XVI|NNP )|) the|DT Mayor|NNP himself|PRP beheld|NN the|DT unattractive|JJ exterior|NN of|IN Farfrae|NNP 's|POS erection|NN .|. 
A|DT phrase|NN can|MD paint|VB an|DT astonishing|JJ picture|NN for|IN the|DT reader|NN .|. 

Consider|VB Dickens|NNP '|POS sharp|JJ image|NN in|IN Bleak|NNP House|NNP (|( Chapter|NNP LIV|NNP )|) when|WRB he|PRP describes|VBZ how|WRB Sir|NNP Leicester|NNP leans|VBZ back|RB in|IN his|PRP$ chair|NN ,|, and|CC breathlessly|RB ejaculates|NNS .|. .|. .|. .|. 
Or|CC ,|, in|IN Nicholas|NNP Nickleby|NNP (|( Chapter|NNP XLVII|NNP )|) ,|, where|WRB that|IN admirable|JJ novelist|NN graphically|RB portrays|VBZ how|WRB old|JJ Arthur|NNP Gride|NNP again|RB raised|VBD his|PRP$ hands|NNS ,|, again|RB chuckled|JJ ,|, and|CC again|RB ejaculated|JJ .|. 
And|CC in|IN his|PRP$ short|JJ tale|NN ,|, Lionizing|NNP ,|, Edgar|NNP Allan|NNP Poe|NNP is|VBZ quite|RB candid|JJ in|IN describing|VBG the|DT reaction|NN of|IN one|CD of|IN his|PRP$ characters|NNS :|: `|`` Admirable|NNP !|. '|POS he|PRP ejaculated|JJ ,|, thrown|VBN quite|RB off|IN his|PRP$ guard|NN by|IN the|DT beauty|NN of|IN the|DT manoeuvre|NN .|. 

Alas|NNP for|IN perfectly|RB lovely|JJ words|NNS that|WDT acquire|NN pejorative|JJ meanings|NNS over|IN the|DT years|NNS !|. 
Earlier|RBR in|IN this|DT century|NN ,|, pansy|NN became|VBD a|DT derogatory|JJ epithet|NN to|TO describe|VB an|DT effete|JJ male|NN ,|, thereby|RB cheapening|VBG forever|RB lines|NNS like|IN Shelley|NNP 's|POS noble|JJ image|NN in|IN Adonais|NNP (|( verse|NN XXXIII|NNP )|) :|: His|PRP$ head|NN was|VBD bound|VBN with|IN pansies|NNS over-blown|JJ ,|, 
not|RB to|TO mention|VB Poe|NNP 's|POS odd|JJ allusion|NN in|IN For|IN Annie|NNP :|: With|IN rue|NN and|CC the|DT beautiful|JJ Puritan|NNP pansies|NNS .|. 

Or|CC ,|, more|RBR slap-stickish|JJ ,|, E.F.|NN Benson|NNP 's|POS action|NN picture|NN in|IN Lucia|NNP in|IN London|NNP (|( Chapter|NN 8|CD )|) :|: Georgie|NNP stepped|VBD on|IN a|DT beautiful|JJ pansy|NN .|. 

Of|IN more|RBR recent|JJ vintage|NN is|VBZ gay|JJ .|. 
Nobody|NN used|VBN to|TO snicker|NN at|IN Chaucer|NNP 's|POS line|NN (|( No.|NN 5818|CD )|) in|IN The|DT Prologe|NNP of|IN the|DT Wyf|NNP of|IN Bathe|NNP ,|, in|IN which|WDT that|WDT harried|VBN dame|NN asks|VBZ :|: Why|WRB is|VBZ my|PRP$ neghebores|NNS wif|NN so|RB gay|JJ ?|. 

In|IN his|PRP$ poem|NN The|DT Menagerie|NNP ,|, one|CD of|IN William|NNP Vaughan|NNP Moody|NNP 's|POS characters|NNS advises|VBZ :|: If|IN nature|NN made|VBD you|PRP so|RB graceful|JJ ,|, do|VBP n't|RB get|VB gay|JJ ,|, 
while|IN in|IN Othello|NNP (|( ah|NN ,|, the|DT Bard|NNP again|RB !|. )|) in|IN his|PRP$ dialogue|NN with|IN Desdemona|NNP and|CC Emilia|NNP on|IN the|DT praise|NN of|IN women|NNS ,|, Iago|NNP refers|VBZ to|TO the|DT kind|NN that|DT Never|RB lack|NN 'd|NNP gold|NN ,|, and|CC yet|RB went|VBD never|RB gay|JJ .|. 
(|( Act|NNP II|NNP ,|, Scene|NNP I|PRP ,|, line|NN 150|CD )|) 

And|CC what|WP in|IN the|DT world|NN is|VBZ one|CD to|TO make|NN of|IN William|NNP Butler|NNP Yeats|NNP 's|POS startling|JJ revelation|NN in|IN his|PRP$ poem|NN Lapis|NNP Lazuli|NNP (|( from|IN Last|JJ Poems|NNP )|) that|DT They|PRP know|VBP that|IN Hamlet|NNP and|CC Lear|NNP are|VBP gay|JJ .|. ?|. 

Indeed|RB it|PRP is|VBZ an|DT amusing|JJ ,|, albeit|IN utterly|RB wasteful|JJ pastime|NN to|TO pursue|VB the|DT quest|NN for|IN Red|NNP Pants|NNP examples|NNS .|. 
May|NNP good|JJ cess|NNS befall|VBP all|DT such|JJ quixotically|RB misguided|JJ readers|NNS !|. 
One|CD caveat|NN :|: never|RB assume|VB blithely|RB that|IN an|DT odd|JJ word|NN or|CC suspicious|JJ phrase|NN is|VBZ as|RB lubricious|JJ as|IN it|PRP sounds|VBZ .|. 
In|IN The|DT Bride|NNP of|IN Lammermoor|NNP (|( Chapter|NNP VI|NNP )|) Bucklaw|NNP vows|VBZ ,|, I|PRP will|MD chop|VB them|PRP off|RP with|IN my|PRP$ whinger|NN ,|, and|CC one|CD feels|VBZ quite|RB let|VB down|RB when|WRB he|PRP learns|VBZ that|IN a|DT whinger|NN is|VBZ but|CC a|DT whinyard|NN ,|, which|WDT is|VBZ merely|RB a|DT short|JJ sword|NN .|. 

Turning|NNP a|DT corner|NN of|IN the|DT Mazza|NNP Gallerie|NNP into|IN a|DT women|NNS 's|POS tennis|NN store|NN ,|, I|PRP was|VBD startled|VBD to|TO see|VB .|. .|. .|. hordes|NNS of|IN giggling|VBG high|JJ school|NN girls|NNS .|. .|. .|. [|NN From|IN an|DT article|NN by|IN Dorothy|NNP Gilliam|NNP in|IN the|DT Washington|NNP Post|NNP ,|, .|. Submitted|NNP by|IN .|. ]|NN 

LIGHT|NNP REFRACTIONS|NNP 
If|IN you|PRP are|VBP a|DT fan|NN of|IN old-fashioned|JJ jazz—what|NN is|VBZ now|RB known|VBN as|IN traditional|JJ or|CC trad|NN jazz—you|NN are|VBP familiar|JJ with|IN one|CD of|IN the|DT standard|JJ jump|NN tunes|NNS of|IN the|DT genre—a|NN tune|NN most|RBS commonly|RB called|VBN Muskrat|NNP Ramble|NNP .|. 
Even|RB if|IN you|PRP are|VBP not|RB a|DT fan|NN ,|, you|PRP must|MD have|VB heard|VBN it|PRP as|IN least|JJS a|DT dozen|NN times|NNS .|. 
It|PRP is|VBZ the|DT one|CD that|WDT goes|VBZ ,|, Dah|NNP !|. 
Dah|NNP !|. 
Dah|NNP !|. 
Dah|NNP !|. 
da-dat-dat-dah|JJ !|. 
Da-de-da-de-da-de-dat-dat-dah|NNP !|. 
da-de-da-de-da-de-dat-dat-dah|JJ !|. 
That|DT 's|VBZ it|PRP ;|: sure|JJ ;|: you|PRP 've|VBP heard|VBN it|PRP .|. 

I|PRP think|VBP I|PRP first|RB bought|VBD a|DT recording|NN of|IN Muskrat|NNP Ramble|NNP back|RB in|IN about|IN 1940|CD ,|, when|WRB I|PRP was|VBD in|IN my|PRP$ early|JJ teens|NNS .|. 
My|PRP$ memory|NN is|VBZ rickety|JJ ,|, but|CC I|PRP am|VBP sure|JJ my|PRP$ first|JJ recording|NN was|VBD labeled|VBN MUSKRAT|NNP RAMBLE|NNP ,|, and|CC I|PRP think|VBP ,|, though|IN I|PRP am|VBP less|RBR sure|JJ ,|, that|IN it|PRP was|VBD played|VBN by|IN the|DT late|JJ Muggsy|NNP Spanier|NNP ,|, who|WP was|VBD ,|, to|TO my|PRP$ mind|NN ,|, one|CD of|IN the|DT greatest|JJS of|IN jazz|NN trumpeters|NNS .|. 
Later|RB ,|, I|PRP got|VBD another|DT recording|NN of|IN the|DT same|JJ tune|NN ,|, this|DT one|CD by|IN ,|, I|PRP think|VBP ,|, Mezz|NNP Mezzrow|NNP .|. 
The|DT label|NN said|VBD ,|, MUSKAT|NNP RAMBLE|NNP .|. 
I|PRP thought|VBD that|WDT was|VBD surely|RB the|DT first|JJ time|NN I|PRP had|VBD ever|RB seen|VBN such|JJ an|DT obvious|JJ typographical|JJ error|NN in|IN ,|, of|IN all|DT things|NNS ,|, a|DT simple|JJ title|NN on|IN a|DT simple|JJ 78|CD -|: rpm|NN record|NN .|. 
(|( This|DT ,|, remember|VB ,|, was|VBD in|IN my|PRP$ youth|NN ,|, and|CC it|PRP was|VBD a|DT time|NN when|WRB typographical|JJ errors|NNS were|VBD called|VBN typographical|JJ errors|NNS ,|, not|RB typos—at|NN least|JJS by|IN kids|NNS in|IN junior|JJ high|NN .|. )|) 
Some|DT time|NN later|RB ,|, I|PRP got|VBD still|RB another|DT version|NN of|IN MUSKRAT|NNP RAMBLE|NNP ,|, with|IN still|RB another|DT version|NN of|IN the|DT title|NN .|. 
This|DT time|NN ,|, it|PRP was|VBD MUSCAT|NNP RAMBLE|NNP .|. 
That|DT ,|, I|PRP thought|VBD ,|, was|VBD really|RB absurd|JJ .|. 
Not|RB only|RB had|VBD they|PRP left|VBN out|RP the|DT R|NN ;|: they|PRP 'd|MD changed|VBD the|DT K|NNP to|TO C”.|NN 
Now|RB ,|, it|PRP made|VBD no|DT sense|NN at|IN all|DT .|. 
On|IN the|DT other|JJ hand|NN ,|, I|PRP reasoned|VBD ,|, if|IN there|EX were|VBD ,|, in|IN fact|NN ,|, some|DT sort|NN of|IN cat|NN called|VBD a|DT muscat|NN ,|, perhaps|RB it|PRP was|VBD n't|RB so|RB outrageous|JJ .|. 
I|PRP looked|VBD up|RB muscat|NN in|IN my|PRP$ Webster|NNP 's|POS and|CC found|VBD that|IN it|PRP is|VBZ a|DT `|`` variety|NN of|IN grape|NN .|. 
'|POS To|TO name|VB a|DT ramble|JJ after|IN a|DT variety|NN of|IN grape|NN seemed|VBD to|TO me|PRP preposterous|JJ .|. 
I|PRP was|VBD young|JJ and|CC ,|, by|IN today|NN 's|POS standards|NNS ,|, at|IN least|JJS ,|, pathetically|RB innocent|JJ .|. 

During|IN my|PRP$ time|NN in|IN senior|JJ high|NN ,|, and|CC ,|, after|IN that|DT ,|, in|IN the|DT Army|NNP Air|NNP Force|NNP ,|, I|PRP had|VBD other|JJ things|NNS on|IN my|PRP$ mind|NN (|( there|EX was|VBD a|DT war|NN on|IN ,|, after|IN all|DT )|) ,|, and|CC I|PRP did|VBD n't|RB give|VB the|DT MUSKRAT-MUSKAT-MUSCAT|NNP RAMBLE|NNP problem|NN any|DT thought|VBD .|. 

Speaking|NN of|IN my|PRP$ time|NN in|IN the|DT AAF|NNP ,|, which|WDT was|VBD utterly|RB undistinguished|JJ ,|, I|PRP think|VBP I|PRP must|MD make|VB a|DT confession|NN .|. 
Now|RB might|MD be|VB as|IN good|JJ a|DT time|NN as|IN any|DT to|TO reveal|VB a|DT theft|NN I|PRP committed|VBD at|IN an|DT Air|NNP Force|NNP Base|NNP near|IN Seymour|NNP ,|, Indiana|NNP .|. 
It|PRP was|VBD winter|NN and|CC bitterly|RB cold|JJ .|. 
The|DT wind|NN used|VBN to|TO sweep|VB across|IN that|DT damned|RB airfield|NN with|IN what|WP seemed|VBD an|DT absolute|JJ determination|NN to|TO crystallize|NN our|PRP$ bodies|NNS .|. 
One|CD day|NN when|WRB the|DT wind|NN chill|NN factor|NN was|VBD nearing|VBG absolute|JJ zero|CD ,|, I|PRP took|VBD shelter|NN in|IN the|DT service|NN club|NN .|. 
There|EX was|VBD the|DT omnipresent|JJ phonograph|NN ,|, or|CC Vic|NNP ,|, short|JJ for|IN Victrola|NNP ,|, and|CC the|DT stack|VB of|IN records|NNS next|IN to|TO it|PRP .|. 
In|IN those|DT days|NNS ,|, people|NNS as|IN a|DT rule|NN did|VBD not|RB take|VB much|JJ care|NN of|IN phonograph|NN records|NNS .|. 
Usually|RB the|DT records|NNS were|VBD taken|VBN from|IN their|PRP$ jackets|NNS and|CC loaded|VBN naked|JJ in|IN stacks|NNS ,|, where|WRB they|PRP picked|VBD up|RB dust|NN ,|, scratched|VBN one|CD another|DT ,|, and|CC traded|VBD static|JJ electricity|NN .|. 
I|PRP was|VBD shuffling|VBG through|IN a|DT stack|VB of|IN about|IN fifty|CD records|NNS ,|, and|CC I|PRP came|VBD across|IN three|CD Bessie|NNP Smiths|NNP .|. 
I|PRP played|VBD all|DT three|CD ,|, and|CC the|DT few|JJ other|JJ G.I.|NN s|VBZ in|IN the|DT room|NN ,|, which|WDT was|VBD quite|RB large—big|NN enough|RB for|IN a|DT fair-sized|JJ dance|NN with|IN a|DT small|JJ orchestra—either|NN paid|VBD no|DT attention|NN or|CC asked|VBD me|PRP to|TO put|VB on|IN something|NN by|IN Glenn|NNP Miller|NNP or|CC Jimmy|NNP or|CC Tommy|NNP Dorsey|NNP instead|RB .|. 
Among|IN Bessie|NNP 's|POS numbers|NNS were|VBD Dying|NNP Gambler|NNP 's|POS Blues|NNP ,|, Sing|NNP Sing|NNP Prison|NNP Blues|NNP ,|, and|CC one|CD I|PRP had|VBD never|RB heard|VBN called|VBN Black|NNP Mountain|NNP Blues|NNP ,|, which|WDT has|VBZ the|DT imcomparable|JJ lines|NNS ,|, Home|NNP in|IN Black|NNP Mountain|NNP a|DT chile|NN '|'' will|MD smack|RB yo|NN '|'' face|NN ;|: Home|NNP in|IN Black|NNP Mountain|NNP a|DT chile|NN '|'' will|MD smack|RB yo|NN '|'' face|NN ;|: Babies|NNS cry|VBP for|IN liquor|NN an|DT '|POS all|PDT the|DT birds|NNS sing|VBP bass|NN .|. 
and|CC Goin|NNP '|POS back|RB to|TO Black|NNP Mountain|NNP ,|, me|PRP an|DT '|POS my|PRP$ razor|NN an|DT '|POS my|PRP$ gun|NN ;|: Goin|NNP '|POS back|RB to|TO Black|NNP Mountain|NNP ,|, me|PRP an|DT '|POS my|PRP$ razor|NN an|DT my|PRP$ gun|NN ;|: Goin|NNP '|POS cut|NN him|PRP if|IN he|PRP stan|NN '|'' still|RB ,|, goin|NN '|'' shoot|NN him|PRP if|IN he|PRP run|VBP .|. 

I|PRP was|VBD ,|, and|CC still|RB am|VBP ,|, captivated|JJ by|IN Babies|NNS cry|VBP for|IN liquor|NN an|DT '|POS the|DT birds|NNS sing|VBP bass|NN ,|, and|CC in|IN the|DT arrogance|NN of|IN my|PRP$ youth|NN ,|, I|PRP was|VBD certain|JJ that|DT nobody|NN else|RB on|IN the|DT airfield|NN either|CC knew|VBD or|CC cared|VBD who|WP Bessie|NNP Smith|NNP was|VBD ,|, nor|CC would|MD any|DT other|JJ G.I.|NN be|VB enchanted|JJ by|IN basso|NN birds|NNS ,|, so|IN I|PRP turned|VBD thief|NN .|. 
I|PRP ca|MD n't|RB remember|VB how|WRB I|PRP did|VBD it|PRP ,|, but|CC somehow|RB I|PRP smuggled|JJ those|DT records|NNS back|RB to|TO my|PRP$ barracks|NN and|CC got|VBD them|PRP home|NN intact|JJ on|IN my|PRP$ next|JJ furlough|NN .|. 
I|PRP kept|VBD them|PRP in|IN good|JJ shape|NN until|IN my|PRP$ last|JJ 78|CD -|: rpm|NN turntable|JJ died|VBD .|. 

End|NN of|IN digression|NN and|CC back|RB to|TO MUSKRAT-KAT-CAT|NNP :|: Muskrat|NNP Ramble|NNP is|VBZ credited|VBN to|TO Edward|NNP Kid|NNP Ory|NNP and|CC Ray|NNP Gilbert|NNP .|. 
Kid|NNP Ory|NNP played|VBD great|JJ jazz|NN trombone|NN .|. 
The|DT only|JJ thing|NN I|PRP know|VBP about|IN Gilbert|NNP is|VBZ that|IN I|PRP find|VBP him|PRP listed|VBD as|IN co-author|NN of|IN Muskrat|NNP Ramble|NNP .|. 

About|IN thirty|CD years|NNS ago|RB ,|, when|WRB I|PRP was|VBD concocting|VBG an|DT epicurean|NN dish|NN and|CC saw|VBD that|IN I|PRP had|VBD no|DT sherry|NN on|IN hand|NN ,|, I|PRP went|VBD to|TO the|DT liquor|NN store|NN and|CC bought|VBD a|DT bottle|NN of|IN muscatel|NN that|WDT was|VBD being|VBG sold|VBN for|IN an|DT absurdly|RB low|JJ price|NN and|CC that|IN I|PRP thought|VBD might|MD be|VB exactly|RB right|NN for|IN my|PRP$ sauce|NN .|. 
It|PRP was|VBD n't|RB bad|JJ ,|, The|DT wine|NN jogged|JJ my|PRP$ thoughts|NNS back|RB to|TO Muscat|NNP Ramble|NNP .|. 
Muscatel|NNP is|VBZ made|VBN from|IN muscat|NN grapes|NNS ,|, is|VBZ sometimes|RB called|VBN muscat|NN ,|, and|CC ,|, being|VBG relatively|RB cheap|JJ and|CC sweet|JJ and|CC high|JJ in|IN alcohol|NN content|NN ,|, is|VBZ the|DT booze|NN of|IN choice|NN for|IN a|DT great|JJ many|JJ wines|NNS .|. 
An|DT old|JJ college|NN friend|NN of|IN mine|NN who|WP celebrated|JJ his|PRP$ twentieth|NN birthday—meaning|VBG twenty|CD years|NNS of|IN AA|NN sobriety—a|NN couple|NN of|IN years|NNS ago|RB ,|, tells|VBZ me|PRP that|IN when|WRB he|PRP was|VBD on|IN the|DT skids|NNS and|CC riding|VBG the|DT rails|NNS from|IN drunk|JJ tank|NN to|TO drunk|JJ tank|NN ,|, the|DT favorite|JJ terms|NNS for|IN muscat|NN were|VBD muscadoodle|NN and|CC Napa|NNP Valley|NNP smoke|NN .|. 

I|PRP made|VBD up|RP my|PRP$ mind|NN that|IN Muscat|NNP Ramble|NNP was|VBD almost|RB certainly|RB the|DT original|JJ name|NN of|IN the|DT tune|NN .|. 
My|PRP$ reasoning|NN is|VBZ that|IN it|PRP is|VBZ not|RB likely|JJ that|IN Kid|NNP Ory|NNP or|CC Ray|NNP Gilbert|NNP had|VBD ever|RB seen|VBN a|DT muskrat|NN ,|, and|CC it|PRP 's|VBZ even|RB less|RBR likely|JJ that|IN they|PRP or|CC anyone|NN else|RB has|VBZ ever|RB seen|VBN a|DT muskrat|NN doing|VBG anything|NN that|IN we|PRP would|MD be|VB likely|JJ to|TO think|VB of|IN as|IN rambling|VBG .|. 
Muskrats|NNP ,|, according|VBG to|TO my|PRP$ encyclopedia|NN ,|, look|VB like|IN giant|NN rats|NNS ,|, are|VBP found|VBN in|IN and|CC around|IN the|DT mudbanks|NNS bordering|VBG marshes|NNS and|CC quiet|JJ ponds|NNS ,|, have|VBP partially|RB webbed|JJ feet|NNS ,|, and|CC do|VBP a|DT good|JJ deal|NN of|IN swimming|NN .|. 
They|PRP do|VBP not|RB appear|VB to|TO do|VB much|RB rambling|VBG .|. 
Muscat|NNP ,|, or|CC muscatel|NN ,|, on|IN the|DT other|JJ hand|NN ,|, is|VBZ found|VBN on|IN skid|NN rows|NNS all|DT over|IN the|DT land|NN .|. 
A|DT guy|NN with|IN a|DT bottle-shaped|JJ brown|JJ paper|NN bag|NN ,|, damp|VB and|CC wrinkled|JJ at|IN its|PRP$ upper|JJ end|NN ,|, has|VBZ almost|RB certainly|RB been|VBN slugging|VBG down|RP a|DT sweet|JJ wine|NN of|IN high|JJ proof|NN ,|, and|CC the|DT odds|NNS are|VBP pretty|RB good|JJ you|PRP would|MD find|VB it|PRP is|VBZ a|DT muscadoodle|NN .|. 
After|IN the|DT guy|NN finishes|VBZ his|PRP$ Napa|NNP Valley|NNP smoke|NN and|CC has|VBZ slept|VBD it|PRP off|RP ,|, he|PRP is|VBZ looking|VBG for|IN the|DT means|NNS to|TO get|VB another|DT muscat|NN fix|NN .|. 
Now|RB he|PRP is|VBZ on|IN a|DT ramble|JJ with|IN his|PRP$ hand|NN out|IN and|CC a|DT pleading|VBG look|NN in|IN his|PRP$ roadmapped|JJ eyes|NNS .|. 
I|PRP suspect|VBP that|IN that|DT is|VBZ precisely|RB the|DT song|NN 's|POS origin|NN .|. 

My|PRP$ theory|NN is|VBZ that|IN the|DT r|LS got|VBD put|VBN in|IN there|RB simply|RB because|IN muskrat|NN is|VBZ a|DT more|RBR common|JJ word|NN than|IN muscat|NN .|. It|PRP is|VBZ the|DT same|JJ reason|NN most|JJS of|IN us|PRP ,|, I|PRP assume|VBP ,|, have|VBP heard|VBN ,|, He|PRP 's|VBZ in|IN the|DT hospital|NN with|IN prostrate|NN trouble|NN .|. 
Prostrate|NNP is|VBZ a|DT more|RBR common|JJ word|NN that|DT prostate|NN ,|, so|RB prostrate|NN is|VBZ what|WP we|PRP get|VBP .|. 
The|DT r|LS fits|VBZ in|IN naturally|RB .|. 
I|PRP got|VBD a|DT strange|JJ sort|NN of|IN corroboration|NN from|IN my|PRP$ good|JJ friend|NN Rosy|NNP McHargue|NNP ,|, who|WP is|VBZ now|RB pushing|VBG eighty-seven|CD years|NNS and|CC has|VBZ spent|VBN most|JJS of|IN his|PRP$ life|NN playing|VBG clarinet|NN and|CC sax|NN with|IN some|DT of|IN the|DT best|JJS jazzbands—|NN Benny|NNP Goodman|NNP ,|, Red|NNP Nichols|NNP ,|, Ted|NNP Weems|NNP ,|, and|CC a|DT slew|NN of|IN others|NNS .|. 
Rosy|NNP ,|, too|RB ,|, had|VBD seen|VBN the|DT tune|NN as|IN Muskrat|NNP ,|, Muskat|NNP ,|, and|CC Muscat|NNP .|. 
I|PRP asked|VBD him|PRP what|WP he|PRP thought|VBD the|DT original|JJ title|NN was|VBD .|. 
He|PRP had|VBD known|VBN Kid|NNP Ory|NNP well|RB ,|, and|CC he|PRP said|VBD ,|, You|PRP know|VBP ,|, Tom|NNP ,|, I|PRP 'm|VBP not|RB exactly|RB sure|JJ .|. 
I|PRP once|RB asked|VBD Ory|NNP about|IN it|PRP and|CC he|PRP said|VBD ,|, `|`` It|PRP 's|VBZ m-u-s-c-a-t|JJ .|. 
Muskrat|NNP .|. '|POS 
So|IN I|PRP think|VBP that|DT 's|VBZ just|RB the|DT way|NN everyone|NN said|VBD muscat|NN .|. 

There|EX you|PRP are|VBP .|. 
I|PRP find|VBP a|DT muskrat|NN ramble|JJ difficult|JJ to|TO imagine|VB visually|RB .|. 
I|PRP picture|VBP muskrats|NNS wallowing|VBG about|IN in|IN the|DT mire|NN and|CC paddling|VBG sluggishly|RB through|IN the|DT water|NN ,|, but|CC I|PRP would|MD n't|RB call|VB that|DT rambling|VBG .|. 
On|IN the|DT other|JJ hand|NN ,|, a|DT wino|NN with|IN an|DT empty|JJ paper|NN bag|NN on|IN a|DT ramble|JJ to|TO maintain|VB his|PRP$ muscat|NN level—now|NN that|WDT has|VBZ a|DT touch|NN of|IN poetry|NN .|. 
Maybe|RB not|RB in|IN the|DT same|JJ class|NN with|IN all|PDT the|DT birds|NNS sing|VBP bass|NN ,|, but|CC poetry|NN ,|, nevertheless|RB .|. 

As|IN a|DT nonexpert|NN ,|, although|IN interested|JJ ,|, subscriber|NN to|TO VERBATIM|NNP ,|, it|PRP is|VBZ a|DT bit|NN mysterious|JJ to|TO me|PRP that|IN the|DT singular|NN noun|NN absence|NN takes|VBZ the|DT plural|NN verb|NN are|VBP .|. I|PRP refer|VBP to|TO the|DT first|JJ sentence|NN of|IN your|PRP$ article|NN about|IN the|DT Longman|NNP Dictionary|NNP [|NN XV|NNP ,|, 1|CD ]|NN .|. 

Helen|NNP W.|NN Power|NNP ,|, in|IN Women|NNP on|IN Language|NNP ;|: Women|NNP in|IN Language|NNP ,|, [|NN XV|NNP ,|, 2|CD ]|NN may|MD bewail|NN the|DT insensitivity|NN of|IN the|DT male|NN .|. 
But|CC she|PRP betrays|NNS her|PRP$ own|JJ elitist|NN insensitivity|NN when|WRB she|PRP describes|VBZ a|DT flight|NN attendant|NN as|IN the|DT person|NN who|WP passes|VBZ peanuts|NNS on|IN an|DT airplane|NN .|. 
I|PRP hope|VBP Ms.|NN /|NN Miss|NNP /|NN Mrs.|NN Power|NNP never|RB needs|VBZ to|TO draw|VB on|IN the|DT considerable|JJ first-aid|JJ and|CC emergency|NN training|NN that|IN every|DT attendant|NN must|MD master|VB .|. 

Antipodean|NNP Newsletter|NNP 
Leonard|NNP Bloomfield|NNP ,|, having|VBG begun|VBN with|IN a|DT theory|NN of|IN meaning|VBG which|WDT emphasized|VBD the|DT environment|NN in|IN which|WDT objects|NNS were|VBD present|JJ and|CC named|VBN ,|, had|VBD to|TO add|VB the|DT obvious|JJ proviso|NN that|IN we|PRP sometimes|RB mention|VBP what|WP is|VBZ not|RB present|JJ .|. 
I|PRP have|VBP lately|RB been|VBN reading|VBG accounts|NNS of|IN the|DT exploration|NN of|IN the|DT western|JJ and|CC northwestern|NN deserts|NNS of|IN Australia|NNP in|IN the|DT 1870s|NN and|CC I|PRP have|VBP become|VBN very|RB aware|JJ of|IN the|DT effect|NN absent|JJ necessities|NNS might|MD have|VB on|IN the|DT frequency|NN of|IN particular|JJ items|NNS in|IN discourse|NN .|. 
In|IN the|DT desert|NN the|DT missing|VBG necessity|NN is|VBZ water|NN .|. 
As|IN the|DT explorer|NN Ernest|NNP Giles|NNP put|VBD it|PRP ,|, the|DT explorer|NN 's|POS experience|NN is|VBZ a|DT baptism|NN worse|JJR than|IN that|DT of|IN fire—the|NN baptism|NN of|IN no|DT water|NN .|. 

My|PRP$ impression|NN was|VBD that|IN in|IN the|DT journals|NNS of|IN desert|NN explorers|NNS the|DT word|NN water|NN ,|, alone|RB or|CC in|IN compounds|NNS ,|, and|CC words|NNS relating|VBG to|TO water|VB ,|, were|VBD unusually|RB frequent|JJ .|. 
It|PRP is|VBZ ,|, I|PRP suppose|VBP ,|, likely|JJ that|IN people|NNS with|IN little|JJ money|NN must|MD think|VB of|IN money|NN more|JJR than|IN the|DT well-off|JJ do|VBP and|CC that|IN the|DT hungry|JJ will|MD dwell|NN on|IN thoughts|NNS of|IN food|NN and|CC the|DT thirsty|JJ on|IN drink|NN .|. 
Here|RB was|VBD a|DT chance|NN to|TO quantify|VB such|JJ things|NNS .|. 
I|PRP decided|VBD to|TO make|VB a|DT count|NN of|IN words|NNS relating|VBG to|TO water|VB in|IN reports|NNS of|IN desert|NN exploration|NN .|. 

Taking|VBG quite|RB at|IN random|JJ a|DT single|JJ page|NN (|( page|NN 7|CD )|) in|IN the|DT journals|NNS of|IN the|DT Gregory|NNP brothers|NNS recording|VBG an|DT early|JJ (|( 1846|CD )|) exploration|NN of|IN country|NN east|JJ and|CC north|RB of|IN Perth|NNP ,|, I|PRP find|VBP the|DT word|NN water|NN used|VBD fifteen|CD times|NNS .|. 
Ten|CD pages|NNS on|IN (|( page|NN 17|CD )|) ,|, water|NN occurs|VBZ nine|CD times|NNS but|CC there|EX are|VBP also|RB the|DT related|VBN words|NNS stream|NN (|( twice|RB )|) ,|, well|RB (|( twice|RB )|) ,|, pool|NN ,|, channel|NN ,|, and|CC the|DT circumlocution|NN essential|JJ element|NN .|. 
Two|CD words|NNS ,|, dew|NN and|CC shower|VB ,|, refer|VBP in|IN the|DT context|NN to|TO the|DT presence|NN of|IN water|NN ;|: the|DT rest|NN are|VBP in|IN contexts|NNS indicating|VBG its|PRP$ absence|NN .|. 

I|PRP tried|VBD another|DT explorer|NN ,|, Ernest|NNP Giles|NNP .|. 
Taking|VBG page|NN 17|CD again|RB ,|, I|PRP was|VBD reminded|VBN that|IN Giles|NNP is|VBZ rather|RB given|VBN to|TO semi-serious|JJ poetic|JJ diction|NN at|IN times|NNS ,|, and|CC we|PRP find|VBP him|PRP referring|VBG to|TO the|DT presence|NN of|IN water|NN in|IN the|DT Finke|NNP River|NNP as|IN the|DT stream|NN purling|VBG over|IN its|PRP$ stony|NN floor|NN or|CC ,|, quoting|VBG some|DT bygone|JJ poet|NN ,|, brightly|RB the|DT brook|NN through|IN the|DT green|JJ leaflets|NNS ,|, giddy|JJ with|IN joyousness|NNS ,|, dances|NNS along|IN .|. 
Perhaps|RB present|JJ water|NN called|VBN for|IN some|DT stylistic|JJ celebration|NN .|. 
Two|CD hundred|CD pages|NNS further|RB on|IN there|EX is|VBZ less|JJR exuberance|NN in|IN the|DT circumlocution|NN that|IN fluid|JJ so|RB terribly|RB scarce|JJ in|IN the|DT region|NN ,|, and|CC in|IN three|CD other|JJ references|NNS water|NN is|VBZ simply|RB water|NN .|. 
Giles|NNP is|VBZ not|RB always|RB waxing|VBG poetic|JJ and|CC may|MD ,|, like|IN other|JJ explorers|NNS ,|, be|VB useful|JJ as|IN a|DT source|NN for|IN the|DT history|NN of|IN Australian|JJ and|CC general|JJ English|NNP .|. 
His|PRP$ use|NN of|IN the|DT word|NN tank|NN to|TO refer|VB to|TO a|DT hollowed-out|JJ reservoir|NN (|( Gibson|NNP dug|VBD a|DT small|JJ tank|NN and|CC the|DT water|NN soon|RB cleared|VBD )|) antedates|NNS the|DT OED|NNP ,|, for|IN instance|NN .|. 

Since|IN this|DT linguistic-statistical|JJ study|NN of|IN an|DT obsession|NN might|MD well|RB prove|VB to|TO be|VB an|DT important|JJ contribution|NN to|TO psycholinguistics|NNS ,|, I|PRP decided|VBD to|TO make|VB a|DT larger|JJR sample|NN of|IN watery|JJ words|NNS ,|, choosing|VBG the|DT straightforward|JJ journals|NNS of|IN Colonel|NNP Peter|NNP Egerton|NNP Warburton|NNP ,|, who|WP led|VBD an|DT expedition|NN across|IN the|DT western|JJ interior|NN of|IN Australia|NNP in|IN 1873|CD -|: 4|CD .|. 
In|IN a|DT randomly|RB chosen|VBN sequence|NN of|IN ten|CD pages|NNS (|( 151|CD -|: 60|CD of|IN the|DT published|VBN journal|NN )|) there|EX were|VBD twenty-eight|CD occurrences|NNS of|IN the|DT word|NN water|NN (|( eight|CD of|IN them|PRP in|IN compounds|NNS )|) ,|, no|DT page|NN being|VBG without|IN at|IN least|JJS one|CD example|NN .|. 
In|IN addition|NN ,|, there|EX was|VBD a|DT rich|JJ collection|NN of|IN words|NNS relating|VBG to|TO water|VB ,|, not|RB necessarily|RB indicating|VBG its|PRP$ presence|NN .|. 
Hoping|VBG to|TO find|VB a|DT lake|NN is|VBZ included|VBN ,|, though|IN of|IN course|NN it|PRP does|VBZ n't|RB indicate|VB the|DT presence|NN of|IN water|NN .|. 
Even|RB words|NNS which|WDT are|VBP usually|RB of|IN more|RBR general|JJ reference|NN are|VBP brought|VBN into|IN relation|NN with|IN water|NN in|IN a|DT text|NN like|IN this|DT .|. 
Gum-trees|NNP or|CC rocks|NNS (|( in|IN areas|NNS of|IN sand|NN )|) appear|VB as|IN signs|NNS of|IN possible|JJ water|NN .|. 
Apart|RB from|IN these|DT words|NNS and|CC lake|NN ,|, words|NNS and|CC phrases|NNS directly|RB associated|VBN with|IN thoughts|NNS of|IN water|NN and|CC reinforcing|VBG the|DT sense|NN of|IN obsession|NN include|VBP pool|NN ,|, springs|VBZ ,|, drainage|NN hole|NN ,|, clay|NN hole|NN ,|, flood|NN ,|, channel|NN ,|, water-courses|JJ ,|, water-hole|JJ ,|, rock-hole|JJ ,|, drink|NN ,|, drinkable|JJ ,|, running|VBG water|NN ,|, stream|NN ,|, and|CC native|JJ well|RB .|. 

The|DT last|JJ two|CD items|NNS merit|VBP comment|NN .|. 
Stream|NNP is|VBZ often|RB said|VBN not|RB to|TO be|VB used|VBN in|IN Australia|NNP except|IN in|IN metaphorical|JJ ways|NNS ,|, normally|RB being|VBG replaced|VBN by|IN creek|NN .|. 
Warburton|NNP 's|POS use|NN :|: sandbanks|NNS intercept|NN the|DT stream|NN ,|, which|WDT finally|RB splits|VBZ into|IN narow|NN water-courses|JJ and|CC spreads|NNS itself|PRP over|IN the|DT plains|NNS ,|, and|CC so|IN it|PRP ends|VBZ as|IN a|DT creek|NN suggests|VBZ a|DT somewhat|RB more|RBR complex|JJ relation|NN between|IN the|DT two|CD words|NNS .|. 
British-born|JJ explorers|NNS did|VBD not|RB set|VBN out|IN to|TO write|VB Australian|NNP English|NNP ,|, of|IN course|NN .|. 
Gregory|NNP uses|VBZ stream|NN in|IN the|DT way|NN normal|JJ in|IN England|NNP ;|: Giles|NNP consistently|RB refers|VBZ to|TO gens|NNS in|IN the|DT hills|NNS of|IN central|JJ Australia|NNP ,|, though|IN glen|NN is|VBZ not|RB current|JJ (|( outside|IN place-names|JJ )|) in|IN contemporary|JJ Australian|NNP English|NNP .|. 

The|DT other|JJ name|NN ,|, native|JJ well|RB is|VBZ ,|, as|IN a|DT later|JJ explorer|NN David|NNP Carnegie|NNP ,|, author|NN of|IN Spinifex|NNP and|CC Sand|NN (|( 1898|CD )|) ,|, points|NNS out|IN ,|, a|DT misnomer|NN .|. 
He|PRP believes|VBZ native|JJ wells|NNS are|VBP essentially|RB rock-holes|JJ (|( depressions|NNS in|IN rock|NN )|) buried|VBN in|IN fairly|RB shallow|JJ sand|NN ,|, which|WDT ,|, when|WRB hollowed|JJ out|IN by|IN the|DT natives|NNS ,|, appear|VB to|TO be|VB wells|NNS .|. 
This|DT sort|NN of|IN misnomer|NN leads|VBZ Carnegie|NNP to|TO suppose|VB that|IN to|TO the|DT uninitiated|JJ no|DT map|NN is|VBZ so|RB misleading|JJ as|IN that|DT of|IN West|NNP Australia|NNP where|WRB lakes|NNS are|VBP salt-bogs|JJ without|IN surface|NN water|NN ,|, springs|VBZ seldom|RB run|VB ,|, and|CC native|JJ `|`` wells|NNS '|'' are|NN merely|RB tiny|JJ holes|NNS in|IN the|DT rock|NN ,|, yielding|VBG from|IN 0|CD to|TO 200|CD gallons|NNS .|. 

Carnegie|NNP also|RB describes|VBZ namma-holes|JJ and|CC soaks|NNS as|IN sources|NNS of|IN water|NN .|. 
Soaks|NNP are|VBP shallow|JJ wells|NNS sunk|VBN near|IN the|DT base|NN of|IN an|DT outcrop|NN to|TO tap|VB an|DT underground|JJ reservoir|NN .|. 
Namma-holes|NNP have|VBP been|VBN variously|RB described|VBN ;|: to|TO Carnegie|NNP they|PRP are|VBP depressions|NNS on|IN the|DT surface|NN of|IN rocks|NNS ,|, often|RB with|IN a|DT rounded|JJ bottom|NN ,|, where|WRB stones|NNS are|VBP often|RB found|VBN ,|, suggesting|VBG that|IN the|DT stones|NNS have|VBP something|NN to|TO do|VB with|IN the|DT formation|NN of|IN the|DT holes|NNS .|. 

Some|DT nostalgic|JJ early|JJ Australians|NNPS deplored|JJ the|DT loss|NN in|IN our|PRP$ speech|NN of|IN English|NNP country|NN words|NNS ,|, the|DT glens|NNS and|CC streams|NNS (|( alive|JJ ,|, anyway|RB ,|, in|IN the|DT journals|NNS of|IN explorers|NNS )|) ,|, coppices|NNS and|CC brooks|NNS ,|, woods|NNS ,|, becks|NNS ,|, and|CC rivulets|NNS .|. 
Perhaps|RB these|DT words|NNS did|VBD not|RB really|RB fit|VB .|. 
We|PRP might|MD have|VB done|VBN better|JJR with|IN Arabic-speaking|NNP settlers|NNS .|. 
Wadi|NNP ,|, for|IN instance|NN ,|, would|MD describe|VB an|DT inland|RB creek|NN rather|RB well|RB .|. 
Be|VB that|IN as|IN it|PRP may|MD ,|, a|DT later|RB Australian|JJ visitor|NN to|TO English|NNP drizzle|NN might|MD feel|VB nostalgic|JJ when|WRB thinking|NN of|IN the|DT parched|VBN and|CC thirsty|JJ but|CC water-obsessed|JJ vocabulary|JJ developed|VBN in|IN the|DT drier|NN areas|NNS of|IN our|PRP$ sunburnt|NN land|NN .|. 

Favorite|NNP Grammatical|NNP Game|NNP :|: Puzzling|NNP Pronouns|NNP 
Here|RB is|VBZ a|DT game|NN just|RB made|VBD to|TO while|IN away|RB the|DT hours|NNS on|IN a|DT commuter|NN train|NN with|IN your|PRP$ favorite|JJ author|NN ,|, a|DT perfect|JJ place|NN to|TO hunt|VB for|IN Puzzling|NNP Pronouns|NNP .|. 

Fowler|NNP lists|VBZ five|CD instances|NNS where|WRB a|DT careless|JJ writer|NN can|MD go|VB wrong|JJ .|. 
There|EX is|VBZ really|RB no|DT excuse|NN ,|, Fowler|NNP says|VBZ (|( not|RB he|PRP says|VBZ !|. )|) ,|, but|CC here|RB we|PRP give|VBP examples|NNS of|IN his|PRP$ third|JJ case|NN only|RB ,|, where|WRB there|EX should|MD not|RB be|VB two|CD parties|NNS justifying|VBG even|RB a|DT momentary|JJ doubt|NN about|IN which|WDT the|DT pronoun|NN represents|VBZ .|. 
And|CC here|RB the|DT deluge|NN of|IN printed|VBN matter|NN abounds|VBZ with|IN such|JJ specimens|NNS that|IN one|CD would|MD suppose|VB them|PRP to|TO be|VB the|DT rule|NN rather|RB than|IN the|DT exceptions|NNS .|. 
It|PRP is|VBZ a|DT game|NN that|WDT is|VBZ like|IN fishing|VBG in|IN a|DT barrel|NN ,|, but|CC more|JJR stimulating|VBG mentally|RB .|. 
I|PRP am|VBP not|RB picking|VBG on|IN the|DT following|JJ authors|NNS ;|: it|PRP is|VBZ just|RB a|DT random|JJ catch|NN .|. 

In|IN Thomas|NNP Hardy|NNP 's|VBZ The|DT Hand|NNP of|IN Ethelberta|NNP ,|, it|PRP is|VBZ suggested|VBN by|IN Ethelberta|NNP that|IN she|PRP and|CC some|DT others|NNS go|VBP to|TO see|VB Milton|NNP 's|POS tomb|NN in|IN Cripplegate|NNP church|NN .|. 
Her|PRP$ suitor|NN ,|, Neigh|NNP ,|, who|WP had|VBD proposed|VBN marriage|NN in|IN a|DT previous|JJ chapter|NN ,|, appears|VBZ somewhat|RB apprehensive|JJ at|IN Ethelberta|NNP 's|POS suggestion|NN .|. 
This|DT apprehension|NN is|VBZ observed|VBN by|IN a|DT Mr.|NN Belmaine|NNP and|CC mistaken|VBN by|IN him|PRP for|IN an|DT indication|NN that|IN Neigh|NNP has|VBZ been|VBN dragged|VBN into|IN going|VBG to|TO the|DT church|NN against|IN his|PRP$ will|MD by|IN his|PRP$ over-hasty|JJ wife|NN .|. 
One|CD wonders|VBZ whether|IN the|DT marriage|NN had|VBD secretly|RB taken|VBN place|NN between|IN the|DT consecutive|JJ chapters|NNS !|. 
You|PRP see|VBP ,|, it|PRP is|VBZ Belmaine|NNP 's|POS wife|NN who|WP was|VBD doing|VBG the|DT dragging|VBG .|. 

Somerset|NNP Maugham|NNP was|VBD a|DT good|JJ and|CC careful|JJ grammarian|NN but|CC now|RB and|CC then|RB he|PRP slipped|VBD .|. 
In|IN The|DT Letter|NNP ,|, a|DT solicitor|NN ,|, Mr.|NN Joyce|NNP ,|, is|VBZ approached|VBN by|IN a|DT Mr.|NN Crosbie|NNP :|: He|PRP spoke|VBD beautiful|JJ English|NNP ,|, accenting|VBG each|DT word|NN with|IN precision|NN ,|, and|CC Mr.|NN Joyce|NNP had|VBD often|RB wondered|VBD at|IN the|DT extent|NN of|IN his|PRP$ vocabulary|JJ .|. .|. .|. .|. 

Sometimes|RB I|PRP wonder|VBP about|IN the|DT extent|NN of|IN my|PRP$ own|JJ vocabulary|JJ ,|, too|RB ,|, but|CC really|RB ,|, not|RB when|WRB I|PRP 'm|VBP interviewing|VBG a|DT client|NN .|. 

From|IN The|DT Once|RB and|CC Future|NNP King|NNP ,|, by|IN T.|NN H.|NN White|NNP :|: Naturally|RB it|PRP was|VBD Lancelot|NNP who|WP rescued|VBD her|PRP .|. 
Sir|NNP Boss|NNP had|VBD managed|VBN to|TO find|VB him|PRP at|IN the|DT abbey|NN ,|, during|IN his|PRP$ two|CD days|NNS '|POS absence|NN ,|, and|CC now|RB he|PRP came|VBD back|RB in|IN the|DT nick|NN of|IN time|NN to|TO fight|VB Sir|NNP Mador|NNP for|IN the|DT queen|NN .|. 
Nobody|NN who|WP knew|VBD him|PRP would|MD have|VB expected|VBD him|PRP to|TO do|VB anything|NN else|RB ,|, whether|IN he|PRP had|VBD been|VBN sent|VBN away|RB in|IN disgrace|NN or|CC not—but|NN ,|, as|IN it|PRP was|VBD thought|VBN he|PRP had|VBD left|VBN the|DT country|NN ,|, his|PRP$ return|NN did|VBD have|VB a|DT dramatic|JJ quality|NN .|. 

Not|RB to|TO say|VB a|DT quality|NN of|IN confusion—pronoun-cedly|JJ so|RB .|. 

From|IN Oh|UH What|WP a|DT Paradise|NNP it|PRP Seems|VBZ ,|, by|IN John|NNP Cheever|NNP :|: The|DT size|NN of|IN Chisholm|NNP 's|POS teeth|NNS ,|, the|DT thickness|NN of|IN his|PRP$ glasses|NNS ,|, his|PRP$ stoop|NN and|CC the|DT spring|NN with|IN which|WDT he|PRP walked|VBD all|DT marked|VBD him|PRP ,|, Sears|NNP thought|VBD ,|, as|IN a|DT single-minded|JJ reformer|NN .|. 
His|PRP$ marriage|NN ,|, Sears|NNP guessed|VBD ,|, would|MD have|VB been|VBN unsuccessful|JJ and|CC his|PRP$ children|NNS would|MD have|VB difficulty|NN finding|VBG themselves|PRP .|. 

No|DT wonder|NN —|NN we|PRP 've|VBP lost|VBN them|PRP already|RB .|. 

Mark|NNP Twain|NNP poses|VBZ us|PRP a|DT little|JJ mystery|NN in|IN Pudd|NNP '|POS nhead|NN Wilson|NNP :|: which|WDT knife|NN does|VBZ the|DT killing|VBG ?|. 
Quiet|NNP now|RB .|. 
Lights|NNP ,|, action|NN :|: 
I|PRP was|VBD asleep|RB ,|, but|CC Luigi|NNP was|VBD awake|JJ ,|, and|CC he|PRP thought|VBD he|PRP detected|VBD a|DT vague|JJ form|NN nearing|VBG the|DT bed|NN .|. 
He|PRP slipped|VBD the|DT knife|NN out|IN of|IN the|DT sheath|NN and|CC was|VBD ready|JJ ,|, and|CC unembarrassed|JJ by|IN hampering|VBG bedclothes|NNS ,|, for|IN the|DT weather|NN was|VBD hot|JJ and|CC we|PRP had|VBD n't|RB any|DT .|. 
Suddenly|RB that|IN native|NN rose|VBD at|IN the|DT bedside|NN ,|, and|CC bent|NN over|IN me|PRP with|IN his|PRP$ right|JJ hand|NN lifted|VBN and|CC a|DT dirk|NN in|IN it|PRP aimed|VBD at|IN my|PRP$ throat|NN ;|: but|CC Luigi|NNP grabbed|VBD his|PRP$ wrist|NN ,|, pulled|VBD him|PRP downward|JJ ,|, and|CC drove|VBD his|PRP$ own|JJ knife|NN into|IN the|DT man|NN 's|POS neck|NN .|. 
That|DT is|VBZ the|DT whole|JJ story|NN .|. 

Well|RB ,|, was|VBD it|PRP Luigi|NNP 's|VBZ knife|NN or|CC the|DT native|NN 's|POS ?|. 
If|IN we|PRP had|VBD only|RB that|DT scene|NN to|TO go|VB by|IN we|PRP would|MD never|RB really|RB know|VB ,|, and|CC all|DT because|IN of|IN a|DT Puzzling|NNP Pronoun|NNP —|NN or|CC two|CD !|. 
Oh|UH ,|, it|PRP can|MD lead|VB one|CD to|TO a|DT rhymed|VBD couplet|NN :|: He|PRP loves|VBZ his|PRP$ brother|NN and|CC his|PRP$ wife|NN ,|, Does|VBZ he|PRP live|VBP a|DT double|JJ life|NN ?|. 

Give|VB me|PRP my|PRP$ grammatical|JJ games|NNS any|DT day|NN to|TO a|DT crossword|NN puzzle|NN .|. 

The|DT Joys|NNP and|CC Oys|NNP of|IN Yiddish|JJ 
Rabbi|NNP Robert|NNP Schenkerman|NNP 

Temple|NNP Beth|NNP Jacob|NNP 

When|WRB Isaac|NNP Bashevis|NNP Singer|NNP was|VBD awarded|VBN the|DT Nobel|NNP Prize|NNP for|IN Literature|NNP in|IN 1978|CD ,|, he|PRP remarked|VBD in|IN his|PRP$ acceptance|NN speech|NN :|: The|DT high|JJ honor|NN bestowed|VBN upon|IN me|PRP is|VBZ also|RB a|DT recognition|NN of|IN the|DT Yiddish|JJ language—a|NN language|NN of|IN exile|NN ,|, without|IN a|DT land|NN ,|, without|IN frontiers|NNS ,|, not|RB supported|VBN by|IN any|DT government|NN ,|, a|DT language|NN which|WDT possesses|VBZ no|DT words|NNS for|IN weapons|NNS ,|, ammunition|NN ,|, military|JJ exercises|NNS ,|, war|NN tactics|NNS .|. 
There|EX is|VBZ a|DT quiet|JJ humor|NN in|IN Yiddish|JJ and|CC a|DT gratitude|NN for|IN every|DT day|NN of|IN life|NN ,|, every|DT crumb|NN of|IN success|NN ,|, each|DT encounter|NN of|IN love|NN .|. 
In|IN a|DT figurative|JJ way|NN ,|, Yiddish|JJ is|VBZ the|DT wise|JJ and|CC humble|JJ language|NN of|IN us|PRP all|DT ,|, the|DT idiom|NN of|IN a|DT frightened|JJ and|CC hopeful|JJ humanity|NN .|. 

The|DT word|NN Yiddish|JJ derives|VBZ from|IN the|DT German|JJ judisch|NN `|`` Jewish|JJ .|. '|POS 
The|DT principal|JJ parent|NN of|IN Yiddish|JJ is|VBZ High|JJ German|JJ ,|, the|DT form|NN of|IN German|JJ encountered|VBN by|IN Jewish|JJ settlers|NNS from|IN northern|JJ France|NNP in|IN the|DT eleventh|NN century|NN .|. 
Yiddish|JJ is|VBZ written|VBN in|IN the|DT characters|NNS of|IN the|DT Hebrew|NNP alphabet|NN and|CC from|IN right|NN to|TO left|VBD and|CC enjoys|VBZ borrowing|NN words|NNS from|IN Russian|JJ ,|, Polish|JJ ,|, English|NNP ,|, and|CC all|PDT the|DT other|JJ languages|NNS and|CC countries|NNS along|IN the|DT routes|NNS that|IN Jews|NNPS have|VBP traveled|VBN during|IN the|DT past|JJ thousand|CD years|NNS .|. 
Journalist|NNP Charles|NNP Rappaport|NNP once|RB quipped|VBD ,|, I|PRP speak|VBP ten|CD languages—all|NN of|IN them|PRP Yiddish|JJ .|. 

Although|IN Yiddish|JJ has|VBZ been|VBN in|IN danger|NN of|IN dying|VBG out|IN for|IN hundreds|NNS of|IN years|NNS ,|, the|DT language|NN is|VBZ spoken|VBN today|NN by|IN millions|NNS of|IN people|NNS throughout|IN the|DT world—|NN Russia|NNP ,|, Poland|NNP ,|, Rumania|NNP ,|, France|NNP ,|, England|NNP ,|, Israel|NNP ,|, Africa|NNP ,|, Latin|NNP America|NNP ,|, New|NNP Zealand|NNP ,|, Australia|NNP ,|, Canada|NNP ,|, and|CC the|DT United|NNP States|NNPS ,|, where|WRB ,|, like|IN the|DT bagel|NN ,|, it|PRP was|VBD leavened|JJ on|IN both|DT coasts|NNS ,|, in|IN New|NNP York|NNP and|CC Hollywood|NNP .|. 
It|PRP is|VBZ spoken|VBN even|RB in|IN Transylvania|NNP :|: A|DT beautiful|JJ girl|NN awakens|NNS in|IN bed|NN to|TO find|VB a|DT vampire|NN at|IN her|PRP$ side|NN .|. 
Quickly|NNP she|PRP holds|VBZ up|RP a|DT cross|NN .|. 
Zie|NNP gernisht|NN helfen|NN ,|, smiles|VBZ the|DT vampire|NN .|. 
Translation|NN :|: It|PRP wo|MD n't|RB do|VB you|PRP any|DT good|NN .|. 

Most|JJS of|IN us|PRP already|RB speak|VBP a|DT fair|JJ amount|NN of|IN Yiddish|JJ (|( Yinglish|NNP )|) without|IN fully|RB realizing|VBG it|PRP .|. 
Webster|NNP 's|POS Third|NNP New|NNP International|NNP Dictionary|NNP lists|NNS about|IN 500|CD Yiddish|JJ words|NNS that|WDT have|VBP become|VBN part|NN of|IN our|PRP$ everyday|JJ conversations|NNS ,|, including|VBG :|: 
cockamamy|NN (|( or|CC cockamamie|NN )|) `|`` mixed-up|JJ ,|, ridiculous|JJ .|. '|'' 
fin|NN slang|NN for|IN `|`` five-dollar|JJ bill|NN ,|, '|'' from|IN finf|NN ,|, the|DT Yiddish|JJ word|NN for|IN `|`` five|CD .|. '|'' 
gun|NN moll|NN a|DT double|JJ clipping|VBG of|IN gonif|NN 's|POS Molly|NNP ,|, Yiddish|JJ for|IN `|`` thief|NN 's|POS girl|NN .|. '|'' 
kibitzer|NN `|`` one|CD who|WP comments|VBZ ,|, often|RB in|IN the|DT form|NN of|IN unwanted|JJ advice|NN ,|, during|IN a|DT game|NN ,|, often|RB cards|NNS .|. '|'' 
mavin|NN `|`` expert|NN .|. '|'' 
mazuma|NN `|`` money|NN .|. '|'' 
mish-mosh|JJ `|`` mess|NN .|. '|'' 
schlep|NN to|TO `|`` drag|VB or|CC haul|VB .|. '|'' 
schlock|NN `|`` shoddy|JJ ,|, cheaply|RB produced|VBN merchandise|NN .|. '|'' 
schmeer|NN the|DT `|`` entire|JJ deal|NN ,|, '|'' the|DT `|`` whole|JJ package|NN .|. '|'' 
schnoz|NN slang|NN for|IN `|`` nose|NN .|. '|'' 
yenta|NN `|`` blabbermouth|NN ,|, gossip|NN ;|: woman|NN of|IN low|JJ origins|NNS .|. '|'' 

.|. .|. .|. and|CC so|RB on|IN through|IN the|DT whole|JJ megillah|NN :|: `|`` long|JJ ,|, involved|VBN story|NN .|. '|'' 

A|DT number|NN of|IN poignant|JJ Yiddish|JJ words|NNS defy|VBP genuine|JJ translation|NN into|IN English|NNP :|: 
chutzpa|NN `|`` nerve|NN ;|: unmitigated|JJ gall|NN ;|: '|POS a|DT quality|NN we|PRP admire|NN within|IN ourselves|PRP ,|, but|CC never|RB in|IN others|NNS .|. 
In|IN his|PRP$ delightful|JJ study|NN ,|, The|DT Joys|NNP of|IN Yiddish|JJ (|( McGraw-Hill|NNP 1968|CD )|) ,|, Leo|NNP Rosten|NNP offers|VBZ two|CD classic|JJ definitions|NNS .|. 
Chutzpa|NNP is|VBZ that|DT quality|NN enshrined|JJ in|IN a|DT man|NN ,|, who|WP ,|, having|VBG killed|VBN his|PRP$ mother|NN and|CC father|NN ,|, throws|VBZ himself|PRP on|IN the|DT mercy|NN of|IN the|DT court|NN because|IN he|PRP is|VBZ an|DT orphan|JJ .|. 
A|DT chutzpanik|NN may|MD be|VB defined|VBN as|IN the|DT man|NN who|WP shouts|VBZ `|`` Help|VB !|. Help|VB !|. '|POS while|IN beating|NN you|PRP up|RP .|. 
mensch|NN a|DT `|`` real|JJ authentic|JJ human|JJ being—a|NN person|NN .|. '|POS 
naches|NNS the|DT `|`` glow|NN of|IN pleasure-plus-pride|JJ that|IN only|RB a|DT child|NN can|MD give|VB to|TO its|PRP$ parents|NNS '|POS :|: This|DT is|VBZ my|PRP$ son|NN ,|, the|DT Doctor|NNP !|. 
oy|NN not|RB so|RB much|JJ a|DT word|NN as|IN an|DT entire|JJ vocabulary|JJ ,|, as|IN Rosten|NNP observes|VBZ :|: can|MD express|VB any|DT emotion|NN ,|, from|IN trivial|JJ delight|NN to|TO the|DT blackest|JJS woe|NN .|. 
oy|NN vay|NN ;|: oy|NN vay|NN in|IN mir|NN literally|RB ,|, Oh|UH ,|, pain|NN ,|, but|CC ,|, in|IN its|PRP$ long|JJ or|CC short|JJ form|NN ,|, can|MD be|VB used|VBN for|IN anything|NN from|IN condolence|NN to|TO lament|NN :|: 
On|IN August|NNP 6|CD ,|, 1945|CD ,|, the|DT world|NN 's|POS first|JJ nuclear|JJ weapon|NN was|VBD dropped|VBN on|IN Hiroshima|NNP ,|, Japan|NNP .|. 
Two|CD hundred|CD and|CC eighty-two|CD thousand|CD human|JJ beings|NNS died|VBD and|CC tens|NNS of|IN thousands|NNS more|JJR were|VBD left|VBN burned|VBN ,|, maimed|JJ ,|, and|CC homeless|JJ .|. 
[|NN Albert|NNP ]|NN Einstein|NNP ,|, whose|WP$ letter|NN to|TO Roosevelt|NNP had|VBD initiated|VBN the|DT American|JJ effort|NN that|WDT resulted|VBD in|IN the|DT atom|NN bomb|NN and|CC whose|WP$ special|JJ theory|NN of|IN relativity|NN formed|VBD its|PRP$ theoretical|JJ basis|NN ,|, heard|VBD the|DT news|NN on|IN the|DT radio|NN .|. 
For|IN a|DT long|JJ time|NN he|PRP could|MD only|RB find|VB two|CD Yiddish|JJ words|NNS traditionally|RB used|VBN by|IN Jews|NNPS in|IN such|JJ circumstances|NNS :|: Oi|NNP vey|NN .|. 
—|NN The|DT Little|NNP ,|, Brown|NNP Book|NNP of|IN Anecdotes|NNP 
tsuris|NNS the|DT gamut|NN of|IN painful|JJ emotions—some|NN real|JJ ,|, some|DT imagined|VBD ,|, some|DT self-inflicted|JJ .|. 

Yiddish|JJ is|VBZ especially|RB versatile|NN in|IN describing|VBG those|DT poor|JJ souls|NNS who|WP inhabit|VBP the|DT world|NN of|IN the|DT ineffectual|JJ ,|, and|CC each|DT is|VBZ assigned|VBN a|DT distinct|JJ place|NN in|IN the|DT gallery|NN of|IN pathetic|JJ types|NNS :|: schmo|NN ,|, schmendrik|NN ,|, schnook|NN ,|, schmegegge|NN ,|, schlep|NN ,|, schlub|NN ,|, schmuck|NN ,|, putz|NN ,|, klutz|NN ,|, kvetch|NN ,|, and|CC nudnik|NN .|. 
Yiddish|JJ easily|RB coins|NNS new|JJ names|NNS for|IN new|JJ personalities|NNS :|: a|DT nudnik|NN is|VBZ a|DT `|`` pest|NN '|'' ;|: a|DT phudnik|NN is|VBZ a|DT `|`` nudnik|NN with|IN a|DT Ph.D.|NN '|POS 
The|DT rich|JJ nuances|NNS that|WDT suffuse|NN this|DT roll|NN call|NN are|VBP seen|VBN in|IN the|DT timeless|JJ distinction|NN between|IN a|DT schlemiel|NN `|`` clumsy|JJ jerk|NN '|'' and|CC a|DT schlimazel|NN `|`` habitual|NN loser|NN '|'' :|: the|DT schlemiel|NN inevitably|RB trips|NNS and|CC spills|VBZ his|PRP$ hot|JJ soup—all|NN over|IN the|DT schlimazel|NN .|. 
(|( And|CC the|DT nebbish|NN is|VBZ the|DT one|CD who|WP has|VBZ to|TO clean|VB it|PRP up|RP .|. )|) 

The|DT Yiddish|JJ language|NN ,|, through|IN its|PRP$ color|NN ,|, its|PRP$ target-accurate|JJ expressions|NNS ,|, its|PRP$ raw|JJ idioms|NNS ,|, and|CC its|PRP$ sayings|NNS exudes|NNS a|DT refreshing|JJ magic|NN and|CC laughter|NN ,|, mixed|VBN with|IN sober|JJ thought|NN ,|, that|WDT has|VBZ been|VBN handed|VBN down|RB from|IN generation|NN to|TO generation|NN and|CC from|IN nation|NN to|TO nation|NN .|. 
Yiddish|JJ never|RB apologizes|VBZ for|IN what|WP it|PRP is—the|NN earthy|JJ ,|, wise|JJ soul|NN of|IN an|DT expressive|JJ people|NNS learning|VBG that|DT life|NN is|VBZ but|CC a|DT mingled|JJ yarn|NN ,|, good|JJ and|CC ill|JJ together|RB .|. 

Which|WDT reminds|VBZ us|PRP of|IN the|DT zaftig|NN `|`` buxom|NN ,|, well-rounded|JJ '|POS blonde|JJ who|WP wore|VBD an|DT enormous|JJ diamond|NN to|TO a|DT charity|NN ball|NN .|. 
It|PRP happens|VBZ to|TO be|VB the|DT third|JJ most|RBS famous|JJ diamond|NN in|IN the|DT whole|JJ world|NN ,|, she|PRP boasted|VBD .|. 
The|DT first|JJ is|VBZ the|DT Hope|NNP diamond|NN ,|, then|RB comes|VBZ the|DT Kohinoor|NNP ,|, and|CC then|RB comes|VBZ this|DT one|CD ,|, which|WDT is|VBZ called|VBN the|DT Lipschitz|NNP .|. 

What|WP a|DT stone|NN !|. 
How|WRB lucky|JJ you|PRP are|VBP !|. 

Wait|VB ,|, wait|VB ,|, said|VBD the|DT lady|NN .|. 
Nothing|NN in|IN life|NN is|VBZ all|DT mazel|NN [|NN `|`` good|JJ luck|NN '|'' ]|NN .|. 
Unfortunately|RB ,|, with|IN this|DT famous|JJ Lipschitz|NNP diamond|NN comes|VBZ also|RB the|DT famous|JJ Lipschitz|NNP curse|NN .|. 

The|DT other|JJ women|NNS gasped|VBD and|CC asked|VBD ,|, And|CC what|WP is|VBZ the|DT famous|JJ Lipschitz|NNP curse|NN ?|. 

Lipschitz|NNP ,|, sighed|VBD the|DT lady|NN .|. 

The|DT Women|NNP 's|POS History|NN of|IN the|DT Word|NNP 
Those|DT who|WP are|VBP not|RB familiar|JJ with|IN feminist|JJ writings|NNS may|MD find|VB it|PRP useful|JJ and|CC interesting|JJ to|TO consider|VB a|DT book|NN ,|, recently|RB published|VBN in|IN Britain|NNP ,|, that|WDT is|VBZ typical|JJ of|IN the|DT harsher|JJR brand|NN of|IN such|JJ works|NNS .|. 
The|DT work|NN in|IN question|NN offers|VBZ nothing|NN regarding|VBG language|NN ,|, so|RB its|PRP$ review|NN here|RB is|VBZ ancillary|JJ to|TO the|DT main|JJ function|NN of|IN VERBATIM|NNP .|. 
The|DT feminist|JJ movement|NN is|VBZ very|RB much|RB alive|JJ in|IN Britain|NNP ,|, and|CC the|DT Greenham|NNP Common|NNP Women|NNP are|VBP probably|RB largely|RB responsible|JJ for|IN much|JJ of|IN the|DT national|JJ sentiment|NN against|IN the|DT Cruise|NNP missiles|NNS installed|VBN at|IN an|DT American|JJ base|NN near|IN that|DT village|NN .|. 
In|IN Britain|NNP ,|, as|IN elsewhere|RB ,|, most|JJS books|NNS by|IN feminist|JJ writers|NNS are|VBP reviewed|VBN by|IN women|NNS ,|, usually|RB feminists|NNS .|. 
Men|NN are|VBP seldom|RB assigned|VBN to|TO review|VB them|PRP ,|, possibly|RB because|IN the|DT editor|NN fears|NNS that|IN they|PRP will|MD be|VB either|CC ignorant|NN of|IN or|CC unsympathetic|JJ to|TO the|DT issues|NNS raised|VBD ,|, if|IN not|RB biased|VBN against|IN them|PRP ,|, or|CC because|IN the|DT editor|NN is|VBZ a|DT woman|NN .|. 
Because|IN writing|VBG an|DT unfavorable|JJ review|NN of|IN a|DT (|( bad|JJ )|) feminist|JJ book|NN would|MD be|VB tantamount|JJ to|TO treachery|NN ,|, such|JJ books|NNS are|VBP often|RB unjustifiably|RB praised|VBD ,|, as|IN was|VBD the|DT case|NN with|IN this|DT work|NN by|IN Rosalind|NNP Miles|NNP ,|, which|WDT was|VBD well|RB received|VBN on|IN its|PRP$ publication|NN in|IN June|NNP .|. 

According|VBG to|TO the|DT blurb|NN on|IN the|DT dust|NN jacket|NN of|IN this|DT distinctly|RB unpleasant|JJ book|NN ,|, Rosalind|NNP Miles|NNP is|VBZ head|NN of|IN the|DT Centre|NNP for|IN Women|NNP 's|POS Studies|NNPS at|IN Coventry|NNP Polytechnic|NNP ,|, a|DT lecturer|NN ,|, broadcaster|NN ,|, journalist|NN ,|, and|CC author|NN of|IN several|JJ other|JJ books|NNS ,|, including|VBG a|DT highly|RB acclaimed|JJ biography|NN of|IN Ben|NNP Jonson|NNP .|. 
One|CD might|MD like|VB to|TO believe|VB that|IN this|DT gives|VBZ her|PRP$ the|DT cachet|NN of|IN authoritative|JJ scholarship|NN ,|, but|CC the|DT text|NN does|VBZ not|RB bear|VB out|RP the|DT promise|NN .|. 

For|IN the|DT most|JJS part|NN ,|, the|DT book|NN consists|VBZ of|IN a|DT rewriting|VBG of|IN history|NN ,|, from|IN the|DT dawn|NN of|IN time|NN ,|, with|IN the|DT purpose|NN of|IN demonstrating|VBG two|CD main|JJ themes|NNS :|: the|DT fact|NN that|IN women|NNS were|VBD responsible|JJ for|IN all|PDT the|DT important|JJ contributions|NNS to|TO the|DT advancement|NN of|IN civilization|NN (|( as|IN the|DT development|NN of|IN agriculture|NN ,|, for|IN instance|NN )|) ,|, often|RB despite|IN the|DT arrogance|NN and|CC stupidity|NN of|IN men|NNS ;|: and|CC the|DT fact|NN that|IN women|NNS have|VBP long|RB been|VBN subjected|VBN to|TO domination|NN by|IN men|NNS .|. 
Miles|NNP suggests|VBZ that|IN such|JJ domination|NN is|VBZ a|DT recent|JJ phenomenon—only|RB a|DT couple|NN of|IN thousand|CD years|NNS old—for|NN she|PRP points|VBZ to|TO the|DT clear|JJ superiority|NN of|IN women|NNS in|IN (|( primitive|JJ )|) religions|NNS and|CC matriarchies|NNS ,|, right|NN on|IN through|IN to|TO the|DT Egyptian|JJ dynastic|JJ rulers|NNS .|. 
At|IN one|CD point|NN ,|, she|PRP gets|VBZ so|RB carried|VBN away|RB with|IN her|PRP$ thesis|NN that|IN she|PRP suggests|VBZ that|IN females|NNS were|VBD responsible|JJ not|RB only|RB for|IN all|DT of|IN human|JJ evolutionary|JJ biology|NN but|CC for|IN the|DT very|JJ notion|NN of|IN counting|VBG (|( in|IN order|NN to|TO keep|VB track|NN of|IN menstruation|NN )|) and|CC ,|, probably|RB by|IN the|DT same|JJ token|JJ ,|, astronomy|NN .|. 
She|PRP quotes|VBZ (|( and|CC ,|, presumably|RB ,|, accepts|VBZ )|) another|DT source|NN which|WDT holds|VBZ that|DT woman|NN first|RB awakened|VBN in|IN humankind|NN the|DT capacity|NN to|TO recognize|VB abstracts|NNS .|. 
If|IN you|PRP believe|VBP that|DT balderdash|NN ,|, you|PRP 'll|MD believe|VB anything|NN .|. 

In|IN the|DT good|JJ old|JJ days|NNS ,|, we|PRP were|VBD taught|VBN that|IN the|DT pyramids|NNS were|VBD built|VBN by|IN tens|NNS of|IN thousands|NNS of|IN slaves|NNS .|. 
Recent|JJ speculation|NN has|VBZ it|PRP that|IN they|PRP were|VBD not|RB slaves|NNS but—what|NN would|MD one|CD call|VB them|PRP ?|. —|NN ordinary|JJ laborers|NNS .|. 
Here|RB comes|VBZ Miles|NNP ,|, authoritatively|RB quoting|VBG Diodorus|NNP ,|, the|DT Greek|JJ historian|NN ,|, who|WP recorded|VBD (|( 60|CD -|: 30|CD BC|NNP )|) that|IN innocent|JJ women|NNS even|RB swelled|VBD the|DT ranks|NNS of|IN pitiful|JJ slaves|NNS whose|WP$ forced|VBN labour|NN built|VBD the|DT pyramids|NNS :|: 
.|. .|. .|. bound|VBN in|IN fetters|NNS ,|, they|PRP work|VBP continually|RB without|IN being|VBG allowed|VBD any|DT rest|NN by|IN night|NN or|CC day|NN .|. 
They|PRP have|VBP not|RB a|DT rag|NN to|TO cover|VB their|PRP$ nakedness|NNS ,|, and|CC neither|DT the|DT weakness|NN of|IN age|NN nor|CC women|NNS 's|POS infirmities|NNS are|VBP any|DT plea|NN to|TO excuse|VB them|PRP ,|, but|CC they|PRP are|VBP driven|VBN by|IN blows|NNS until|IN they|PRP drop|VBP dead|JJ .|. 
[|NN p|NN .49|CD ]|NN 

As|IN the|DT pyramids|NNS were|VBD already|RB about|IN 2500|CD years|NNS old|JJ when|WRB Diodorus|NNP wrote|VBD his|PRP$ World|NNP History|NN ,|, one|CD is|VBZ given|VBN to|TO wonder|VB what|WP his|PRP$ authority|NN might|MD have|VB been|VBN for|IN such|JJ a|DT vivid|JJ description|NN .|. 
It|PRP is|VBZ even|RB less|RBR comprehensible|JJ how|WRB a|DT modern|JJ researcher|NN could|MD accept|VB it|PRP and|CC have|VBP the|DT effrontery|NN to|TO promulgate|NN it|PRP .|. 
Miles|NNP 's|POS book|NN is|VBZ riddled|JJ with|IN many|JJ similar|JJ distortions|NNS ,|, convenient|JJ omissions|NNS ,|, and|CC generalizations|NNS :|: 
.|. .|. .|. Women|NNP have|VBP always|RB commanded|VBN over|IN half|PDT the|DT sum|NN total|NN of|IN human|JJ intelligence|NN and|CC creativity|NN .|. 
From|IN the|DT poet|NN Sappho|NNP ,|, who|WP in|IN the|DT sixth|JJ century|NN BC|NNP was|VBD the|DT first|JJ to|TO use|VB the|DT lyric|NN to|TO write|VB subjectively|RB and|CC explore|VB the|DT range|NN of|IN female|JJ experience|NN ,|, to|TO the|DT Chinese|JJ polymath|NN Pan|NNP Chao|NNP (|( Ban|NNP Zhao|NNP )|) ,|, who|WP flourished|VBD around|IN AD|NNP 100|CD as|IN historian|NN ,|, poet|NN ,|, astronomer|NN ,|, mathematician|NN and|CC educationalist|NN ,|, the|DT range|NN is|VBZ startling|JJ .|. 
In|IN every|DT field|NN ,|, women|NNS too|RB numerous|JJ to|TO list|NN were|VBD involved|VBN in|IN developing|VBG knowledge|NN and|CC contributing|VBG to|TO the|DT welfare|NN of|IN their|PRP$ societies|NNS as|IN they|PRP did|VBD so|RB :|: the|DT Roman|NNP Fabiola|NNP established|VBD a|DT hospital|NN where|WRB she|PRP worked|VBD both|DT as|JJ nurse|NN and|CC doctor|NN ,|, becoming|VBG the|DT first|JJ known|VBN woman|NN surgeon|NN before|IN she|PRP died|VBD in|IN AD|NNP 399|CD .|. 
[|NN p|NN .52|CD ]|NN 

Earlier|RBR ,|, on|IN page|NN 49|CD ,|, we|PRP learnt|NN about|IN Agnodice|NNP ,|, who|WP lived|VBD to|TO become|VB the|DT world|NN 's|POS first|RB known|VBN woman|NN gynaecologist|NN ,|, in|IN the|DT fourth|JJ century|NN BC|NNP .|. 
Clearly|RB ,|, this|DT rosily|RB checkered|JJ past|RB was|VBD soon|RB to|TO be|VB replaced|VBN ,|, chiefly|RB ,|, it|PRP seems|VBZ ,|, as|IN Judeo-|NNP Christian-|NNP Islamic-|NNP Confucian-|NNP Buddhist|NNP cultures|NNS flourished|VBN .|. 
It|PRP was|VBD not|RB too|RB bad|JJ early|RB on|IN ,|, when|WRB ,|, according|VBG to|TO Miles|NNP ,|, the|DT seven|CD Maccabean|NNP martyrs|NNS who|WP saved|VBD Judaism|NNP did|VBD so|RB only|RB at|IN the|DT instigation|NN of|IN their|PRP$ mother|NN .|. 
Miles|NNP continues|VBZ :|: 
In|IN early|JJ Christianity|NNP likewise|RB ,|, women|NNS found|VBD not|RB merely|RB a|DT role|NN ,|, but|CC an|DT instrument|NN of|IN resistance|NN to|TO male|JJ domination|NN ;|: in|IN choosing|VBG to|TO be|VB a|DT bride|NN of|IN Christ|NNP they|PRP inevitably|RB cocked|JJ a|DT snook|NN at|IN lesser|JJR male|JJ fry|NN .|. 
Thousands|NNS of|IN young|JJ women|NNS helped|VBD to|TO build|VB the|DT church|NN of|IN God|NNP with|IN their|PRP$ body|NN ,|, blood|NN and|CC bones|NNS when|WRB frenzied|JJ fathers|NNS ,|, husbands|NNS or|CC fiancés|NNS preferred|VBN to|TO see|VB them|PRP die|VB by|IN fire|NN ,|, sword|NN or|CC the|DT fangs|NNS of|IN wild|JJ beasts|NNS rather|RB than|IN live|VB to|TO flout|NN [|NN sic|JJ ]|NN the|DT duty|NN and|CC destiny|NN of|IN womanhood|NN .|. 
[|NN p|NN .63|CD ]|NN 

But|CC the|DT situation|NN soon|RB deteriorated|VBD :|: 
Even|RB St.|NN Paul|NNP ,|, later|RB the|DT unregenerate|NN prophet|NN of|IN female|JJ inferiority|NN ,|, was|VBD forced|VBN to|TO acknowledge|VB the|DT help|NN he|PRP received|VBD from|IN Lydia|NNP ,|, the|DT seller|NN of|IN purple|JJ dyes|NNS in|IN Philippi|NNP .|. 
[|NN ibid|NN .|. ]|NN 

This|DT rewriting|VBG of|IN history|NN is|VBZ punctuated|JJ by|IN an|DT array|NN of|IN four-letter|JJ invectives|NNS applied|VBN to|TO males|NNS and|CC by|IN adjectives|NNS like|IN brilliant|JJ ,|, unusual|JJ ,|, inspiring|JJ ,|, and|CC so|RB forth|RB to|TO women|NNS .|. 
Citing|VBG a|DT Judaic|NNP law-book|JJ of|IN the|DT 16|CD th|NN century|NN which|WDT identified|VBD a|DT woman|NN for|IN the|DT days|NNS preceding|VBG ,|, during|IN ,|, and|CC following|VBG her|PRP$ period|NN as|IN niddah|NN `|`` impure|NN ,|, '|'' Miles|NNP has|VBZ the|DT lack|NN of|IN taste|NN to|TO write|VB the|DT following|VBG :|: .|. 
As|IN a|DT final|JJ stroke|NN ,|, in|IN a|DT grim|JJ foreshadowing|VBG of|IN what|WP the|DT future|JJ held|VBN in|IN store|NN for|IN the|DT Jews|NNPS ,|, the|DT niddah|NN had|VBD to|TO wear|VB special|JJ clothing|NN as|IN a|DT badge|NN of|IN her|PRP$ separate|JJ and|CC despised|VBN status|NN .|. 
[|NN p|NN .83|CD ]|NN 

Here|RB and|CC there|RB in|IN this|DT morass|NN of|IN misunderstanding|VBG ,|, Miles|NNP treads|VBZ on|IN solid|JJ ground|NN if|IN one|CD can|MD agree|VB with|IN the|DT eminent|JJ anthropologist|NN Joseph|NNP Campbell|NNP .|. 
Campbell|NNP ,|, known|VBN for|IN his|PRP$ extensive|JJ analyses|NNS of|IN the|DT world|NN 's|POS mythologies|NNS ,|, religions|NNS ,|, and|CC cultures|NNS ,|, noted|VBD the|DT marked|VBN bias|NN against|IN women|NNS emerging|VBG from|IN Judaic|NNP concepts|NNS ,|, later|RB reinforced|VBN by|IN Christian|NNP and|CC Islamic|NNP doctrine|NN .|. 
Most|JJS of|IN the|DT religions|NNS of|IN the|DT world|NN connected|VBN woman|NN with|IN mother|NN earth|NN ,|, fertility|NN ,|, and|CC all|PDT the|DT other|JJ progenetic|JJ and|CC nurturing|VBG associations|NNS ,|, and|CC this|DT was|VBD borne|VBN out|IN in|IN the|DT cultures|NNS of|IN the|DT people|NNS .|. 
According|VBG to|TO Campbell|NNP ,|, the|DT only|JJ godlike|NN female|JJ figure|NN in|IN the|DT Bible|NNP is|VBZ the|DT Virgin|NNP Mary|NNP ,|, and|CC she|PRP appears|VBZ ,|, identified|VBN as|IN virgin|JJ ,|, only|RB in|IN the|DT Gospel|NNP according|VBG to|TO Luke|NNP .|. 
As|IN Luke|NNP was|VBD a|DT Greek|JJ ,|, Campbell|NNP suggested|VBD that|IN Mary|NNP was|VBD a|DT carryover|NN from|IN the|DT paganism|NN of|IN the|DT ancient|JJ Greek|JJ pantheon|NN .|. 
Although|IN this|DT might|MD help|VB explain|VB the|DT Judeo-|NNP Christian-|NNP Muslim|NNP tendencies|NNS to|TO subjugate|NN women|NNS ,|, treating|VBG them|PRP essentially|RB as|IN chattel|NN ,|, it|PRP does|VBZ not|RB account|VB for|IN a|DT similar|JJ treatment|NN accorded|VBD them|PRP in|IN other|JJ cultures|NNS ,|, notably|RB that|IN of|IN Japan|NNP .|. 
It|PRP is|VBZ not|RB entirely|RB clear|JJ whether|IN Campbell|NNP was|VBD commenting|VBG on|IN Hinduism|NNP ,|, Buddhism|NNP ,|, etc.|NN as|IN they|PRP once|RB existed|VBD ,|, conceptually|RB ,|, for|IN it|PRP is|VBZ unlikely|JJ that|IN he|PRP could|MD have|VB ignored|VBN the|DT treatment|NN of|IN women|NNS in|IN the|DT modern|JJ reflexes|NNS of|IN the|DT cultures|NNS adhering|VBG to|TO those|DT religous|JJ precepts|NNS .|. 

Campbell|NNP held|VBD that|IN the|DT ancient|JJ mythologies|NNS and|CC religions|NNS are|VBP allegorical|JJ and|CC that|IN there|EX was|VBD no|DT real|JJ distinction|NN between|IN gods|NNS and|CC goddesses|NNS ,|, who|WP were|VBD given|VBN sexual|JJ identity|NN when|WRB in|IN human|JJ form|NN only|RB to|TO make|VB them|PRP more|RBR meaningful|JJ .|. 
With|IN all|DT respect|NN ,|, that|WDT seems|VBZ a|DT highly|RB debatable|JJ issue|NN and|CC one|CD far|RB too|RB complex|JJ for|IN this|DT discussion|NN ,|, though|IN we|PRP can|MD certainly|RB trace|VB a|DT diminution|NN in|IN the|DT role|NN of|IN female|JJ divinities|NNS (|( or|CC divinity|NN )|) when|WRB we|PRP come|VBP to|TO examine|VB Judaism|NNP and|CC its|PRP$ congeners|NNS and|CC progeny|NN .|. 
Other|JJ debatable|JJ aspects|NNS are|VBP the|DT questions|NNS of|IN whether|IN the|DT debasement|NN of|IN women|NNS is|VBZ a|DT reflection|NN of|IN the|DT theology|NN or|CC the|DT ritual|NN ,|, whether|IN the|DT scripture|NN of|IN any|DT religion|NN should|MD be|VB understood|VBN allegorically|RB or|CC literally|RB ,|, and|CC so|RB forth|RB .|. 
If|IN there|EX is|VBZ something|NN wrong|JJ ,|, it|PRP behooves|NNS us|PRP to|TO get|VB at|IN the|DT roots|NNS of|IN the|DT problem|NN ,|, not|RB to|TO flail|NN about|IN wildly|RB ,|, for|IN only|RB after|IN the|DT source|NN of|IN a|DT disease|NN has|VBZ been|VBN identified|VBN can|MD one|CD properly|RB investigate|VB its|PRP$ cure|NN .|. 

History|NN according|VBG to|TO Rosalind|NNP Miles|NNP blasts|NNS away|RB at|IN the|DT symptoms|NNS in|IN a|DT misconceived|JJ notion|NN that|IN alleviating|VBG them|PRP will|MD effect|VB a|DT cure|NN of|IN the|DT disease|NN .|. 
In|IN this|DT jeremiad|NN ,|, males|NNS are|VBP viewed|VBN as|IN the|DT enemy|NN ,|, and|CC are|VBP so|RB characterized|VBN throughout|IN the|DT book|NN ,|, which|WDT concludes|VBZ with|IN exhortations|NNS to|TO engage|VB the|DT foe|NN and|CC a|DT strident|JJ call|NN to|TO arms|NNS (|( though|IN not|RB men|NNS 's|POS )|) .|. 

Laurence|NNP Urdang|NNP 

Archaeology|NNP &|CC Language|NNP 
[|NN A|DT VERBATIM|NNP Book|NNP Club|NNP Selection|NN .|. ]|NN 

Just|RB when|WRB you|PRP thought|VBD it|PRP was|VBD safe|JJ to|TO assume|VB that|IN we|PRP now|RB know|VBP all|DT we|PRP are|VBP ever|RB likely|JJ to|TO know|VB about|IN the|DT past|NN ,|, someone|NN digs|VBZ another|DT hole|NN and|CC unearths|NNS (|( literally|RB or|CC figuratively|RB )|) some|DT ancient|JJ artifact|NN :|: one|CD day|NN it|PRP is|VBZ a|DT fragile|JJ scroll|NN ,|, found|VBD in|IN a|DT cave|NN near|IN the|DT Dead|NNP Sea|NNP ,|, that|WDT turns|VBZ out|IN to|TO be|VB pre-|NN Biblical|NNP ;|: the|DT next|JJ day|NN it|PRP is|VBZ an|DT entire|JJ terracotta|NN army|NN of|IN Chinese|JJ soldiers|NNS :|: the|DT next|JJ it|PRP is|VBZ a|DT skull|NN ,|, excavated|VBN from|IN the|DT Olduvai|NNP Gorge|NNP ,|, that|WDT compels|VBZ anthropologists|NNS (|( once|RB again|RB )|) to|TO revise|VB their|PRP$ guesses|NNS about|IN the|DT earliest|JJS stages|NNS of|IN Homo|NN sapiens|JJ sapiens|JJ vs|NNS hominids|NNS .|. 
Most|JJS of|IN the|DT relies|VBZ from|IN the|DT past|JJ are|VBP gone|VBN forever|RB ,|, destroyed|VBN by|IN the|DT plows|VBZ of|IN countless|JJ generations|NNS of|IN farmers|NNS ,|, reduced|VBN to|TO rubble|NN by|IN erosion|NN ,|, by|IN conquerors|NNS ,|, by|IN prehistoric|JJ (|( and|CC modern|JJ )|) urban|JJ developers|NNS ,|, by|IN fire|NN and|CC flood|NN ,|, and|CC just|RB by|IN time|NN .|. 
Many|JJ ,|, we|PRP may|MD hope|VB ,|, have|VB not|RB yet|RB been|VBN found|VBN .|. 
The|DT interest|NN in|IN man|NN 's|POS forebears|NNS did|VBD not|RB become|VB fashionable|JJ upon|IN the|DT publication|NN ,|, a|DT few|JJ years|NNS ago|RB ,|, of|IN Roots|NNP :|: on|IN a|DT far|RB larger|JJR scale|NN ,|, we|PRP have|VBP been|VBN trying|VBG to|TO discover|VB all|DT we|PRP can|MD about|IN the|DT origins|NNS not|RB of|IN men|NNS but|CC of|IN man|NN .|. 
Strange|JJ to|TO say|VB ,|, however|RB ,|, that|DT interest|NN does|VBZ not|RB seem|VB to|TO be|VB more|JJR than|IN a|DT few|JJ hundred|CD years|NNS old|JJ :|: if|IN the|DT ancient|JJ Greeks|NNPS and|CC Romans|NNP ,|, the|DT Indians|NNPS ,|, the|DT Chinese|JJ and|CC other|JJ peoples|NNS were|VBD curious|JJ about|IN their|PRP$ own|JJ prehistory|NN ,|, I|PRP have|VBP not|RB heard|VBN of|IN it|PRP .|. 
Perhaps|RB the|DT fascination|NN with|IN man|NN 's|POS past|RB grew|VBD out|IN of|IN the|DT obsession|NN with|IN ruins|NNS evinced|VBN by|IN Romanticism|NNP ;|: certainly|RB ,|, modern|JJ archaeology|NN seems|VBZ to|TO have|VB followed|VBN close|VB behind|RB ,|, for|IN the|DT excavation|NN of|IN the|DT supposed|VBN site|NN of|IN Troy|NNP took|VBD place|NN only|RB about|IN 100|CD years|NNS ago|RB .|. 
Perhaps|RB it|PRP is|VBZ just|RB as|IN well|RB ,|, for|IN only|RB by|IN the|DT means|NNS available|JJ to|TO modern|JJ science|NN are|VBP we|PRP now|RB able|JJ to|TO preserve|VB some|DT of|IN the|DT artifacts|NNS that|IN we|PRP find|VBP and|CC ,|, through|IN radiocarbon|NN dating|VBG ,|, determine|VB their|PRP$ approximate|JJ age|NN .|. 

Archaeology|NNP is|VBZ a|DT popular|JJ pursuit|NN ,|, and|CC its|PRP$ manifest|JJ results|NNS not|RB only|RB receive|VB considerable|JJ publicity|NN but|CC can|MD be|VB seen|VBN in|IN museums|NNS .|. 
Not|RB so|RB paleolinguistics|NNS ,|, or|CC the|DT reconstruction|NN of|IN ancient|JJ languages|NNS .|. 
Even|RB the|DT remnants|NNS we|PRP have|VBP from|IN early|JJ languages|NNS that|WDT had|VBD a|DT writing|VBG system|NN are|VBP relatively|RB sparse|NN :|: Classical|NNP Latin|NNP and|CC Greek|JJ ,|, Hebrew|NNP ,|, and|CC a|DT few|JJ other|JJ languages|NNS are|VBP better|RBR documented|VBN than|IN others|NNS ;|: but|CC for|IN most|JJS all|DT we|PRP have|VBP to|TO go|VB on|IN are|VBP a|DT handful|NN of|IN tablets|NNS here|RB ,|, a|DT few|JJ inscriptions|NNS there|RB ,|, barely|RB enough|RB in|IN many|JJ cases|NNS to|TO allow|VB us|PRP to|TO identify|VB the|DT language|NN ,|, let|VB alone|RB draw|VB any|DT conclusions|NNS regarding|VBG its|PRP$ structure|NN or|CC meaning|VBG .|. 
Perhaps|RB one|CD day|NN we|PRP shall|MD find|VB an|DT Etruscan|NNP library|NN ,|, buried|VBD deep|JJ in|IN the|DT Italian|JJ countryside|NN ;|: but|CC for|IN the|DT present|NN ,|, we|PRP have|VBP to|TO make|VB do|VBP with|IN what|WP we|PRP have|VBP ,|, which|WDT is|VBZ precious|JJ little|JJ .|. 
About|IN languages|NNS that|WDT had|VBD no|DT writing|VBG system|NN ,|, we|PRP know|VBP nothing|NN at|IN all|DT .|. 
But|CC some|DT very|RB clever|JJ comparative|JJ linguists|NNS ,|, beginning|VBG in|IN Germany|NNP in|IN the|DT 19|CD th|NN century|NN ,|, theorized|VBD about|IN how|WRB the|DT nature|NN of|IN the|DT ancestors|NNS of|IN the|DT more|RBR modern|JJ tongues|NNS .|. 
In|IN some|DT instances|NNS ,|, ancient|JJ languages|NNS have|VBP been|VBN decoded|JJ ,|, some|DT from|IN multilingual|NN inscriptions|NNS .|. 
The|DT work|NN of|IN Jean|NNP Francois|NNP Champollion|NNP (|( 1790|CD -|: 1832|CD )|) in|IN deciphering|VBG hieroglyphics|NNS from|IN the|DT Rosetta|NNP Stone|NNP was|VBD an|DT astonishing|JJ accomplishment|NN ,|, for|IN it|PRP enabled|VBD us|PRP to|TO read|VB the|DT myriad|JJ writings|NNS of|IN the|DT ancient|JJ Egyptians|NNP on|IN papyrus|JJ and|CC in|IN wall|NN inscriptions|NNS and|CC revealed|VBD an|DT enormous|JJ amount|NN of|IN the|DT knowledge|NN we|PRP have|VBP today|NN about|IN their|PRP$ civilization|NN ,|, which|WDT lasted|VBD for|IN about|IN 2600|CD years|NNS .|. 
Another|DT significant|JJ break-through|JJ was|VBD that|IN of|IN Michael|NNP Ventris|NNP (|( 1922|CD -|: 1956|CD )|) ,|, who|WP deciphered|JJ the|DT Linear|NNP B|NNP script|NN found|VBD on|IN Crete|NNP and|CC identified|VBD it|PRP as|IN an|DT early|JJ form|NN of|IN Greek|JJ .|. 
From|IN the|DT standpoint|NN of|IN language|NN ,|, Ventris|NNP 's|POS work|NN was|VBD more|RBR important|JJ ,|, particularly|RB because|IN it|PRP filled|VBD in|IN a|DT gap|NN in|IN our|PRP$ knowledge|NN of|IN the|DT early|JJ states|NNS of|IN Indo-|NNP European|JJ languages|NNS .|. 

Many|JJ years|NNS ago|RB ,|, a|DT linguistic|JJ scholar|NN counted|VBD all|DT of|IN the|DT languages|NNS then|RB spoken|VBN of|IN which|WDT he|PRP had|VBD evidence|NN .|. 
The|DT total|NN was|VBD approximately|RB 2800|CD ,|, but|CC that|DT is|VBZ probably|RB only|RB a|DT vague|JJ estimate|NN :|: he|PRP undoubtedly|RB missed|VBD some|DT ;|: some|DT have|VBP sprung|VBN up|RP since|IN his|PRP$ time|NN (|( modern|JJ Hebrew|NNP ,|, for|IN instance|NN )|) ;|: and|CC some|DT have|VBP vanished|VBN .|. 
The|DT exact|JJ count|NN is|VBZ unimportant|JJ and|CC ,|, at|IN best|JJS ,|, spurious|JJ ,|, for|IN it|PRP is|VBZ extremely|RB difficult|JJ to|TO establish|VB uniform|NN criteria|NNS for|IN what|WP distinguishes|NNS dialect|NN from|IN language|NN .|. 
Then|RB ,|, too|RB ,|, one|CD must|MD examine|VB the|DT techniques|NNS used|VBN to|TO group|VB the|DT many|JJ languages|NNS of|IN the|DT world|NN .|. 

Linguists|NNP examining|VBG Classical|NNP Greek|JJ ,|, Latin|NNP ,|, German|JJ ,|, English|NNP ,|, Slavic|NNP ,|, Swedish|JJ ,|, Norwegian|JJ ,|, Danish|JJ ,|, Dutch|JJ ,|, Lithuanian|NNP ,|, Iranian|JJ ,|, Hindi|NNP ,|, and|CC the|DT other|JJ languages|NNS of|IN India|NNP and|CC Europe|NNP found|VBD that|IN there|EX were|VBD correspondences|NNS among|IN many|JJ of|IN the|DT common|JJ words|NNS .|. 
Some|DT ,|, like|IN French|JJ ,|, Spanish|JJ ,|, Italian|JJ ,|, and|CC Portuguese|NNP ,|, had|VBD more|JJR in|IN common|JJ with|IN one|CD another|DT than|IN they|PRP did|VBD with|IN ,|, say|VB ,|, German|JJ ,|, English|NNP ,|, Swedish|JJ ,|, Danish|JJ ,|, and|CC Dutch|JJ ,|, which|WDT ,|, in|IN turn|NN ,|, bore|VBD only|RB a|DT remote|JJ resemblance|NN to|TO Russian|JJ and|CC Polish|JJ ,|, on|IN the|DT one|CD hand|NN ,|, and|CC the|DT two|CD extant|NN varieties|NNS of|IN ,|, say|VB ,|, Gaelic|JJ ,|, on|IN the|DT other|JJ .|. 
One|CD rapidly|RB runs|VBZ out|IN of|IN hands|NNS and|CC must|MD resort|VB to|TO fingers|NNS and|CC toes|NNS ,|, for|IN after|IN years|NNS of|IN laboriously|RB categorizing|VBG these|DT languages|NNS ,|, the|DT number|NN of|IN different|JJ main|JJ branches|NNS (|( called|VBN families|NNS and|CC subfamilies|NNS )|) came|VBD to|TO about|IN ten|CD .|. 
Ingeniously|NNP ,|, certain|JJ differences|NNS between|IN families|NNS were|VBD explained|VBN by|IN various|JJ phonetic|JJ shifts|NNS that|IN (|( inexplicably|RB )|) took|VBD place|NN in|IN one|CD language|NN group|NN but|CC not|RB in|IN another|DT .|. 
Although|IN certain|JJ other|JJ languages|NNS were|VBD geographically|RB nearby|JJ ,|, it|PRP was|VBD impossible|JJ to|TO establish|VB any|DT resemblances|NNS between|IN them|PRP ,|, hence|RB Basque|NNP ,|, for|IN example|NN ,|, is|VBZ not|RB classified|VBN as|IN being|VBG in|IN the|DT same|JJ family|NN with|IN other|JJ European|JJ languages|NNS ,|, nor|CC are|VBP Hungarian|JJ and|CC Finnish|JJ ,|, both|DT of|IN which|WDT belong|VBP to|TO their|PRP$ own|JJ group|NN .|. 
At|IN the|DT conclusion|NN of|IN this|DT vast|JJ exercise|NN ,|, done|VBN without|IN the|DT aid|NN of|IN computers|NNS ,|, there|EX emerged|VBD a|DT pattern|NN of|IN familial|NN relationships|NNS that|WDT linked|VBD together|RB languages|NNS spoken|VBN ,|, in|IN earlier|JJR times|NNS ,|, from|IN Britain|NNP as|RB far|RB east|JJ as|IN Chinese|NNP Turkestan|NNP and|CC from|IN India|NNP as|RB far|RB north|RB as|IN Lappland|NNP .|. 
Charts|NNP showing|VBG the|DT chief|NN languages|NNS and|CC their|PRP$ derivations|NNS can|MD be|VB found|VBN in|IN many|JJ dictionaries—inside|NN the|DT front|NN cover|NN of|IN The|DT Random|NNP House|NNP Unabridged|NNP ,|, for|IN example|NN .|. 
Because|IN linguists|NNS are|VBP constantly|RB learning|VBG more|JJR and|CC more|JJR about|IN the|DT relationships|NNS among|IN languages|NNS ,|, it|PRP is|VBZ best|JJS to|TO avoid|VB using|VBG an|DT older|JJR chart|NN ;|: for|IN the|DT same|JJ reason|NN ,|, it|PRP would|MD be|VB wise|JJ not|RB to|TO stake|VB too|RB much|JJ on|IN the|DT accuracy|NN of|IN even|RB a|DT current|JJ chart|NN .|. 

The|DT languages|NNS discussed|VBN here|RB are|VBP what|WP are|VBP usually|RB called|VBN the|DT Indo-|NNP European|JJ family|NN ;|: similar|JJ family|NN trees|NNS could|MD be|VB drawn|VBN for|IN the|DT Semitic|NNP languages|NNS ,|, Sino-|NNP Tibetan|NNP ,|, Japanese|JJ ,|, Bantu|NNP ,|, Malayo-|NNP Polynesian|NNP ,|, and|CC so|RB on|IN .|. 
Each|DT is|VBZ a|DT distinct|JJ phylum|NN ;|: although|IN there|EX may|MD be|VB word-borrowing|JJ among|IN them|PRP ,|, lexicon|NN is|VBZ considered|VBN less|RBR important|JJ in|IN the|DT classification|NN of|IN languages|NNS than|IN structure|NN and|CC grammar|NN .|. 
It|PRP is|VBZ important|JJ ,|, too|RB ,|, to|TO note|VB that|IN writing|VBG systems|NNS are|VBP irrelevant|JJ :|: for|IN instance|NN ,|, Polish|JJ is|VBZ written|VBN (|( today|NN )|) using|VBG the|DT Roman|NNP alphabet|NN ,|, but|CC Russian|JJ ,|, a|DT related|VBN Slavic|NNP language|NN ,|, uses|VBZ the|DT Cyrillic|NNP ;|: Yiddish|JJ ,|, a|DT Germanic|NNP language|NN ,|, is|VBZ written|VBN in|IN Hebrew|NNP characters|NNS ;|: Latin|NNP ,|, Greek|JJ ,|, and|CC Sanskrit|NNP ,|, which|WDT resemble|VBP one|CD another|DT rather|RB closely|RB in|IN some|DT respects|VBZ ,|, all|DT use|NN different|JJ alphabets|NNS ;|: and|CC early|JJ examples|NNS ,|, utterly|RB unrecognizable|JJ to|TO untrained|JJ readers|NNS of|IN modern|JJ languages|NNS ,|, were|VBD written|VBN in|IN cuneiform|NN ,|, quite|RB suitable|JJ for|IN writing|VBG on|IN soft|JJ clay|NN tablets|NNS with|IN a|DT pointed|VBN stylus|JJ ,|, and|CC hieroglyphics|NNS .|. 

It|PRP would|MD be|VB nice|JJ to|TO think|VB that|IN while|IN linguists|NNS were|VBD working|VBG so|RB hard|JJ to|TO organize|VB languages|NNS ,|, they|PRP were|VBD working|VBG alongside|IN the|DT archaeologists|NNS who|WP were|VBD providing|VBG the|DT raw|JJ materials|NNS .|. 
But|CC only|RB rarely|RB did|VBD they|PRP collaborate|VBP and|CC ,|, with|IN few|JJ exceptions|NNS ,|, their|PRP$ work|NN was|VBD not|RB correlated|JJ in|IN a|DT systematic|JJ way|NN .|. 
Schliemann|NNP ,|, who|WP discovered|VBD the|DT site|NN of|IN Troy|NNP ,|, used|VBD the|DT evidence|NN in|IN Homer|NNP 's|POS Iliad|NNP to|TO determine|VB his|PRP$ digging|NN site|NN ,|, where|WRB any|DT ruins|NNS had|VBD long|RB since|IN disappeared|VBD from|IN view|NN .|. 
In|IN many|JJ other|JJ places|NNS ,|, the|DT ancient|JJ sites|NNS lay|VBP buried—and|NN still|RB do—beneath|NN modern|JJ cities|NNS :|: modern|JJ property|NN owners|NNS quite|RB understandably|RB take|VB a|DT dim|NN view|NN of|IN tearing|VBG down|RP their|PRP$ buildings|NNS on|IN the|DT off|IN chance|NN that|IN the|DT remnants|NNS of|IN an|DT ancient|JJ town|NN will|MD be|VB found|VBN several|JJ yards|NNS below|IN .|. 
today|NN ,|, before|IN a|DT new|JJ building|NN is|VBZ erected|VBN in|IN London|NNP ,|, an|DT archaeological|JJ team|NN examines|VBZ the|DT cleared|VBN site|NN for|IN its|PRP$ archaeological|JJ significance|NN .|. 
But|CC there|RB ,|, as|RB everywhere|RB else|RB ,|, nothing|NN can|MD interfere|VB with|IN progress|NN and|CC ,|, regardless|RB of|IN the|DT finds|NNS and|CC their|PRP$ importance|NN ,|, the|DT archaeologist|NN must|MD eventually|RB yield|VB to|TO the|DT bulldozer|NN .|. 
Notwithstanding|IN ,|, even|RB the|DT brief|JJ glimpses|NNS afforded|VBN by|IN such|JJ investigations|NNS can|MD provide|VB some|DT insight|NN into|IN civilizations|NNS that|WDT existed|VBD hundreds|NNS or|CC ,|, in|IN some|DT cases|NNS ,|, thousands|NNS of|IN years|NNS earlier|RBR .|. 

Based|VBN on|IN the|DT sparse|NN evidence|NN available|JJ ,|, linguists|NNS theorized|VBD about|IN the|DT earlier|JJR languages|NNS that|WDT had|VBD given|VBN rise|NN to|TO those|DT attested|JJ .|. 
In|IN other|JJ words|NNS ,|, based|VBN on|IN what|WP they|PRP knew|VBD about|IN a|DT group|NN of|IN languages|NNS which|WDT were|VBD documented|VBN ,|, they|PRP tried|VBD to|TO imagine|VB the|DT language|NN that|IN they|PRP sprang|VBD from|IN .|. 
In|IN most|JJS cases|NNS ,|, they|PRP dealt|VBD with|IN words|NNS and|CC functional|JJ elements|NNS ,|, creating|VBG what|WP are|VBP called|VBN reconstructions|NNS in|IN hypothetical|JJ family|NN prototypes|NNS called|VBN ,|, variously|RB ,|, Proto-|NNP Latin|NNP ,|, Proto-|NNP Greek|JJ ,|, Proto-|NNP Germanic|NNP ,|, Proto-|NNP Indo-|NNP Iranian|JJ ,|, and|CC so|RB forth|RB ,|, the|DT ultimate|JJ goal|NN being|VBG to|TO posit|NN a|DT single|JJ language|NN called|VBD Proto-|NNP Indo-|NNP European|JJ .|. 
That|DT is|VBZ not|RB entirely|RB true|JJ ,|, for|IN linguists|NNS know|VBP too|RB much|JJ about|IN language|NN to|TO suggest|VB that|IN there|EX ever|RB was|VBD ,|, literally|RB ,|, a|DT single|JJ language|NN from|IN which|WDT all|DT Indo-|NNP European|JJ languages|NNS descended|VBD .|. 
Nonetheless|RB ,|, it|PRP is|VBZ convenient|JJ to|TO think|VB about|IN the|DT existence|NN of|IN a|DT group|NN of|IN proto-dialects|JJ which|WDT can|MD be|VB referred|VBN to|TO as|IN Proto-|NNP Indo-|NNP European|JJ .|. 

It|PRP seems|VBZ only|RB natural|JJ that|IN once|RB an|DT original|JJ language|NN ,|, or|CC Ursprache|NNP ,|, was|VBD posited|JJ ,|, the|DT next|JJ step|NN was|VBD to|TO speculate|VB on|IN its|PRP$ source|NN ,|, or|CC Urheimat|NNP .|. 
That|DT is|VBZ what|WP Renfrew|NNP has|VBZ tried|VBN to|TO do|VB .|. 
Essentially|RB ,|, he|PRP proposes|VBZ that|IN the|DT parent|NN of|IN all|DT Indo-|NNP European|JJ languages|NNS was|VBD itself|PRP born|VBN in|IN central|JJ Anatolia|NNP ,|, whence|NN it|PRP spread|VBD eastward|RB ,|, westward|RB ,|, and|CC northward|RB ,|, being|VBG modified|VBN by|IN the|DT influences|NNS of|IN the|DT languages|NNS with|IN which|WDT it|PRP came|VBD into|IN contact|NN ,|, till|IN it|PRP ultimately|RB emerged|VBD in|IN its|PRP$ recognizable|JJ ,|, modern|JJ manifestations|NNS which|WDT we|PRP categorize|NN into|IN Germanic|NNP ,|, Hellenic|NNP ,|, Italic|NNP ,|, Indo-|NNP Iranian|JJ ,|, Anatolian|NNP ,|, Armenian|JJ ,|, Celtic|NNP ,|, Tocharian|NNP ,|, Albanian|NNP ,|, and|CC BaltoSlavic|NNP .|. 

I|PRP have|VBP no|DT quarrel|VB with|IN Renfrew|NNP 's|POS theory—notwithstanding|VBG the|DT generally|RB received|VBN wisdom|NN that|WDT has|VBZ placed|VBN the|DT homeland|NN north|RB of|IN the|DT Black|NNP Sea|NNP region|NN and|CC the|DT Volga|NNP steppes|NNS .|. 
It|PRP is|VBZ difficult|JJ for|IN the|DT nonspecialist|NN reader|NN (|( like|IN me|PRP )|) to|TO assess|VB the|DT validity|NN of|IN his|PRP$ arguments|NNS ,|, which|WDT are|VBP based|VBN on|IN his|PRP$ contention|NN that|IN the|DT language|NN (|( and|CC its|PRP$ congeners|NNS )|) were|VBD carried|VBN along|IN by|IN the|DT spread|NN of|IN nomad|NN pastoralism|NN .|. 
Using|VBG the|DT evidence|NN available|JJ ,|, Renfrew|NNP contends|VBZ that|IN the|DT original|JJ Indo-|NNP European|JJ language|NN ,|, closely|RB related|VBN to|TO Hittite|NNP ,|, separated|JJ after|IN 6500|CD BC|NNP ,|, with|IN the|DT IE|NNP languages|NNS of|IN western|JJ Europe|NNP developing|VBG from|IN western|JJ Anatolia|NNP and|CC those|DT of|IN Iran|NNP ,|, India|NNP ,|, and|CC Pakistan|NNP from|IN the|DT eastern|JJ division|NN .|. 
The|DT choice|NN between|IN the|DT prevailing|VBG theory|NN and|CC Renfrew|NNP 's|POS depends|VBZ on|IN whether|IN one|CD accepts|VBZ a|DT wave|NN theory|NN ,|, first|RB promulgated|VBD more|JJR than|IN a|DT hundred|CD years|NNS ago|RB by|IN Johnanes|NNP Schmidt|NNP ,|, a|DT German|JJ linguist|NN ,|, or|CC one|CD of|IN indigenous|JJ development|NN .|. 
Pottery|NNP finds|VBZ can|MD be|VB interpreted|VBN to|TO support|VB either|CC the|DT imposition|NN of|IN an|DT elite|NN culture|NN from|IN Turkmenia|NNP or|CC a|DT late|JJ development|NN of|IN the|DT Indus|NNP civilization|NN .|. 
Renfrew|NNP accepts|VBZ the|DT wave|NN theory|NN ,|, and|CC in|IN the|DT last|JJ two|CD thirds|NNS of|IN Archaeology|NNP &|CC Language|NNP he|PRP sets|VBZ forth|RB his|PRP$ arguments|NNS in|IN its|PRP$ favor|NN .|. 
Unfortunately|RB ,|, the|DT presentation|NN of|IN his|PRP$ linguistic|JJ argument|NN ,|, where|WRB the|DT author|NN is|VBZ clearly|RB treading|VBG on|IN more|RBR speculative|JJ ground|NN than|IN in|IN those|DT parts|NNS dealing|VBG with|IN outright|JJ archaeology|NN ,|, where|WRB he|PRP is|VBZ on|IN more|RBR familiar|JJ territory|NN ,|, is|VBZ disorganized|JJ and|CC repetitious|JJ .|. 
It|PRP is|VBZ difficult|JJ to|TO place|VB all|DT the|DT blame|NN on|IN Renfrew|NNP ,|, for|IN his|PRP$ editor|NN should|MD have|VB noticed|VBN the|DT lack|NN of|IN coherence|NN .|. 
The|DT result|NN is|VBZ an|DT argument|NN that|WDT is|VBZ persuasive|JJ but|CC scarely|RB convincing|JJ .|. 

Nevertheless|RB ,|, good|JJ books|NNS on|IN archaeology|NN assimilable|JJ by|IN laymen|NN are|VBP not|RB easy|JJ to|TO find|VB ,|, and|CC if|IN the|DT reader|NN can|MD tolerate|VB its|PRP$ shortcomings|NNS and|CC is|VBZ not|RB overly|RB concerned|VBN about|IN the|DT precise|JJ birthplace|NN of|IN Indo-|NNP European|JJ ,|, Archaelogy|NNP &|CC Language|NNP provides|VBZ an|DT interesting|JJ march|NN through|IN the|DT millennia|NN of|IN prehistory|NN in|IN seven-league|JJ boots|NNS .|. 

Laurence|NNP Urdang|NNP 

Webster|NNP 's|POS Electronic|NNP Thesaurus|NNP 
This|DT software|NN consists|VBZ of|IN two|CD disks|NNS ,|, one|CD labeled|VBN Installation|NN and|CC Program|NN ,|, the|DT other|JJ Synonym|NNP Linguibase|NNP ,|, and|CC a|DT manual|JJ .|. 
The|DT manual|JJ sets|NNS forth|RB everything|NN with|IN clarity|NN ,|, and|CC the|DT program|NN is|VBZ simple|JJ to|TO install|VB ,|, requiring|VBG only|RB a|DT few|JJ minutes|NNS .|. 
Only|RB one|CD thing|NN made|VBD me|PRP a|DT little|RB suspicious|JJ when|WRB cranking|VBG up|RP the|DT system|NN :|: in|IN the|DT descriptive|JJ text|NN that|WDT appears|VBZ on|IN the|DT screen|NN ,|, the|DT word|NN labeled|VBN is|VBZ spelt|NN labelled|JJ —|NN decidedly|RB un-|NN American|NNP .|. 
However|RB ,|, I|PRP went|VBD ahead|RB ,|, and|CC ,|, since|IN I|PRP was|VBD typing|VBG the|DT text|NN you|PRP are|VBP reading|VBG ,|, returned|VBD to|TO the|DT beginning|NN of|IN the|DT paragraph|NN to|TO see|VB how|WRB some|DT of|IN these|DT words|NNS would|MD fare|VB .|. 
I|PRP looked|VBD up|RP the|DT word|NN preceding|VBG and|CC was|VBD ,|, after|IN a|DT brief|JJ moment|NN ,|, asked|VBD to|TO type|NN in|IN the|DT word|NN ,|, which|WDT I|PRP did|VBD .|. 
The|DT screen|NN bloomed|JJ forth|RB with|IN the|DT following|VBG :|: 

Query|NNP :|: preceding|VBG 

1|LS )|) adj|NN being|VBG before|IN especially|RB in|IN time|NN or|CC arrangement|NN 

There|EX were|VBD also|RB some|DT other|JJ parts|NNS of|IN speech|NN :|: one|CD definition|NN for|IN the|DT preposition|NN and|CC three|CD for|IN the|DT verb|NN (|( participial|NN )|) senses|NNS .|. 
I|PRP called|VBD up|RP the|DT synonyms|NNS for|IN the|DT adj|NN and|CC the|DT following|JJ appeared|VBN :|: 

Synonyms|NNP :|: 
antecedent|NN ,|, anterior|NN ,|, foregoing|VBG ,|, former|JJ ,|, past|JJ ,|, precedent|NN ,|, previous|JJ ,|, prior|RB 

The|DT way|NN the|DT program|NN works|VBZ is|VBZ this|DT :|: one|CD uses|VBZ the|DT cursor|NN to|TO highlight|VB a|DT particular|JJ word|NN for|IN which|WDT synonyms|NNS are|VBP desired|VBN .|. 
It|PRP is|VBZ similar|JJ ,|, in|IN principle|NN ,|, to|TO finding|VBG a|DT synonym|NN in|IN a|DT synonym|NN dictionary|JJ and|CC then|RB looking|VBG up|RP its|PRP$ synonyms|NNS to|TO find|VB them|PRP .|. 
I|PRP am|VBP not|RB sure|JJ why|WRB ,|, but|CC I|PRP expected|VBD the|DT program|NN to|TO network|VB in|IN the|DT same|JJ way|NN .|. 
However|RB ,|, when|WRB I|PRP highlighted|VBD antecedent|NN ,|, what|WP appeared|VBD on|IN the|DT screen|NN was|VBD the|DT same|JJ list|NN of|IN synonyms|NNS but|CC with|IN antecedent|NN missing|VBG ,|, and|CC preceding|VBG had|VBN reappeared|JJ .|. 
If|IN all|PDT this|DT is|VBZ too|RB complicated|VBN to|TO follow|VB ,|, let|VB me|PRP summarize|VB :|: you|PRP look|VBP up|RB word|NN X|NNP and|CC get|VB synonyms|NNS A|DT ,|, B|NNP ,|, C|NNP ,|, D|NNP ,|, E|NNP ,|, F|NN ,|, and|CC G.|NN You|PRP look|VBP up|RP the|DT synonyms|NNS for|IN word|NN A|DT ,|, and|CC you|PRP get|VBP synonyms|NNS X|NN ,|, B|NNP ,|, C|NNP ,|, D|NNP ,|, E|NNP ,|, F|NN ,|, and|CC G.|NN Even|RB the|DT definition|NN provided|VBN for|IN the|DT sub-listings|JJ is|VBZ identical|JJ in|IN wording|NN to|TO that|DT of|IN the|DT word|NN originally|RB sought|VBD .|. 

This|DT is|VBZ very|RB economical|JJ of|IN space|NN and|CC involves|VBZ a|DT clever|JJ computer|NN ploy|NN ,|, but|CC it|PRP does|VBZ not|RB provide|VB a|DT particularly|RB useful|JJ synonym|NN dictionary|JJ ,|, for|RB ,|, as|IN we|PRP all|DT know|VBP ,|, synonymy|NN in|IN language|NN does|VBZ not|RB yield|VB to|TO the|DT commutative|JJ law|NN of|IN mathematics|NN ;|: in|IN language|NN ,|, Things|NNS equal|JJ to|TO the|DT same|JJ thing|NN are|VBP not|RB (|( necessarily|RB )|) equal|JJ to|TO each|DT other|JJ .|. 
Perhaps|RB the|DT Proximity|NNP people|NNS thought|VBD that|IN they|PRP had|VBD got|VBN round|NN that|IN little|JJ problem|NN by|IN giving|VBG the|DT same|JJ definition|NN for|IN each|DT of|IN the|DT items|NNS in|IN the|DT list|NN ;|: but|CC we|PRP know|VBP that|IN only|RB very|RB rarely|RB are|VBP two|CD synonyms|NNS bi-unique|JJ (|( which|WDT is|VBZ another|DT way|NN of|IN saying|VBG that|IN if|IN A|DT =|SYM B|NN ,|, B|NNP does|VBZ not|RB necessarily|RB always|RB equal|VB A|DT )|) ,|, an|DT ineluctable|JJ fact|NN of|IN language|NN .|. 

If|IN a|DT relatively|RB limited|JJ access|NN to|TO a|DT synonym|NN dictionary|JJ is|VBZ likely|JJ to|TO be|VB of|IN use|NN ,|, then|RB this|DT package|NN may|MD be|VB of|IN service|NN .|. 
It|PRP works|VBZ with|IN a|DT hard|JJ disk|NN or|CC with|IN a|DT set|NN of|IN floppies|NNS and|CC can|MD be|VB used|VBN with|IN 29|CD popular|JJ word-processing|NN programs|NNS .|. 
(|( That|DT was|VBD the|DT number|NN listed|VBN when|WRB I|PRP received|VBD my|PRP$ copy|NN ;|: it|PRP might|MD have|VB increased|VBN .|. )|) 
It|PRP also|RB has|VBZ a|DT few|JJ neat|JJ features|NNS ,|, like|IN suggesting|VBG a|DT few|JJ alternatives|NNS if|IN you|PRP happen|VBP to|TO think|VB that|IN preceding|VBG is|VBZ spelt|NN preceeding|VBG (|( as|IN many|JJ people|NNS do|VBP )|) .|. 
It|PRP has|VBZ a|DT useful|JJ Help|NN feature|NN that|WDT can|MD be|VB called|VBN upon|IN at|IN any|DT stage|NN .|. 
Also|RB ,|, if|IN you|PRP enter|VBP jump|NN ,|, you|PRP get|VBP the|DT synonyms|NNS for|IN that|DT ;|: but|CC if|IN you|PRP enter|VBP jumped|VBD ,|, you|PRP get|VBP the|DT (|( same|JJ )|) synonyms|NNS but|CC inflected—including|VBG the|DT variants|NNS leapt|VBD ,|, leaped|VBD for|IN leap|NN .|. 
All|DT in|IN all|DT ,|, for|IN a|DT relatively|RB primitive|JJ system|NN ,|, it|PRP is|VBZ not|RB too|RB bad|JJ ;|: but|CC you|PRP would|MD have|VB to|TO be|VB in|IN love|NN with|IN your|PRP$ computer|NN to|TO use|VB it|PRP in|IN preference|NN to|TO a|DT far|RB more|RBR complete|JJ books|NNS of|IN synonyms|NNS available|JJ (|( especially|RB The|DT Synonym|NNP Finder|NNP ,|, Rodale|NNP in|IN the|DT U.S.|NN and|CC Canada|NNP ,|, Longman|NNP elsewhere|RB ,|, which|WDT offers|VBZ more|JJR than|IN 800,000|CD synonyms|NNS ,|, more|JJR than|IN three|CD times|NNS the|DT number|NN listed|VBN in|IN any|DT other|JJ synonym|NN book|NN )|) .|. 

The|DT blurb|NN on|IN this|DT book|NN /|NN disk|NN package|NN reads|VBZ ,|, Supplies|NNP you|PRP with|IN 470,000|CD true|JJ synonyms|NNS for|IN 40,000|CD entries|NNS .|. 
My|PRP$ guess|VBP is|VBZ that|IN such|JJ a|DT quantity|NN might|MD be|VB reached|VBN if|IN one|CD counted|VBD all|PDT the|DT permutations|NNS and|CC combinations|NNS ;|: in|IN reality|NN ,|, though|RB ,|, there|EX are|VBP probably|RB far|RB fewer|RBR actual|JJ words|NNS .|. 
Readers|NNS can|MD judge|VB for|IN themselves|PRP the|DT validity|NN of|IN this|DT numerical|JJ legerdemain|NN .|. 

Laurence|NNP Urdang|NNP 

Family|NNP Words|NNPS 
In|IN 1962|CD ,|, American|NNP Speech|NNP published|VBD Family|NNP Words|NNPS in|IN English|NNP ,|, by|IN Allen|NNP Walker|NNP Read|NNP ,|, which|WDT was|VBD reprinted|VBN in|IN VERBATIM|NNP Vol.|NN I|PRP ,|, No.|NN 4|LS ,|, (|( 1975|CD )|) .|. 
The|DT article|NN is|VBZ a|DT classic|NN ,|, probably|RB the|DT first|JJ on|IN the|DT subject|NN to|TO appear|VB in|IN a|DT scholarly|JJ journal|NN ,|, though|IN there|EX are|VBP other|JJ informal|JJ references|NNS to|TO family|NN language|NN ,|, some|DT of|IN which|WDT are|VBP documented|VBN by|IN Dickson|NNP in|IN his|PRP$ Bibliography|NNP .|. 

Family|NN words|NNS and|CC expressions|NNS crop|NN up|RB everywhere|RB .|. 
Some|DT are|VBP quite|RB unique|JJ and|CC their|PRP$ reporters|NNS cannot|NN imagine|VB their|PRP$ origin|NN ;|: others|NNS ,|, like|IN Penn|NNP Station|NNP ,|, what|WP one|CD family|NN terms|NNS a|DT child|NN 's|POS misinterpretation|NN of|IN a|DT famous|JJ line|NN or|CC phrase|NN ,|, are|VBP clear|JJ :|: the|DT generic|JJ term|NN comes|VBZ from|IN the|DT Lord|NNP 's|POS Prayer—|NNP And|CC lead|VB us|PRP not|RB into|IN Penn|NNP Station|NNP .|. 
Obviously|RB ,|, that|WDT works|VBZ only|RB for|IN kids|NNS familiar|JJ with|IN New|NNP York|NNP City|NNP .|. 
Other|JJ Penn|NNP Stations|NNPS :|: 
Our|PRP$ Father|NNP ,|, which|WDT art|NN in|IN heaven|NN ,|, Harold|NNP be|VB Thy|NNP name|NN .|. 
Land|NNP where|WRB the|DT Pilgrims|NNP pried|JJ .|. 
Bells|NNP on|IN cocktails|NNS ring|VBP .|. 
I|PRP pledge|NN my|PRP$ allowance|NN to|TO the|DT flag|NN .|. 
Gladly|NNP the|DT cross-eyed|JJ bear|NN Onward|NNP Christian|NNP Soldiers|NNS ,|, Marching|NNP as|IN to|TO War|NNP ,|, With|IN the|DT cross-eyed|JJ Jesus|NNP ,|, Leaning|NNP on|IN the|DT phone|NN .|. 
.|. .|. .|. One|CD nation|NN ,|, invisible|JJ .|. .|. .|. 
.|. .|. .|. One|CD nation|NN ,|, in|IN a|DT vegetable|NN .|. .|. .|. 

Many|JJ people|NNS know|VBP F.H.B.|NN for|IN `|`` family|NN hold|NN back|RB ,|, '|'' an|DT exhortation|NN ensuring|VBG ample|JJ provender|NN for|IN guests|NNS .|. 

This|DT is|VBZ not|RB to|TO suggest|VB that|IN Dickson|NNP 's|POS book|NN is|VBZ a|DT catalogue|NN of|IN bloopers|NNS ,|, or|CC what|WP Amsel|NNP Greene|NNP (|( and|CC Jack|NNP Smith|NNP )|) like|IN to|TO call|VB pullet|NN surprises|NNS .|. 
There|EX are|VBP many|JJ interesting|JJ entries|NNS in|IN Family|NNP Words|NNPS which|WDT ,|, as|RB far|RB as|IN I|PRP know|VBP ,|, is|VBZ the|DT first|JJ documentation|NN of|IN the|DT genre|NN .|. 
There|EX are|VBP occasional|JJ hidden|VBN entries|NNS ,|, as|IN the|DT list|NN of|IN diseases—among|NN them|PRP the|DT dread|NN mohogus|JJ —|NN under|IN the|DT entry|NN for|IN Fowlenzia|NNP .|. 
(|( In|IN the|DT VERBATIM|NNP family|NN ,|, some|DT suffer|VB from|IN Fowler|NNP 's|POS pip|NN ,|, an|DT affliction|NN affecting|VBG language|NN fanatics|NNS who|WP base|VBP a|DT slavish|NN purism|NN on|IN a|DT literal|JJ interpretation|NN of|IN Modern|NNP English|NNP Usage|NNP .|. )|) 

Family|NNP Words|NNPS is|VBZ useful|JJ and|CC fun|NN .|. 
Inevitably|RB ,|, some|DT of|IN the|DT entries|NNS are|VBP more|RBR imaginative|JJ than|IN others|NNS ;|: Dickson|NNP will|MD have|VB his|PRP$ hands|NNS full|JJ if|IN everyone|NN responds|VBZ giving|VBG private|JJ words|NNS .|. 
Please|VB sent|VBD yours|NNS to|TO the|DT author|NN ,|, c|SYM /|NN o|NN Addison-|NNP Wesley|NNP ,|, Reading|VBG ,|, MA|NNP 01867|CD ,|, not|RB to|TO VERBATIM|NNP .|. 

Laurence|NNP Urdang|NNP 

A|DT Midwesterner|NNP ,|, Will|NNP Hays|NNP ,|, Jr|NNP .|. ,|, who|WP is|VBZ proud|JJ of|IN his|PRP$ knowledge|NN of|IN post-|NN Civil-|NNP War|NNP history|NN ,|, tells|VBZ me|PRP the|DT following|VBG origin|NN of|IN shot|NN ,|, as|IN in|IN shotglass|NNS ,|, absent|JJ from|IN Gunning|NNP for|IN the|DT English|NNP Language|NNP :|: 

Although|IN we|PRP associate|JJ trench|NN warfare|NN with|IN World|NNP War|NNP I|PRP ,|, trenches|NNS were|VBD characteristic|JJ also|RB of|IN the|DT Civil|NNP War|NNP .|. 
A|DT scaffold|NN was|VBD built|VBN so|IN that|IN a|DT rifleman—|NN who|WP fired|VBD a|DT single-shot|JJ ,|, muzzle-loading|JJ shoulder|NN weapon—could|NN step|NN up|RB and|CC shoot|VB over|IN the|DT top|NN of|IN the|DT trench|NN .|. 
The|DT soldier|NN in|IN charge|NN would|MD command|VB ,|, after|IN each|DT firing|NN ,|, that|IN the|DT rank|NN on|IN the|DT scaffold|NN step|NN down|RB and|CC be|VB replaced|VBN by|IN the|DT rank|NN that|WDT had|VBD just|RB reloaded|JJ ,|, thus|RB alternating|VBG ranks|NNS and|CC sustaining|VBG the|DT rifle|NN fire|NN .|. 

That|DT war|NN ,|, like|IN others|NNS ,|, produced|VBD disgruntled|JJ veterans|NNS and|CC those|DT more|RBR adventurous|JJ or|CC more|RBR restless|JJ after|IN military|JJ service|NN .|. 
They|PRP moved|VBD westward|RB to|TO start|VB a|DT new|JJ life|NN .|. 
The|DT population|NN increased|VBD markedly|RB ,|, with|IN corresponding|JJ demands|NNS for|IN goods|NNS and|CC services|NNS ,|, among|IN them|PRP the|DT need|NN for|IN saloons|NNS .|. 
Most|JJS new|JJ saloons|NNS were|VBD small|JJ and|CC the|DT bars|NNS short|JJ ,|, accommodating|VBG with|IN difficulty|NN the|DT many|JJ bunched|JJ up|RB ,|, in|IN ranks|NNS ,|, if|IN you|PRP will|MD ,|, calling|VBG for|IN whiskey|NN .|. 
Many|JJ of|IN the|DT thirsty|JJ crowd|NN were|VBD veterans|NNS ,|, as|IN were|VBD many|JJ of|IN the|DT bartenders|NNS .|. 
Thus|RB ,|, Step|NN down|RB (|( or|CC back|RB )|) and|CC give|VB me|PRP a|DT shot|NN was|VBD readily|RB understood|VBN .|. 
I|PRP 've|VBP not|RB been|VBN able|JJ to|TO corroborate|VBP this|DT explanation|NN ,|, but|CC I|PRP 'll|MD never|RB forget|VB it|PRP .|. 

Mr.|NN Joseph|NNP Hymes|NNP '|POS Do|VBP Mistake—|NNP Learn|NNP Better|NNP [|NN XV|NNP ,|, 1|CD ]|NN brought|VBN to|TO mind|VB the|DT time|NN a|DT Japanese|JJ acquaintance|NN told|VBD me|PRP of|IN a|DT friend|NN of|IN hers|PRP who|WP decided|VBD to|TO tackle|VB the|DT original|JJ English|NNP version|NN of|IN three|CD books|NNS she|PRP had|VBD enjoyed|VBN while|IN in|IN Japan|NNP .|. 
She|PRP boldly|RB marched|VBD into|IN a|DT bookstore|NN and|CC asked|VBD the|DT salesclerk|NN for|IN a|DT copy|NN each|DT of|IN Hemingway|NNP 's|VBZ The|DT Sun|NNP Come|VBN Up|IN Again|RB and|CC Throw|VB Away|RB the|DT Gun|NNP and|CC Steinbeck|NNP 's|VBZ The|DT Angry|NNP Grape|NNP .|. 
Is|VBZ there|EX a|DT term|NN for|IN the|DT errors|NNS that|WDT creep|NN in|IN while|IN translating|VBG a|DT passage|NN back|RB into|IN the|DT original|JJ tongue|NN ?|. 

Mr.|NN Davidson|NNP 's|POS observations|NNS on|IN the|DT Scottishness|NNP of|IN Chambers|NNP 20|CD th|NN Century|NNP Dictionary|NNP [|NN XV|NNP ,|, 1|CD ]|NN bear|NN out|RP my|PRP$ own|JJ formed|VBN over|IN sixteen|CD years|NNS of|IN using|VBG one|CD .|. 
An|DT odd|JJ sidelight|NN on|IN this|DT came|VBD a|DT few|JJ days|NNS after|IN reading|VBG the|DT article|NN .|. 
Definitions|NNP under|IN pet|NN end|NN with|IN Petting|NNP Party|NNP (|( coll|NN .|. )|) a|DT gathering|NN for|IN the|DT purpose|NN of|IN caressing|VBG as|IN an|DT organised|JJ sport|NN .|. 
(|( Origin|NNP unknown|JJ ;|: not|RB from|IN Gaelic|JJ )|) I|PRP think|VBP it|PRP hardly|RB fanciful|JJ to|TO discern|VB a|DT note|NN of|IN Calvinist|NNP disapproval|NN in|IN this|DT curt|NN disclaimer|NN .|. 

Although|IN I|PRP greatly|RB enjoyed|VBD Richard|NNP Lederer|NNP 's|POS article|NN ,|, I|PRP fear|VBP that|IN one|CD of|IN his|PRP$ paragraphs|NNS is|VBZ a|DT load|NN of|IN brass|NN monkey|NN balls|NNS .|. 

The|DT monkey|NN on|IN board|NN ship|NN was|VBD a|DT lad|NN employed|VBN to|TO fetch|VB supplies—powder|NN and|CC so|RB forth—to|NN the|DT guns|NNS .|. 
The|DT word|NN might|MD also|RB have|VB been|VBN used|VBN for|IN a|DT receptacle|NN near|IN the|DT guns|NNS where|WRB powder|NN and|CC balls|NNS were|VBD kept|VBN .|. 
However|RB ,|, this|DT receptacle|NN would|MD have|VB taken|VBN the|DT form|NN of|IN a|DT wooden|JJ box|NN or|CC something|NN similar|JJ .|. 
The|DT idea|NN of|IN a|DT metal|NN stand|NN carrying|VBG a|DT pyramid|NN of|IN cannon|NN balls|NNS so|RB delicately|RB balanced|JJ as|IN to|TO be|VB affected|VBN by|IN the|DT tiny|JJ differential|NN expansion|NN of|IN brass|NN and|CC iron|NN does|VBZ not|RB bear|VB thinking|VBG about|IN in|IN a|DT heavy|JJ sea|NN .|. 

So|RB what|WP is|VBZ the|DT explanation|NN of|IN the|DT phrase|NN cold|JJ enough|RB to|TO freeze|VB the|DT balls|NNS off|IN a|DT brass|NN monkey|NN ?|. 
Well|RB ,|, the|DT obvious|JJ one|CD ,|, I|PRP believe|VBP .|. 
Anybody|NN who|WP asks|VBZ Why|WRB a|DT brass|NN monkey|NN ?|. is|VBZ probably|RB not|RB aware|JJ that|IN brass|NN monkeys|NNS were|VBD very|RB common|JJ household|NN ornaments|NNS in|IN England|NNP in|IN the|DT 19|CD th|NN and|CC early|JJ 20|CD th|NN centuries|NNS .|. 
Originally|RB ,|, they|PRP were|VBD probably|RB imported|VBN from|IN India|NNP ,|, but|CC were|VBD later|RB mass-produced|JJ in|IN places|NNS such|JJ as|IN Birmingham|NNP to|TO grace|VB Victorian|JJ and|CC Edwardian|NNP mantelshelves|NNS .|. 
They|PRP can|MD still|RB be|VB found|VBN today|NN in|IN so-called|JJ gift|NN shops|NNS .|. 
Usually|RB ,|, they|PRP come|VBP in|IN sets|NNS of|IN three|CD ,|, one|CD with|IN its|PRP$ hands|NNS over|IN its|PRP$ eyes|NNS ,|, one|CD over|IN its|PRP$ ears|NNS ,|, and|CC one|CD over|IN its|PRP$ mouth|NN :|: they|PRP were|VBD said|VBN to|TO represent|VB See|VB no|DT evil|NN ,|, Hear|NNP no|DT evil|NN ,|, Speak|NNP no|DT evil|NN .|. 
There|EX were|VBD various|JJ whimsical|JJ variants|NNS .|. 

I|PRP am|VBP sure|JJ I|PRP am|VBP not|RB the|DT first|JJ to|TO point|VB out|RP Joseph|NNP Hynes|NNP 's|POS ,|, Do|VBP Mistake—|NNP Learn|NNP Better|NNP ,|, [|NN XV|NNP ,|, 1|CD ]|NN mistakes|NNS in|IN Japanizing|NNP English|NNP words|NNS ,|, e.g.|NN ,|, sei|NN fu|NN not|RB safe-o|JJ ,|, nain|NN not|RB nine-o|JJ .|. 
The|DT possibilities|NNS for|IN representing|VBG English|NNP with|IN a|DT language|NN of|IN only|RB forty-seven|CD syllables|NNS are|VBP not|RB that|IN numerous|JJ ,|, and|CC the|DT rules|NNS are|VBP very|RB consistent|JJ .|. 
The|DT main|JJ problems|NNS are|VBP representing|VBG consonant|JJ clusters|NNS and|CC word-final|JJ consonants|NNS .|. 
These|DT difficulties|NNS produce|VBP such|JJ monstrosities|NNS as|IN sutoraike|NN for|IN English|NNP `|`` strike|NN '|'' —|NN one|CD syllable|NN in|IN English|NNP ,|, five|CD in|IN Japanese|NN .|. 

Every|DT Japan|NNP veteran|NN has|VBZ his|PRP$ list|NN of|IN favorite|JJ mistakes|NNS .|. 
Mine|NNP are|VBP the|DT ones|NNS that|WDT are|VBP possible|JJ ,|, but|CC wrong|JJ ,|, English|NNP .|. 
Adding|VBG the|DT Japanese|JJ final|JJ vowels|NNS produces|VBZ Gone|VBN with|IN the|DT Windo|NNP .|. 
Hypercorrection|NNP ,|, where|WRB Japanese|JJ speakers|NNS learn|VBP that|IN many|JJ final|JJ vowels|NNS do|VBP not|RB exist|VB in|IN the|DT American|JJ version|NN of|IN the|DT tongue|NN and|CC so|RB remove|VB them|PRP ,|, sometimes|RB incorrectly|RB ,|, gives|VBZ us|PRP the|DT California|NNP cities|NNS of|IN San|NNP Francisk|NNP and|CC Sacrament|NNP .|. 
This|DT process|NN resulted|VBD in|IN the|DT sign|NN reading|NN Pizz|NNP and|CC Coffee|NNP .|. 

My|PRP$ absolute|JJ favorite|NN of|IN these|DT semantic|JJ mistakes|NNS ,|, however|RB ,|, does|VBZ not|RB come|VB from|IN the|DT problem|NN of|IN sound|NN .|. 
Japanese|NN has|VBZ a|DT verb|NN inflection|NN which|WDT expresses|VBZ causation|NN or|CC permission—in|NN English|NNP ,|, to|TO make|VB someone|NN or|CC to|TO let|VB someone|NN do|VBP something|NN .|. 
One|CD day|NN during|IN a|DT university|NN English|NNP class|NN ,|, a|DT very|RB discomfited|JJ student|NN ,|, after|IN frantic|JJ and|CC obtrusive|JJ dictionary|JJ work|NN ,|, handed|VBD a|DT colleague|NN of|IN mine|NN a|DT scrap|NN of|IN paper|NN .|. 
On|IN it|PRP was|VBD written|VBN this|DT sentence|NN :|: Please|VB make|VB me|PRP go|VB to|TO the|DT bathroom|NN .|. 

You|PRP Could|MD Look|VB It|PRP Up|IN 
As|IN everyone|NN in|IN the|DT world|NN must|MD know|VB by|IN now|RB ,|, William|NNP Safire|NNP writes|VBZ a|DT column|NN in|IN The|DT New|NNP York|NNP Times|NNP Magazine|NNP called|VBD On|IN Language|NNP .|. 
Considering|VBG the|DT circulation|NN of|IN The|DT New|NNP York|NNP Times|NNP on|IN Sundays|NNS ,|, his|PRP$ column|NN is|VBZ probably|RB the|DT most|RBS widely|RB read|VB commentary|NN on|IN contemporary|JJ English|NNP in|IN the|DT world|NN ;|: that|IN places|NNS more|JJR than|IN one|CD uncommon|JJ burden|NN on|IN a|DT writer|NN :|: he|PRP must|MD do|VB his|PRP$ utmost|JJ to|TO be|VB accurate|JJ ;|: he|PRP must|MD try|VB to|TO select|VB subjects|NNS likely|JJ to|TO be|VB of|IN interest|NN to|TO his|PRP$ readers|NNS ;|: and|CC he|PRP must|MD write|VB well|RB .|. 

Those|DT familiar|JJ with|IN Safire|NNP 's|POS editorial|NN style|NN ,|, reflected|VBD in|IN his|PRP$ political|JJ columns|NNS on|IN the|DT editorial|NN pages|NNS of|IN The|DT N.|NN Y.|NN Times|NNP ,|, may|MD agree|VB with|IN me|PRP in|IN the|DT contention|NN that|IN when|WRB he|PRP writes|VBZ about|IN language|NN he|PRP seems|VBZ to|TO be|VB writing|VBG on|IN his|PRP$ day|NN off|RP :|: I|PRP cannot|NN put|VBD my|PRP$ finger|NN on|IN why|WRB ,|, but|CC On|IN Language|NNP always|RB strikes|VBZ me|PRP as|IN an|DT excruciating|VBG effort|NN to|TO be|VB cute|JJ .|. 
In|IN part|NN ,|, that|WDT is|VBZ attributable|JJ to|TO the|DT designation|NN of|IN his|PRP$ correspondents|NNS ,|, who|WP keep|VBP him|PRP informed|VBD on|IN language|NN that|WDT is|VBZ not|RB within|IN earshot|NN ,|, as|IN the|DT Lexicographic|NNP Irregulars|NNP ,|, an|DT amusing|JJ reference|NN the|DT first|JJ time|NN or|CC two|CD it|PRP was|VBD used|VBN but|CC now|RB beginning|VBG to|TO cloy|NN .|. 
More|RBR often|RB than|IN it|PRP might|MD prove|VB of|IN interest|NN to|TO me|PRP ,|, personally|RB ,|, Safire|NNP deals|NNS with|IN insiders|NNS '|POS language|NN in|IN Washington|NNP (|( where|WRB he|PRP is|VBZ based|VBN )|) or|CC with|IN trivialities|NNS uttered|VBD by|IN some|DT politico|NN .|. 

As|IN Andrew|NNP Norman|NNP wrote|VBD ,|, in|IN a|DT letter|NN published|VBN in|IN this|DT book|NN on|IN page|NN 113|CD ,|, You|PRP flit|NN freely|RB back|RB and|CC forth|RB between|IN prescriptivism|NN and|CC descriptivism|NN .|. 
But|CC are|VBP not|RB many|JJ of|IN us|PRP guilty|JJ of|IN that|DT ?|. 
We|PRP are|VBP descriptive|JJ of|IN the|DT usages|NNS we|PRP accept|VBP and|CC prescriptive—perhaps|NNS proscriptive|JJ would|MD be|VB more|JJR descriptive—of|NN those|DT we|PRP do|VBP not|RB like|IN .|. 
At|IN least|JJS Safire|NNP expresses|VBZ an|DT opinion|NN ;|: whether|IN the|DT reader|NN agrees|VBZ with|IN him|PRP is|VBZ another|DT matter|NN ,|, as|IN are|VBP the|DT questions|NNS of|IN his|PRP$ accuracy|NN ,|, which|WDT arise|VBP fairly|RB often|RB ,|, and|CC that|IN of|IN the|DT suitability|NN of|IN his|PRP$ style|NN ,|, which|WDT ,|, as|RB far|RB as|IN I|PRP know|VBP ,|, has|VBZ not|RB been|VBN broached|JJ before|RB .|. 
It|PRP ill|JJ behooves|NNS me|PRP ,|, excoriated|VBN recently|RB as|IN enamored|JJ of|IN the|DT cheap|JJ larf|NN ,|, to|TO criticize|VB Safire|NNP 's|POS arch|NN puns|NNS ,|, which|WDT permeate—|NN enliven|NN is|VBZ probably|RB the|DT word|NN his|PRP$ editor|NN would|MD use—his|NNS articles|NNS ,|, but|CC I|PRP find|VBP some|DT kinds|NNS of|IN humor|NN unsuitable|JJ for|IN reading|NN ,|, however|RB they|PRP might|MD evoke|VBP a|DT chuckle|NN when|WRB uttered|VBD viva|FW voce|NN .|. 
A|DT handful|NN of|IN examples|NNS ,|, from|IN the|DT book|NN at|IN hand|NN :|: 
Therefore|RB ,|, I|PRP stand|VBP uncorrected|JJ .|. 
[|NN p.|NN 112|CD ]|NN 
.|. .|. .|. 
Get|VB your|PRP$ hand|NN off|IN my|PRP$ knee|NN .|. 
(|( That|DT 's|VBZ a|DT mnemonic|JJ ,|, pronounced|VBN knee-|NN MONIC|NNP .|. )|) 
Ize|NNP Right|RB ?|. 
[|NN title|NN ,|, p.|NN 114|CD ]|NN 
Juggernaughty|NNP but|CC Nice|NNP [|NN title|NN ,|, p.|NN 115|CD ]|NN 
.|. .|. .|. slanguist|NN .|. .|. .|. [|NN p.|NN 116|CD ]|NN 
Lex|NNP Appeal|NN [|NN title|NN ,|, p.|NN 121|CD ]|NN 
Logue-|NNP Rolling|NNP [|NN title|NN ,|, p.|NN 123|CD ]|NN 
[|NN on|IN -|: logue|NN vs.|NN -|: log|VB :|: ]|NN Some|DT people|NNS prefer|VBP their|PRP$ logues|NNS sawed|JJ off|RP .|. .|. .|. [|NN p.|NN 123|CD ]|NN 
But|CC the|DT Library|NNP of|IN Congress|NNP wants|VBZ to|TO be|VB non-|NN U|NNP [|NN in|IN its|PRP$ spelling|NN of|IN -|: logue|NN words|NNS ]|NN .|. 
[|NN ibid|NN .|. ]|NN 

Writing|VBG containing|VBG such|JJ labored|JJ figures|NNS makes|VBZ for|IN hard|JJ reading|NN .|. 
I|PRP am|VBP interested|JJ in|IN what|WP Safire|NNP has|VBZ to|TO say|VB about|IN language|NN but|CC find|VB myself|PRP stymied|VBN :|: I|PRP get|VBP the|DT feeling|NN that|IN he|PRP has|VBZ deliberately|RB created|VBN a|DT minefield|NN of|IN interruptions|NNS in|IN thought|VBD through|IN which|WDT I|PRP must|MD pick|VB my|PRP$ way|NN to|TO the|DT end|NN .|. 
Notwithstanding|IN the|DT valuable|JJ role|NN he|PRP plays|VBZ in|IN inspiring|JJ nonlinguists|NNS to|TO think|VB about|IN language|NN and|CC in|IN informing|VBG them|PRP about|IN myriad|JJ facets|NNS of|IN the|DT subject|NN ,|, I|PRP find|VBP it|PRP hard|JJ slogging|VBG (|( or|CC ,|, as|IN he|PRP would|MD probably|RB write|VB ,|, sloguing|VBG )|) .|. 

You|PRP Could|MD Look|VB It|PRP Up|IN is|VBZ the|DT umpteenth|NN collection|NN of|IN Safire|NNP 's|POS columns|NNS and|CC ,|, like|IN the|DT previous|JJ collections|NNS ,|, contains|VBZ a|DT selection|NN of|IN letters|NNS from|IN readers|NNS .|. 
It|PRP is|VBZ those|DT that|WDT are|VBP so|RB sorely|RB missed|VBD in|IN his|PRP$ column|NN .|. 
True|JJ ,|, there|EX is|VBZ an|DT occasional|JJ mention|NN in|IN his|PRP$ column|NN of|IN a|DT point|NN raised|VBN by|IN a|DT correspondent|NN ,|, and|CC the|DT Letters|NNS section|NN of|IN the|DT Magazine|NNP prints|VBZ a|DT comment|NN from|IN time|NN to|TO time|NN ,|, but|CC an|DT important|JJ feature|NN of|IN the|DT books|NNS is|VBZ their|PRP$ inclusion|NN of|IN far|RB more|RBR writer-reader|JJ interaction|NN than|IN one|CD might|MD suspect|VB from|IN reading|VBG the|DT column|NN alone|RB .|. 
For|IN one|CD thing|NN ,|, the|DT letter-writers|JJ call|NN attention|NN to|TO errors|NNS or|CC misinterpretations|NNS and|CC are|VBP largely|RB critical|JJ .|. 
Safire|NNP cannot|NN be|VB accused|VBN of|IN being|VBG copy-proud|JJ (|( except|IN ,|, evidently|RB ,|, of|IN awful|JJ puns|NNS ,|, as|IN in|IN Ms.|NN is|VBZ deliberately|RB msterious|JJ ,|, but|CC at|IN least|JJS it|PRP is|VBZ not|RB deliberately|RB msleading|VBG and|CC other|JJ mscegenations|NNS )|) .|. 

There|EX is|VBZ no|DT gainsaying|VBG that|IN Safire|NNP is|VBZ one|CD of|IN the|DT most|RBS influential|JJ writers|NNS on|IN contemporary|JJ English|NNP ,|, and|CC it|PRP is|VBZ essential|JJ that|IN his|PRP$ books|NNS be|VB in|IN the|DT libraries|NNS of|IN all|DT who|WP are|VBP interested|JJ in|IN the|DT subject|NN ,|, regardless|RB of|IN their|PRP$ alignment|NN with|IN his|PRP$ opinions|NNS .|. 
For|IN one|CD thing|NN ,|, he|PRP documents|VBZ many|JJ neologisms|NNS ,|, an|DT activity|NN that|IN endears|NNS him|PRP to|TO many|JJ working|NN lexicographers|NNS .|. 
From|IN the|DT sometimes|RB cavalier|JJ manner|NN in|IN which|WDT he|PRP treats|VBZ his|PRP$ subject|JJ ,|, one|CD wonders|VBZ if|IN Safire|NNP feels|VBZ the|DT burden|NN of|IN the|DT responsibility|NN he|PRP has|VBZ toward|IN his|PRP$ readers|NNS .|. 

The|DT publisher|NN sent|VBD unrevised|JJ bound|VBN proofs|NNS from|IN which|WDT this|DT review|NN was|VBD prepared|VBN ;|: unfortunately|RB ,|, there|EX was|VBD no|DT proof|NN of|IN an|DT index|NN ,|, but|CC the|DT publisher|NN has|VBZ assured|VBN me|PRP that|IN there|EX will|MD be|VB one|CD in|IN the|DT published|VBN book|NN ,|, a|DT rather|RB essential|JJ ingredient|NN of|IN a|DT work|NN with|IN this|DT title|NN .|. 

Laurence|NNP Urdang|NNP 

Webster|NNP 's|POS New|NNP World|NNP Guide|NNP to|TO Current|NNP American|NNP Usage|NNP 
Here|RB is|VBZ a|DT commonsense|NN style|NN book|NN ,|, useful|JJ to|TO those|DT who|WP have|VBP the|DT education|NN and|CC common|JJ sense|NN to|TO be|VB in|IN doubt|NN about|IN questions|NNS of|IN English|NNP usage|NN .|. 
It|PRP has|VBZ some|DT problems|NNS ,|, if|IN you|PRP want|VBP to|TO be|VB sticky|JJ about|IN things|NNS :|: on|IN p.|NN xv|NN we|PRP read|VBP :|: 
.|. .|. .|. Einstein|NNP 's|POS Special|JJ Theory|NNP of|IN Relativity|NNP does|VBZ not|RB say|VB that|IN E|NNP =|SYM MC|NNP and|CC in|IN leap|NN year|NN MC|NNP .|. 

Indeed|RB it|PRP does|VBZ not|RB .|. 
But|CC it|PRP does|VBZ say|VB E|NNP =|SYM mc|NN ;|: the|DT version|NN with|IN the|DT capital|JJ M|NNP and|CC C|NNP is|VBZ ,|, essentially|RB ,|, meaningless|JJ to|TO those|DT familiar|JJ with|IN the|DT conventional|JJ symbolism|NN used|VBN in|IN physics|NN .|. 

While|IN I|PRP acknowledge|VBP that|IN it|PRP is|VBZ not|RB easy|JJ to|TO know|VB how|WRB to|TO sort|VB out|RP the|DT many|JJ topics|NNS to|TO be|VB covered|VBN in|IN a|DT usage|NN book|NN ,|, most|RBS reasonable|JJ writers|NNS have|VBP taken|VBN a|DT stab|NN at|IN writing|VBG an|DT entry|NN under|IN a|DT heading|VBG that|WDT seems|VBZ a|DT likely|JJ place|NN to|TO look|VB ,|, then|RB have|VBP provided|VBN a|DT detailed|VBN index|NN .|. 
Not|RB Bernice|NNP Randall|NNP .|. 
True|JJ ,|, one|CD can|MD find|VB different|JJ from|IN ,|, etc.|NN ,|, in|IN an|DT entry|NN so|RB headed|VBD ,|, but|CC for|IN absolute|JJ constructions|NNS one|CD is|VBZ referred|VBN to|TO an|DT entry|NN called|VBD Covered|NNP with|IN onions|NNS ,|, relish|NN ,|, and|CC ketchup|NN ,|, I|PRP ate|VBD a|DT hotdog|NN at|IN the|DT ball-park|JJ .|. 
If|IN the|DT user|NN wants|VBZ to|TO find|VB out|IN about|IN misplaced|VBN adjectives|NNS and|CC adverbs|NNS ,|, reference|NN is|VBZ made|VBN to|TO the|DT entry|NN Electric|NNP shaver|NN for|IN women|NNS with|IN delicate|JJ floral|JJ design|NN on|IN the|DT handle|VB .|. 
A|DT search|NN for|IN only|RB would|MD be|VB futile|JJ .|. 

Perhaps|RB the|DT subject|NN and|CC treatment|NN of|IN usage|NN need|VBP some|DT lightening|VBG up|RP ,|, but|CC I|PRP am|VBP hard|JJ put|NN to|TO agree|VB that|IN they|PRP are|VBP quite|RB as|IN frivolous|JJ and|CC light-headed|JJ as|IN this|DT book|NN would|MD have|VB us|PRP believe|VB .|. 
Fun|NNP is|VBZ fun|NN ,|, but|CC those|DT who|WP might|MD rely|VB on|IN such|JJ a|DT book|NN are|NN quite|RB serious|JJ about|IN the|DT information|NN they|PRP are|VBP seeking|VBG ,|, and|CC it|PRP is|VBZ unfair|JJ to|TO play|VB fast|RB and|CC loose|JJ with|IN their|PRP$ sincerity|NN .|. 
A|DT sense|NN of|IN humor|NN about|IN a|DT subject|NN is|VBZ born|VBN of|IN a|DT feeling|NN of|IN security|NN about|IN it|PRP ,|, but|CC security|NN is|VBZ the|DT one|CD characteristic|JJ often|RB lacking|VBG among|IN those|DT who|WP would|MD use|VB Current|NNP American|NNP Usage|NNP .|. 

There|EX is|VBZ no|DT doubt|NN that|IN Randall|NNP enjoys|VBZ her|PRP$ work|NN .|. 
But|CC of|IN what|WP use|NN is|VBZ a|DT long|JJ entry|NN on|IN spoonerisms|NNS ?|. 
And|CC of|IN what|WP use|NN are|VBP the|DT interminable|JJ examples|NNS ,|, for|IN instance|NN ,|, of|IN the|DT misuse|NN of|IN like|IN for|IN as|IN ,|, which|WDT draw|VBP out|RP the|DT entry|NN to|TO three|CD pages|NNS ?|. 
More|JJR than|IN four|CD pages|NNS are|VBP devoted|VBN to|TO clichés|NNS (|( under|IN the|DT guise|NN of|IN Lo|NNP and|CC behold|NN ,|, it|PRP 's|VBZ man|NN 's|POS best|JJS friend|NN .|. ,|, which|WDT ,|, being|VBG an|DT exclamation|NN ,|, really|RB ought|MD to|TO end|VB in|IN an|DT exclamation|NN point|NN )|) .|. 
The|DT article|NN on|IN British|JJ /|NN American|NNP English|NNP (|( There|EX 's|VBZ no|DT home|NN like|IN Eaton|NNP Place|NNP .|. )|) is|VBZ a|DT good|JJ one|CD ,|, but|CC ,|, at|IN six|CD pages|NNS ,|, its|PRP$ utility|NN is|VBZ questionable|JJ .|. 
In|IN the|DT matter|NN of|IN pronunciations|NNS of|IN BrEng|NNP names|NNS ,|, it|PRP is|VBZ an|DT old-fashioned|JJ fantasy|NN of|IN Americans|NNPS that|IN Brits|NNP go|VB round|NN saying|VBG POM-frit|NNP for|IN Pontefract|NNP :|: most|JJS Brits|NNP that|IN I|PRP have|VBP heard|VBN give|VB the|DT name|NN a|DT spelling|VBG pronunciation|NN these|DT days|NNS ;|: and|CC so|RB with|IN many|JJ of|IN the|DT old|JJ shibboleths|NNS .|. 
Of|IN what|WP relevance|NN (|( to|TO usage|NN ,|, notwithstanding|IN the|DT fact|NN that|IN the|DT topic|NN is|VBZ interesting|JJ )|) is|VBZ an|DT entry|NN on|IN eponyms|NNS (|( John|NNP Bull|NNP and|CC John|NNP Hancock|NNP are|VBP not|RB just|RB any|DT johns|NNS .|. )|) ?|. 
That|DT is|VBZ not|RB ,|, strictly|RB speaking|VBG ,|, a|DT subject|JJ pertinent|JJ to|TO the|DT title|NN of|IN the|DT book|NN .|. 

All|DT of|IN which|WDT is|VBZ to|TO say|VB that|IN the|DT book|NN is|VBZ an|DT interesting|JJ work|NN on|IN the|DT language|NN and|CC contains|VBZ accurate|JJ ,|, though|IN longwinded|JJ information|NN about|IN what|WP it|PRP covers|VBZ ,|, interesting|JJ and|CC useful|JJ facts|NNS about|IN American|NNP English|NNP .|. 
Its|PRP$ only|RB real|JJ faults|NNS are|VBP its|PRP$ title|NN ,|, which|WDT belies|NNS the|DT content|NN ,|, the|DT cutesy|NN headings|NNS ,|, and|CC the|DT lack|NN of|IN a|DT truly|RB detailed|JJ index|NN :|: self-indexing|JJ does|VBZ not|RB provide|VB coverage|NN of|IN sufficient|JJ detail|NN .|. 
As|IN a|DT reference|NN work|NN on|IN usage|NN ,|, it|PRP is|VBZ far|RB from|IN complete|JJ :|: The|DT Simon|NNP and|CC Schuster|NNP Publicity|NN Department|NNP could|MD have|VB used|VBN an|DT entry|NN on|IN foreword|NN /|NN forward|RB (|( spelt|NN foreward|NN in|IN the|DT release|NN accompanying|VBG the|DT review|NN copy|NN )|) .|. 

A|DT longish|NN section|NN ,|, Some|DT Troublesome|NNP Idiomatic|NNP Prepositions|NNP ,|, and|CC a|DT Glossary|NNP of|IN Grammatical|NNP and|CC Linguistic|NNP Terms|NNS Used|VBN in|IN This|DT Book|NNP ,|, followed|VBN by|IN a|DT list|NN of|IN References|NNP ,|, sources|NNS associated|VBN with|IN specific|JJ entries|NNS ,|, round|NN out|RP the|DT work|NN .|. 

Laurence|NNP Urdang|NNP 

Language|NNP Notes|NNPS from|IN Abroad|RB 
Once|RB more|JJR unto|IN the|DT breach|NN for|IN the|DT warriors|NNS of|IN 1|CD '|POS Académie|NNP Française|NNP in|IN their|PRP$ uphill|JJ battle|NN to|TO preserve|VB the|DT purity|NN of|IN their|PRP$ native|JJ tongue|NN .|. 
Examples|NNS of|IN franglais|NNS which|WDT they|PRP find|VBP particularly|RB monstrous|JJ are|VBP ,|, I|PRP hear|VBP ,|, to|TO be|VB condemned|VBN to|TO a|DT newly|RB created|VBN Musée|NNP des|NNP horreurs|NNS .|. 
The|DT first|JJ is|VBZ sponsor|NN ,|, sponsoriser|NN ,|, sponsorisation|NN .|. 
The|DT academy|NN also|RB calls|VBZ upon|IN all|DT French|JJ to|TO send|VB in|IN further|JJ examples|NNS of|IN linguistic|JJ pollution|NN ,|, observing|VBG ruefully|RB that|IN this|DT is|VBZ one|CD museum|NN which|WDT will|MD be|VB open|JJ 12|CD months|NNS a|DT year|NN .|. 
But|CC the|DT savants|NNS have|VBP passed|VBN barman|NN ,|, blazer|NN ,|, bobsleigh|NN ,|, and|CC boycott|NN as|IN fit|NN for|IN inclusion|NN in|IN their|PRP$ new|JJ dictionary|JJ .|. 
[|NN From|IN The|DT Times|NNP ,|, 15|CD January|NNP 1988|CD ]|NN 

Letter|NNP to|TO the|DT Editor|NNP of|IN The|DT Times|NNP 
Penny|NNP Perrick|NNP regrets|VBZ (|( January|NNP 11|CD )|) that|IN There|EX is|VBZ no|DT word|NN in|IN English|NNP to|TO describe|VB that|IN particular|JJ ,|, special|JJ sort|NN of|IN pride|NN that|IN one|CD feels|VBZ in|IN the|DT achievements|NNS of|IN one|CD 's|POS children|NNS .|. 
But|CC the|DT verb|NN kvell|NN ,|, which|WDT exactly|RB expresses|VBZ that|DT emotion|NN ,|, is|VBZ already|RB (|( like|IN other|JJ Yiddish|JJ loanwords|NNS ,|, such|JJ as|IN chutzpah|NN ,|, meshugga|NN and|CC nosh|NN )|) to|TO be|VB found|VBN in|IN the|DT Supplement|NNP to|TO the|DT Oxford-|NNP English|NNP Dictionary|NNP .|. 

If|IN you|PRP think|VBP that|IN the|DT practice|NN in|IN some|DT Muslim|NNP countries|NNS of|IN amputating|VBG the|DT hand|NN of|IN a|DT thief|NN is|VBZ harsh|JJ ,|, beware|VB of|IN participating|VBG in|IN horse|NN shows|VBZ in|IN England|NNP ,|, where|WRB there|EX is|VBZ no|DT capital|NN punishment|NN but|CC the|DT issue|NN arises|VBZ every|DT few|JJ years|NNS :|: 
A|DT carriage|NN and|CC team|NN of|IN Cleveland|NNP Bay|NNP horses|NNS ,|, driven|VBN by|IN Mr|NNP Fred|NNP Pendlebury|NNP .|. .|. .|. [|NN were|VBD ]|NN approaching|VBG the|DT water|NN obstacle|NN during|IN the|DT cross-country|JJ section|NN of|IN the|DT Harrods|NNP International|NNP Grand|NNP Prix|NNP when|WRB the|DT leading|VBG pair|NN became|VBD confused|VBN ,|, turned|VBD back|RB and|CC became|VBD entangled|VBN with|IN the|DT second|JJ pair|NN .|. 
Mr|NNP Pendlebury|NNP ,|, of|IN Smithills|NNP ,|, near|IN Bolton|NNP ,|, Greater|NNP Manchester|NNP ,|, was|VBD eliminated|VBN .|. 

[|NN From|IN The|DT Times|NNP ,|, 16|CD May|NNP 1988|CD ]|NN 

Loose|NNP Cannons|NNP &|CC Red|NNP Herrings|NNP 
Readers|NNS should|MD be|VB familiar|JJ with|IN Robert|NNP Claiborne|NNP 's|POS earlier|JJR books|NNS ,|, especially|RB Our|PRP$ Marvelous|NNP Native|NNP Tongue|NNP :|: The|DT Life|NNP and|CC Times|NNP of|IN the|DT English|NNP Language|NNP .|. 
One|CD might|MD say|VB that|IN subtitling|VBG the|DT present|JJ book|NN A|DT Book|NNP of|IN Lost|VBD Metaphors|NNP is|VBZ an|DT example|NN of|IN a|DT loose|JJ canon|NN [|NN sic|JJ ]|NN —|NN unless|IN metaphor|NN is|VBZ taken|VBN in|IN its|PRP$ broadest|JJS sense—but|NN one|CD is|VBZ unlikely|JJ to|TO find|VB red|JJ herrings|NNS here|RB :|: the|DT etymologies|NNS of|IN a|DT few|JJ hundred|CD words|NNS and|CC phrases|NNS are|VBP given|VBN ,|, many|JJ not|RB readily|RB findable|JJ in|IN standard|JJ works|NNS of|IN reference|NN .|. 
The|DT rationale|NN behind|IN referring|VBG to|TO them|PRP as|IN lost|VBN arises|VBZ from|IN the|DT author|NN 's|POS observation|NN of|IN an|DT unfortunate|JJ state|NN of|IN affairs|NNS :|: because|IN of|IN an|DT increasingly|RB widespread|JJ lack|NN of|IN familiarity|NN with|IN the|DT basic|JJ ,|, structural|JJ elements|NNS of|IN our|PRP$ culture—|NN Greek|JJ and|CC Roman|NNP mythology|NN ,|, the|DT Bible|NNP ,|, literature|NN ,|, and|CC ordinary|JJ historical|JJ fact—people|NN today|NN are|VBP unable|JJ to|TO discern|VB the|DT origins|NNS of|IN terms|NNS like|IN aphrodisiac|NN ,|, Achilles|NNP [|NN sic|JJ ]|NN heel|NN or|CC tendon|NN ,|, meet|VB one|CD 's|POS Waterloo|NNP ,|, sow|VBP dragon|NN 's|POS teeth|NNS ,|, and|CC hand-writing|JJ on|IN the|DT wall|NN ,|, to|TO name|VB a|DT few|JJ .|. 
There|EX are|VBP many|JJ ,|, of|IN course|NN ,|, but|CC unaccountably|RB ,|, they|PRP are|VBP not|RB the|DT focus|NN of|IN this|DT book|NN .|. 

Claiborne|NNP investigates|VBZ and|CC reports|VBZ on|IN expressions|NNS like|IN sow|VBP one|CD 's|POS wild|JJ oats|NNS ,|, about|IN which|WDT he|PRP tells|VBZ us|PRP little|JJ or|CC nothing|NN :|: the|DT modern|JJ Latinate|NNP designation|NN Avena|NNP fatua|NN came|VBD too|RB many|JJ centuries|NNS after|IN the|DT original|JJ expression|NN to|TO have|VB any|DT relevance|NN to|TO it|PRP ,|, so|RB why|WRB bring|VB up|RP the|DT information|NN that|DT fatua|NN is|VBZ Latin|NNP for|IN `|`` foolish|JJ '|'' :|: it|PRP was|VBD also|RB Latin|NNP for|IN `|`` wild|JJ ,|, '|'' which|WDT might|MD be|VB more|JJR to|TO the|DT point|NN .|. 
In|IN any|DT event|NN ,|, it|PRP is|VBZ hard|JJ to|TO discern|VB ,|, from|IN the|DT arch|NN style|NN affected|VBN in|IN an|DT attempt|NN to|TO make|VB dull|JJ facts|NNS interesting|JJ ,|, just|RB what|WP is|VBZ the|DT origin|NN of|IN sow|VBP one|CD 's|POS wild|JJ oats|NNS .|. 
In|IN many|JJ entries|NNS ,|, Claiborne|NNP labors|NNS the|DT obvious|JJ ,|, offering|VBG little|JJ or|CC nothing|NN we|PRP do|VBP not|RB already|RB know|VB ,|, could|MD easily|RB imagine|VB ,|, or|CC for|IN which|WDT the|DT author|NN offers|VBZ no|DT explanation|NN .|. 
Among|IN examples|NNS of|IN the|DT first|JJ are|VBP spit|NN and|CC polish|VB ,|, on|IN the|DT spot|NN ,|, on|IN the|DT square|NN ,|, stick|VB one|CD 's|POS neck|NN out|IN ,|, etc.|NN 
Examples|NNS of|IN the|DT last|JJ include|VBP spill|NN the|DT beans|NNS ,|, square|VB the|DT circle|NN ,|, stalemate|NN ,|, etc.|NN 
Between|IN these|DT is|VBZ an|DT occasional|JJ flash|VBP of|IN useful|JJ wisdom|NN ,|, much|JJ of|IN it|PRP pretty|RB well|RB covered|VBN by|IN other|JJ books|NNS of|IN this|DT type|NN (|( which|WDT seem|VBP to|TO be|VB proliferating|VBG )|) .|. 

What|WP is|VBZ missing|VBG ,|, for|IN example|NN ,|, at|IN square|VB the|DT circle|NN ,|, is|VBZ the|DT information|NN that|IN because|IN the|DT area|NN of|IN a|DT circle|NN is|VBZ mathematically|RB calculated|VBN using|VBG pi|NN ,|, which|WDT is|VBZ irrational|JJ ,|, there|EX is|VBZ no|DT mathematical|JJ way|NN of|IN calculating|VBG the|DT dimensions|NNS of|IN a|DT square|NN with|IN the|DT same|JJ area|NN as|IN that|DT of|IN a|DT given|VBN circle|NN .|. 
But|CC that|DT does|VBZ not|RB mean|VB that|IN such|JJ a|DT square|JJ cannot|NN exist|VB .|. 
As|IN for|IN stalemate|NN ,|, which|WDT is|VBZ related|VBN to|TO checkmate|NN ,|, would|MD it|PRP not|RB have|VB been|VBN important|JJ to|TO indicate|VB that|IN the|DT -|: mate|NN part|NN has|VBZ nothing|NN to|TO do|VB with|IN English|NNP ,|, having|VBG been|VBN borrowed|VBN from|IN checkmate|NN which|WDT is|VBZ a|DT loanword|NN from|IN Persian|NNP (|( and|CC has|VBZ nothing|NN to|TO do|VB with|IN check|NN ,|, either|CC )|) .|. 

Often|RB ,|, an|DT entry|NN offers|VBZ nothing|NN in|IN the|DT way|NN of|IN etymology|NN and|CC merely|RB explains|VBZ the|DT meaning|VBG .|. 
Does|VBZ any|DT reader|NN need|VBP an|DT entry|NN like|IN this|DT one|CD ?|. 

straddle|NN .|. 
When|WRB you|PRP straddle|NN a|DT horse|NN ,|, you|PRP 've|VBP got|VBN one|CD leg|NN on|IN either|DT side|NN of|IN the|DT animal|NN .|. 
When|WRB a|DT politican|NN straddles|NNS an|DT issue|NN ,|, he|PRP 's|VBZ in|IN much|RB the|DT same|JJ position|NN .|. 

Some|DT speculative|JJ suggestions|NNS ,|, as|IN the|DT derivation|NN (|( or|CC reinforcement|NN )|) from|IN Seidlitz|NNP powders|NNS for|IN take|NN a|DT powder|NN are|NN sheer|JJ nonsense|NN .|. 
Not|RB all|DT entries|NNS contain|VBP misleading|JJ ,|, dull|JJ ,|, or|CC incorrect|JJ information|NN ,|, but|CC those|DT that|WDT do|VBP not|RB are|VBP marked|VBN by|IN a|DT lack|NN of|IN originality|NN .|. 

Laurence|NNP Urdang|NNP 

Word|NNP Maps|NNP 
Dialect|NNP geography|NN ,|, a|DT branch|NN of|IN dialectology|NN ,|, describes|VBZ certain|JJ features|NNS of|IN the|DT dialects|NNS of|IN a|DT language|NN and|CC their|PRP$ distribution|NN .|. 
The|DT field|NN is|VBZ about|IN 100|CD years|NNS old|JJ .|. 
Most|JJS prominent|JJ among|IN its|PRP$ earliest|JJS practitioners|NNS in|IN England|NNP was|VBD Joseph|NNP Wright|NNP ,|, who|WP prepared|VBD the|DT six-volume|JJ English|NNP Dialect|NNP Dictionary|NNP ,|, which|WDT was|VBD published|VBN between|IN 1898|CD and|CC 1905|CD ;|: the|DT best-known|JJS contemporary|JJ British|JJ specialist|NN is|VBZ Harold|NNP Orton|NNP .|. 
In|IN America|NNP ,|, work|NN proceeded|VBD space|NN during|IN the|DT 1930s|NN ,|, largely|RB under|IN the|DT direction|NN of|IN Raven|NNP McDavid|NNP ,|, Hans|NNP Kurath|NNP ,|, and|CC ,|, later|RB ,|, Harold|NNP Allen|NNP ;|: more|RBR recently|RB ,|, Lee|NNP Pedersen|NNP and|CC others|NNS have|VBP investigated|VBN American|NNP English|NNP dialects|NNS .|. 
Between|IN 1948|CD and|CC 1961|CD ,|, fieldworkers|NNS based|VBN at|IN the|DT University|NNP of|IN Leeds|NNP conducted|VBD the|DT Survey|NN of|IN English|NNP Dialects|NNP ,|, which|WDT studied|VBD 313|CD localities|NNS in|IN England|NNP (|( which|WDT ,|, as|IN everyone|NN ought|MD to|TO know|VB ,|, does|VBZ not|RB include|VB Wales|NNP or|CC Scotland|NNP )|) .|. 
The|DT present|JJ book|NN is|VBZ extracted|VBN from|IN the|DT two|CD major|JJ works|NNS that|WDT resulted|VBN from|IN the|DT Survey|NN ,|, The|DT Linguistic|NNP Atlas|NNP of|IN England|NNP (|( 1978|CD )|) and|CC A|DT Word|NNP Geography|NNP of|IN England|NNP (|( 1974|CD )|) ,|, both|DT under|IN the|DT direction|NN of|IN Harold|NNP Orton|NNP ,|, aided|VBN by|IN Sanderson|NNP and|CC Widdowson|NNP in|IN the|DT latter|JJ effort|NN .|. 

People|NNS generally|RB seem|VBP to|TO find|VB dialect|NN study|NN interesting|JJ .|. 
One|CD letter|NN writer|NN to|TO The|DT Times|NNP [|NN 21|CD June|NNP 1988|CD ]|NN reported|VBD :|: 
Our|PRP$ close|JJ neighbour|NN .|. .|. .|. in|IN Bere|NNP Regis|NNP ,|, who|WP was|VBD born|VBN in|IN the|DT village|NN and|CC who|WP speaks|VBZ with|IN a|DT delicious|JJ Dorset|NNP burr|NN ,|, always|RB uses|VBZ I|PRP instead|RB of|IN me|PRP .|. 
.|. .|. .|. 
Well|RB ,|, it|PRP makes|VBZ company|NN for|IN I|PRP and|CC company|NN for|IN she|PRP .|. 
Another|DT of|IN his|PRP$ happy|JJ expressions|NNS is|VBZ inner-wards|JJ ,|, meaning|VBG `|`` since|IN ,|, '|'' as|IN in|IN .|. .|. .|. I|PRP chucked|VBD him|PRP out|RP the|DT door|NN and|CC he|PRP 's|VBZ not|RB been|VBN back|RB innerwards|NNS .|. 

Another|DT reported|VBN [|NN same|JJ date|NN ]|NN :|: 
Let|VB 's|PRP get|VB it|PRP right|JJ .|. 
The|DT Bristol|NNP for|IN me|PRP is|VBZ not|RB I|PRP ,|, but|CC oi|NN .|. 
When|WRB I|PRP was|VBD teaching|VBG there|RB ,|, the|DT explanation|NN invariably|RB given|VBN by|IN boys|NNS brought|VBN to|TO me|PRP for|IN scrapping|VBG in|IN the|DT playground|NN was|VBD :|: Ee|NNP it|PRP oi|NN ,|, so|RB oi|NN it|PRP ee|NN .|. 

The|DT 100|CD maps|NNS selected|VBN for|IN representation|NN from|IN the|DT Survey|NN yield|NN information|NN on|IN several|JJ hundred|CD words|NNS ,|, some|DT of|IN which|WDT are|VBP clear|JJ variants|NNS ,|, others|NNS quite|RB different|JJ lexical|JJ entities|NNS .|. 
For|IN instance|NN ,|, Map|NNP 34|CD shows|VBZ the|DT areas|NNS ,|, marked|VBD off|IN by|IN boundary|NN lines|NNS ,|, where|WRB the|DT variants|NNS chimley|NN chimbley|NN ,|, chimmock|NN ,|, chimdey|NN ,|, chimbey|NN ,|, and|CC chimney|NN occur|VB .|. 
Map|NNP 33|CD shows|VBZ the|DT distribution|NN of|IN child|NN (|( most|JJS of|IN southern|JJ England|NNP )|) and|CC of|IN bairn|NN (|( north|RB of|IN a|DT slightly|RB wavy|NN line|NN between|IN Boston|NNP ,|, on|IN the|DT Wash|NNP to|TO the|DT east|JJ ,|, and|CC Lancaster|NNP ,|, on|IN the|DT west|NN coast|NN )|) .|. 

The|DT authors|NNS have|VBP provided|VBN a|DT brief|JJ introduction|NN which|WDT is|VBZ easy|JJ to|TO follow|VB ,|, a|DT list|NN of|IN suggested|VBD readings|NNS ,|, and|CC the|DT names|NNS and|CC addresses|NNS of|IN the|DT several|JJ institutions|NNS and|CC societies|NNS in|IN Britain|NNP where|WRB readers|NNS may|MD indulge|VB a|DT more|RBR intensive|JJ interest|NN in|IN dialect|NN study|NN .|. 
The|DT maps|NNS are|VBP clear|JJ ,|, each|DT occupying|VBG a|DT full|JJ page|NN ,|, and|CC the|DT word|NN information|NN is|VBZ well|RB set|VBN forth|RB on|IN them|PRP .|. 
Where|WRB necessary|JJ ,|, brief|JJ but|CC not|RB cryptic|JJ explanations|NNS are|VBP provided|VBN of|IN any|DT information|NN that|WDT might|MD seem|VB to|TO be|VB out|IN of|IN the|DT ordinary|JJ .|. 
I|PRP have|VBP only|RB one|CD nit|NN to|TO pick|VB with|IN the|DT authors|NNS .|. 
In|IN their|PRP$ description|NN of|IN isoglosses|NNS ,|, they|PRP write|VBP :|: 
These|DT are|VBP drawn|VBN to|TO run|VB midway|NN between|IN /|NN localities|NNS which|WDT were|VBD shown|VBN by|IN the|DT Survey|NN of|IN English|NNP Dialects|NNP to|TO use|VB the|DT different|JJ words|NNS or|CC pronunciations|NNS which|WDT are|VBP the|DT subject|NN of|IN the|DT map|NN .|. 

Although|IN it|PRP is|VBZ true|JJ that|IN isoglosses|NNS ,|, in|IN effect|NN ,|, set|VBN off|IN the|DT various|JJ areas|NNS where|WRB a|DT particular|JJ usage|NN was|VBD recorded|VBN ,|, more|RBR accurately|RB an|DT isogloss|NNS is|VBZ drawn|VBN to|TO connect|VB sites|NNS either|CC where|WRB speakers|NNS employ|VBP both|DT usages|NNS or|CC where|WRB speakers|NNS using|VBG one|CD or|CC the|DT other|JJ live|VB in|IN very|RB close|JJ proximity|NN .|. 
Hence|RB ,|, the|DT term|NN isogloss|NNS ,|, from|IN iso|NN -|: `|`` same|JJ '|'' +|NN gloss|VBP `|`` word|NN ,|, '|'' to|TO describe|VB the|DT line|NN on|IN a|DT map|NN where|WRB the|DT terms|NNS are|VBP of|IN equal|JJ distribution|NN .|. 
Isoglosses|NNP are|VBP to|TO dialect|NN maps|NNS what|WP isobars|NNS and|CC isotherms|NNS are|VBP to|TO weather|VB maps|NNS ,|, what|WP isobaths|NNS are|VBP to|TO geophysical|JJ maps|NNS of|IN the|DT oceans|NNS ,|, etc.|NN 
The|DT authors|NNS are|VBP not|RB alone|RB in|IN getting|VBG this|DT wrong|JJ :|: it|PRP is|VBZ incorrect|JJ in|IN some|DT dictionaries|NNS .|. 

In|IN those|DT countries|NNS where|WRB dialect|NN study|NN is|VBZ undertaken|VBN ,|, dialectologists|NNS observe|VBP that|IN there|EX are|VBP today|RB many|JJ factors|NNS militating|VBG against|IN the|DT strict|JJ maintenance|NN of|IN older|JJR dialect|NN boundaries|NNS :|: the|DT standardization|NN of|IN terminology|NN as|IN adopted|VBN by|IN national|JJ periodicals|NNS ,|, news|NN services|NNS ,|, radio|NN ,|, and|CC television|NN ;|: the|DT establishment|NN of|IN prestige|NN dialects|NNS and|CC ,|, through|IN the|DT media|NNS ,|, their|PRP$ promulgation|NN ;|: and|CC the|DT huge|JJ population|NN shifts|NNS that|WDT have|VBP taken|VBN place|NN ,|, particularly|RB in|IN the|DT U.S.|NN since|IN WWII|NNP .|. 
Such|JJ shifts|NNS have|VBP been|VBN somewhat|RB slower|JJR in|IN England|NNP ,|, but|CC seem|VBP now|RB to|TO be|VB speeding|VBG up|RP .|. 
There|EX are|VBP many|JJ other|JJ ,|, lesser|JJR factors|NNS at|IN work|NN ,|, but|CC taken|VBN together|RB ,|, all|DT tend|VBP toward|IN standardization|NN ,|, especially|RB as|IN the|DT older|JJR speakers|NNS die|VBP off|RP .|. 
In|IN some|DT respects|VBZ ,|, it|PRP may|MD not|RB be|VB long|RB before|IN certain|JJ aspects|NNS of|IN dialect|NN geography|NN will|MD be|VB largely|RB historical|JJ .|. 
The|DT importance|NN of|IN dialect|NN is|VBZ emphasized|VBN regularly|RB in|IN the|DT press|NN ,|, where|WRB we|PRP read|VBP about|IN people|NNS being|VBG killed|VBN ,|, as|IN in|IN parts|NNS of|IN India|NNP ,|, because|IN they|PRP use|VBP the|DT wrong|JJ shibboleths|NNS .|. 

This|DT book|NN is|VBZ a|DT good|JJ introduction|NN to|TO the|DT subject|JJ (|( in|IN England|NNP )|) ;|: those|DT familiar|JJ with|IN dialectology|NN in|IN America|NNP ,|, and|CC those|DT interested|JJ in|IN the|DT study|NN in|IN England|NNP or|CC ,|, indeed|RB ,|, generally|RB would|MD be|VB well|RB advised|VBN to|TO add|VB Word|NNP Maps|NNP to|TO their|PRP$ libraries|NNS .|. 

Laurence|NNP Urdang|NNP 

American|NNP Literary|NNP Almanac|NNP 
This|DT is|VBZ an|DT interesting|JJ ,|, useful|JJ reference|NN book|NN containing|VBG information|NN about|IN the|DT better-known|JJ writers|NNS of|IN America|NNP .|. 
It|PRP is|VBZ divided|VBN into|IN eighteen|CD chapters|NNS varying|VBG in|IN length|NN ,|, each|DT dealing|VBG with|IN a|DT different|JJ aspect|NN of|IN the|DT authors|NNS and|CC their|PRP$ works|NNS ,|, among|IN them|PRP ,|, 
Writers|NNPS Related|NNP to|TO Writers|NNPS Schooldays|NNP (|( which|WDT colleges|NNS and|CC universities|NNS spawned|VBN which|WDT writers|NNS )|) American|NNP Literary|NNP Pseudonyms|NNP American|NNP Literary|NNP Title|NNP Sources|NNS Literary|NNP Cons|NNP :|: Hoaxes|NNP ,|, Frauds|NNP ,|, and|CC Plagiarism|NNP in|IN American|NNP Literature|NNP The|DT Profession|NNP of|IN Authorship|NNP :|: 
Authors|NNP /|NN Publishers|NNPS /|NN Editors|NNP /|NN Agents|NNPS Thrown|NNP to|TO the|DT Wolves|NNP :|: Reviews|NNP and|CC Reviewers|NNP 

These|DT are|VBP supplemented|JJ by|IN an|DT extensive|JJ Bibliography|NNP and|CC a|DT detailed|VBN Index|NNP .|. 

As|IN can|MD be|VB seen|VBN from|IN the|DT chapter|NN headings|NNS ,|, some|DT of|IN the|DT material|NN is|VBZ trivial|JJ ,|, but|CC nonetheless|RB interesting|JJ for|IN that|DT .|. 
It|PRP is|VBZ not|RB at|IN once|RB apparent|JJ why|WRB the|DT book|NN is|VBZ styled|VBN an|DT almanac|NN ,|, but|CC that|DT is|VBZ unimportant|JJ :|: there|EX is|VBZ no|DT other|JJ book|NN I|PRP know|VBP of|IN that|DT contains|VBZ as|IN much|JJ diverse|JJ information|NN about|IN American|JJ writers|NNS as|IN this|DT one|CD .|. 
Its|PRP$ readability|NN and|CC organization|NN make|NN it|PRP suitable|JJ for|IN browsing—even|NN for|IN reading|NN straight|JJ through—so|NN in|IN that|DT respect|NN ,|, at|IN least|JJS ,|, it|PRP does|VBZ not|RB resemble|VB books|NNS in|IN the|DT Oxford|NNP Companion|NNP series|NN .|. 
It|PRP contains|VBZ many|JJ photographs|NNS of|IN writers|NNS ,|, some|DT quite|RB early|JJ ;|: these|DT enliven|NN the|DT appearance|NN of|IN the|DT book|NN but|CC accomplish|VB little|JJ else|RB ,|, unless|IN one|CD is|VBZ interested|VBN in|IN what|WP Samuel|NNP Clemens|NNP looked|VBD like|IN at|IN the|DT age|NN of|IN 15|CD (|( as|IN a|DT printer|NN 's|POS devil|NN )|) or|CC in|IN the|DT appearance|NN of|IN Hart|NNP Crane|NNP standing|NN in|IN the|DT middle|NN of|IN a|DT railroad|NN track|NN in|IN Cleveland|NNP in|IN 1916|CD .|. 

It|PRP is|VBZ difficult|JJ to|TO make|VB any|DT sensible|JJ connection|NN between|IN the|DT lives|NNS of|IN authors|NNS and|CC their|PRP$ creations|NNS .|. 
A|DT handful|NN might|MD have|VB led|VBN colorful|JJ existences|NNS ,|, some|DT are|VBP objects|NNS of|IN interest|NN because|IN they|PRP died|VBD early|JJ ,|, committed|VBN suicide|NN ,|, were|VBD related|VBN to|TO (|( other|JJ )|) famous|JJ people|NNS ,|, and|CC so|RB forth|RB ;|: but|CC such|JJ information|NN seldom|RB reveals|VBZ as|IN much|JJ about|IN their|PRP$ output|NN as|IN do|VBP the|DT creations|NNS themselves|PRP ,|, and|CC in|IN certain|JJ cases|NNS one|CD is|VBZ probably|RB better|JJR off|RP not|RB knowing|VBG quite|RB so|RB much|JJ .|. 

This|DT book|NN appears|VBZ to|TO have|VB been|VBN diligently|RB researched|VBN and|CC has|VBZ much|JJ to|TO recommend|VB it|PRP as|IN an|DT adjunct|NN to|TO most|JJS libraries|NNS ,|, public|NN and|CC private|JJ ,|, large|JJ and|CC small|JJ ,|, general|JJ and|CC specialized|JJ .|. 

Laurence|NNP Urdang|NNP 

Faculty|NN protest|NN against|IN apartheid|NN at|IN Cornell|NNP .|. 
[|NN TV|NN news|NN tease|NN ,|, WHEC|NNP ,|, Rochester|NNP ,|, .|. Submitted|NNP by|IN .|. ]|NN 

[|NN the|DT tenor|NN ]|NN brings|VBZ the|DT opera|NN to|TO its|PRP$ climax|NN in|IN his|PRP$ final|JJ suicide|NN .|. 
[|NN From|IN a|DT review|NN of|IN Handel|NNP 's|POS Tamerlano|NNP in|IN the|DT issue|NN of|IN Stereo|NNP Review|NNP .|. 
Submitted|NNP by|IN .|. ]|NN 

I|PRP would|MD like|VB to|TO make|VB a|DT couple|NN of|IN comments|NNS on|IN articles|NNS in|IN the|DT Autumn|NNP 1988|CD issue|NN [|NN XV|NNP ,|, 2|CD ]|NN .|. 
Re|NNP the|DT article|NN on|IN Cuthbert|NNP ,|, Dickens|NNP uses|VBZ intercourse|NN to|TO mean|VB `|`` communication|NN between|IN people|NNS '|POS in|IN A|DT Christmas|NNP Carol|NNP when|WRB Scrooge|NNP says|VBZ I|PRP will|MD not|RB be|VB the|DT man|NN I|PRP must|MD have|VB been|VBN but|CC for|IN this|DT intercourse|NN to|TO the|DT third|JJ Spirit|NN .|. 

I|PRP would|MD think|VB that|IN the|DT words|NNS grand|JJ and|CC stretch|NN would|MD be|VB known|VBN to|TO more|JJR people|NNS than|IN two|CD of|IN the|DT words|NNS the|DT author|NN gives|VBZ as|IN being|VBG familiar|JJ (|( chippy|NN and|CC hootch|NN )|) .|. 

Incidentally|NNP ,|, I|PRP seem|VBP to|TO recall|VB reading|NN somewhere|RB that|IN skins|NNS as|IN slang|NN for|IN `|`` dollars|NNS '|'' dates|NNS from|IN frontier|NN days|NNS when|WRB trappers|NNS used|VBD animal|NN skins|NNS as|IN currency|NN ,|, and|CC is|VBZ therefore|RB much|RB older|JJR than|IN early|JJ 20|CD th-century|JJ Harlem|NNP .|. 

.|. .|. 
.|. the|DT party|NN consisted|VBD of|IN Beckett|NNP ,|, Dame|NNP Peggy|NNP Ashcroft|NNP ,|, Harold|NNP Pinter|NNP ,|, and|CC the|DT late|JJ Alan|NNP Webb|NNP .|. 
[|NN from|IN The|DT Times|NNP Diary|NNP ,|, ,|, ]|NN 

